Arts & Culture

Jon Lovitz, 58, And Jessica Lowndes, 27, Fake ‘Secret’ Relationship

The couple teased out the “confession” by leading the Internet on a merry chase. Read More

By / March 28, 2016

Update: Jessica Lowndes has announced that the relationship was a hoax to promote her music video, in which Lovitz appears. Is nothing sacred to you, Madame? Not even Instagram relationship posts?

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Jon Lovitz, of Saturday Night LiveThe Critic, and Jewtopia (remember Jewtopia?), announced over the weekend that he’s in a relationship with Jessica Lowndes, the singer and actor best known for her role on 90210 (the reboot, not the original). Or, rather, the couple spent the weekend dropping hints on every social media platform they could find, like an elaborate easter egg hunt, but instead of easter eggs it was weird hashtags.

Yes, there would be a 30+ year age gap in the relationship, and to each their own. But Lowndes and Lovitz seemed really determined to not let you forget it, and instead invited you along for a Nancy-Drew-sleuth-a-thon of their hidden romance.

The mystery began with Lowndes posting a picture on her Instagram of a hand on her thigh, with the caption “His hands are wise and tell a thousand stories… #smitten #hatersgonnahate.”

That quote seems to be original, and we all needed to know the narrative capabilities of this mysterious beau’s hands, as well as how they might fare at a wisdom saving throw for Dungeons & Dragons.

Next, a photo of bowls of ice cream, with the defiant caption, “You say sugar daddy but I say ice cream daddy! Lol.”

Soon, a picture of what might be an engagement ring followed, and then a video of Lowndes in bed while her mysterious suitor speaks off-camera (the video’s hashtags include “#TooOldToUseHashtags”).

Finally, the Twitter reveal:

 

Lovitz then tweeted at haters (who referred to Lowndes as his “daughter”) that they’re “jealous,” as the mystery seemingly drew to a close.