News

Nicki Minaj Has the Scoop on Kim Kardashian’s Hanukkah Card

HOT. Read More

By / December 10, 2014
Jewcy loves trees! Please don't print!

Nicki Minaj did a stellar impression of Beyonce on SNL this past weekend—so good, in fact, that the Jewish world totally overlooked her slightly-less-stellar-but-still-excellent Kim Kardashian impersonation, in which she revealed the big scoop of the holiday season, which we solemnly bring to you now: the story behind the Official Kim K Hanukkah card.

Dressed in a nude body-con dress, her luscious hair extensions cascading over her shoulders, Minaj-as-Kardashian patiently explained the truth behind her beloved/infamous nude photo shoot for Paper Magazine. Apparently, editors “forgot to put the backgrounds in so the photos are completely out of context,” and they’re actually all, like, super-noble public service announcements in service of the betterment of humanity! Like, her oil-slicked body is really “a warning about the new Keystone Pipeline.” And that crazy champagne-parabola pic is actually a “part of a math competition for high school seniors.” (“X equals full frontal!”)

And that final shot of Kardashian exuberantly facing the camera front on, breasts akimbo? “It was going to be my Hanukkah card for my Jewish friends,” Minaj cooed in Kim’s signature vocal fry register. “L’Chaim!”

Quoth Kim: that’s hot.