Want To Live A Long Time? The Old Jewish Man’s Diet Can Help
One warning: if you follow this plan, you will live a long time, but you will probably smell. Read More
The Longevity Genes Project is an attempt by Cornell Medical College to understand why so many Ashkenazi Jews can live for so darn long, even despite unhealthy habits. We’re here to tell those doctors, “Don’t waste your time and money. We’ve got the answer.”
Forget Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Dr. Atkins, and anything South Beach that isn’t in Florida, the Old Jewish Man’s Diet is about to change the world. You don’t need a lot of exercise, and you don’t need to keep any charts. We’ve studied a lot of old Jewish grandparents to figure this out. One warning: if you follow this plan, you will smell.
Eat a hard boiled egg and some grapefruit. Take one multivitamin, and you’re good to go. Do this five days a week, and on the other two days, eat a bagel with lox, a light schmear of cream cheese, capers, tomatoes, and sliced raw onions.
Benefits: There is no significant link between egg consumption and heart disease. In fact, according to one study, regular consumption of eggs may help prevent blood clots, stroke, and heart attacks. For women, one study says if you consumed at least 6 eggs per week lowered their risk of breast cancer by 44%.
Grapefruit is a wonderfruit. It helps in cancer prevention, losing weight, and even prevents arthritis.
Any diet that includes a lot of fish is going to be a healthy one, and what better way to enjoy yourself than some nice, fresh lox? Also, we know it isn’t the easiest thing, but raw onions are really, really good for you. Try to eat as many as possible.
Again, we’re going with the fish. Either a can of sardines, or maybe try some tuna with some horseradish and mayo. On the side get some raw chickpeas and chopped up peppers. Eat an apple with some honey on the side. We know you do this every Rosh Hashanah, but why not take this from the tradition, and do it on the reg?
You need a little red meat in your life, and for this, we’re gonna need you to work with us, and you’re going to have to eat liver and onions. Seriously,who else eats liver and onions but people who don’t seem to die?
But the real trick is soup. This is the secret to Jews living a long time. Spend your Sundays making homemade chicken stock (never buy that high sodium crap from the grocery store), and then eat a noodleless chicken soup every night of the week. In fact, try and prepare all your foods. Making what you’re going to eat will make you happier, and will help you keep track of what you’re putting into your body.
So yes, chicken soup is good for the soul, but it will keep you kicking for a very long time.
Now the old Jewish man’s diet doesn’t just include dishes that were popular in the shtetl. We suggest plenty of juice, specifically ones with lots of greens, apples, and lemon. Keep away from the refined sugars and you should probably be pretty good to live for about 90+ years.
That, Cornell Medical College, is the secret to living a really long time.