Arts & Culture

Commenter Executions

Gawker has weekly executions of tiresome commenters, and these work out pretty well in that they encourage the rest of the chorus to keep things witty and interesting. If we had Gawker’s traffic we might not care that a few … Read More

By / November 13, 2008

Gawker has weekly executions of tiresome commenters, and these work out pretty well in that they encourage the rest of the chorus to keep things witty and interesting. If we had Gawker’s traffic we might not care that a few insufferable regulars keep popping up to offer their non-wisdom and overheated burbles on every single item we publish. It’s clear that "Rob," whoever he is, has quite a lot of time on his hands, no doubt divided between our humble little magazine and Human Events.

He describes himself as an "[o]utspoken Neo-Con who believes free people have the obligation to promote liberty when possible," which this outspoken neo-con finds very promising indeed. Judging by that self-call, I’d have welcomed the addition to the Jewcy stable. But Rob’s making the cabal look bad. For one, he believes Barack Obama is an evil socialist looking to bring down the United States, something no neo-con with a leftist schooling–which all neo-cons, to be neo-cons, must have–can ever truly believe. For another, he has no sense of humor, which is sort of the sine qua non of the movement when you consider that we brought you Sarah Palin. Finally, poor Rob can’t read or write so terribly well.

Jewcy has never shied from peddling smut (our interview with Joanna Angel and her mother is still one of our most-trafficked features) and it was in no way reflective of partisan bias that we happily posted the first few minutes of "Nailin’ Paylin’," Larry Flynt’s answer to the GOP’s vice presidential nominee. Had there been a similar tribute entitled "Obama’s O-Face" or "Makin’ Michelle," you can bet your foreskin we’d have been on the case. Now, it’s true that I did in the end vote for Barack Obama, but that was a decision made more in sorrow than in enthusiasm, and arrived at with a great deal of conscience-wrangling. And before I made it, when I was still a tentative McCain supporter, I posted the Flynt video, to which Rob replied:

10/21/08 12:38 pm

It’s clear that it’s Obama you jerk off to but only a racist pig would post an Obama porno, right? It takes a special kind of coward to be a sexist pig when socially acceptable.

Make sure you wash your hands before pulling the lever on Erection Day.

(Who is the lucky girl to get stuck with Michael I wonder?)

Had it just been that last line, I’d now be featuring this as a premium comment.

Then there was Jewcy‘s roundup of contributors’ and friend’s reactions to the election. Despite the fact that a clear introduction explained what that post was doing, and each installment was followed by the author’s byline, Rob still thought I wrote them all. That would mean I was simultaneously overjoyed, skeptical, dubious, saddened, horrified and chastened by Obama’s victory last Tuesday. Didn’t Fitzgerald say the sign of a great mind was the ability to weight two opposing ideas at once?

"I watched Barack Obama’s victory speech again, and I felt a lump in my throat the size of Bristol Palin’s unborn child. After eight years of demagoguery, paranoia, wrath and carnage—which the textbooks will record as one of our darkest hours alongside McCarthyism, Vietnam, and internment camps—the American people have elected a chief executive worthy of the office, a man who values the integrity of our constitution and the unparalleled greatness of its ideals. On January 20th we will no longer have a dictatorial charlatan who masquerades as the president of the United States of America; we will have a president of the United States of America."

Mr. Weiss

Those words say volumes about you and your politics.

Your ignorance and hate frighten me. I will keep your above piece to show to future generations because they will not believe it.

Those words were also written by Marty Beckerman. When this fact was politely pointed out to Rob by his fellow commenter Zeevico, he parried, "Weiss simply agrees with him," which is one way to admit you were wrong.

In the final analysis, however, it was that he got ungrammatically nasty with our lovely art director:

Where were you when this site was showing Larry Flint’s porno on Palin?

Spare me your sisterhood BS. Your a phony.

And you’re burnt toast, Rob. The Committee on the Present Danger says the invite got lost in the mail. AEI changed the locks. The "Clean-Break" white paper is literally just white paper for your undeserving eyes. Beat it, hit the bricks, fuck off.

[Note: We’re leaving Rob’s IP alone to give him a chance to read this post and — inevitably — comment on it. Then he’s banned.]