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| Boris Jackson's Challenge: Best Pick-Up Line... | |
 by Boris Jackson, August 6, 2007
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Hey folks,
BJ here. Thanks so much to all of you for participating in my challenge.
Before I forget, this week's challenge is to come up with the ....
Best Pick-up Line That Uses the Words "Shabbos Goy."
Please remember to register so that you can win the Jewcy shirt of your choice. And please also remember that the deadline is Friday at 5:00 PM.
Now, onto the winners of last week’s contest.
As it happens, old Boris wasn’t feeling so hot last week. Every night I’d go to sleep feeling fine as can be, and every morning I’d wake up in a pool of my own phlegm and vomit. The only thing that kept me going – other than Maria’s foot massages -- was checking the entries to my challenge. Who knew there could be so many great haikus about Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz? I sure didn’t!
I had so much trouble choosing a winner that I had to ask Maria for her opinion. Maria doesn’t speak much English, but we both liked Dan Freeman’s “The Case for Israel”:
The Case for Israel
Given Four Copies as Gifts
Still I'm Self-Hating
Congratulations, Dan. That’s a heckva haiku right there, and you’re the first-place winner.
My runner-up is Mstakelt’s “Simple”:
Dersh was unhappy.
Blamed goyim and the Arabs
Cheaper than a shrink.
Special thanks to mobius for another solid effort. Keep 'em coming.
-BJ
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Boris Jackson lives in Kalamazoo, Michigan with his wife, Maria, and his four children: Julio, Jorge, Squirrelisha, and David. When not thinking of creative challenges, he enjoys bass fishing and playing with the family’s dog, Ralph. More... |
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Anonymous
Is that a Shabbos goy in
Is that a Shabbos goy in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Karzai
Milking an udder
The rabbis say that I am forbidden to tug my cow's udder on Shabbat. If my cow's udder needs milking, I must find a shabbos goy to do so. Forunately, this is not an area from which the rabbis extrapolated a great deal. Shabbos dinner at my place, honey?
mobius
i never win
you turn me on like a shabbos goy
FOM
Dearest Mobius
Mobius, your entry to the dreidelporno challenge was of contest-winning quality. Persist, Jew.
mstakelt
invitation
Can you come on Friday night? The Shabbos Goy will clean up.
JewcyCraig
Dear Jerks
I hate to always come and bring this point up, but you can't win unless you're registered. Anon 12/03 and Karzai? Gotta register.. You're not gonna let Mobius win one are you?
Anonymous
Usually my sabbath goy helps
Usually my sabbath goy helps me greet the sabbath queen, but good lord I think I see her standing right in front of me.
SaraBenincasa
Milk 'n' Honey, Awwww Yeah.
Want a shabbos goy to really flip your switch?
Joey Kurtzman
Karzai
Where I am, it's seven minutes to 5 o'clock on Friday, so if you strike this as too late it will mean you are oppressing me as a Californian.
Karzai is User:SimpleLiquid, who is intractably perplexed by the difference between being registered and entering an unregistered name. The same person is one of the world's leading theorists on the statistical mechanics of fluids.
Anyway, he now gets it and I'm going to change Karzai to SimpleLiquid.
UPDATE: Interesting. I can change the name of anonymous commenter, or reassign a comment from one user to another, but what I cannot seem to do is change an anonymous comment to a user comment. One can never truly understand the ways of the Internetz. Simpleliquid loses.
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