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Dershowitz and Finkelstein, Sitting in a Tree…

These gents hate each other with a ferociousness and tenacity usually not found outside the junior high girls’ locker room, which is lame and a total waste of time, sure, but also pretty fricking hilarious, if you’re in the mood for a good cockfight. Dershowitz loses serious points for his retarded and somewhat obsessive list-making (The Most Despicable Things Finkelstein Has Said, The 10 Stupidest Things Finkelstein Has Said, The 10 Most Devastating Things People Have Said About Finkelstein, The 10 Cruelest Things Finkelstein Has Said), general grossness (defending OJ!?), and for trying to derail Finkelstein’s University of California Press publication by running like a snot-nosed bitch to Gov. Schwarzenegger. Finkelstein, in the other corner, seems to have an actual sense of humor (check out his Bruce Lee-enhanced video mockeries of Dershowitz!), the ethical head start of being the aggressed and not the aggressor, and Survivor (not the show; the genocide) parents, which everyone knows you can’t argue with, damn it. Plus, he’s a fox. Will Dershowitz succeed in his bid to get DePaul to deny Finkelstein’s tenure? Will Finkelstein call Dr. Ruth a sack of shit? Will Dershowitz force his students to TP Finkelstein’s house? Will Finkelstein and Jimmy Carter join forces to airlift Dershowitz into Gaza and leave him there, naked? Will Nate and Brenda ever manage to make it work? Stay tuned. Whatever happens, remember, boys: the opposite of love is indifference.

View Comments (4)
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