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Moses Was A Black Man

When I was coming home from the Jewcy office today, a bunch of African-American guys stood in the subway station, wearing long white robes — a bizarre visual image considering the historical association of such garments — and carrying books with golden Stars of David on the covers.

"Do you know what this is?" asked one of the men — who stood six-foot-something — pointing to a Star of David.

"I think so," I said. "Are you… like… Jewish?" 

 "We're the real Jews. Almost all of the people who think they're Jews aren't Jews, because the Torah proves that the real Israelites were black. Do you think you're a Jew? Because if so, you've been deceived."

"I… uh… work for a Jewish website," I explained. "Actually this sounds like an amazing story. Can I interview you?"

 "It would be a waste of both our time," the man said, "because whoever owns your website won't let you publish it. They don't want to get the truth to get out. They'd fire you. They have too much invested."

However, the man directed me toward his organization's website, which has Star of David imagery and games such as "Who Wants to Be a Bible Scholar?" Strangely "Jesus Christ" is praised over and over, so there you have it: not only are the real Jews black — they're also Christians.

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