This article first appeared on November 22, 2008 and has been republished as part of the series JEWCYEST WEEK EVER.

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Dr. Mark Greenberg* founded and serves as the director of an organization that focuses on treating sexual disorders within the Haredi community in Jerusalem. His organization, which he does not want to be named, is one of a few organizations with the same purpose and his is the smallest with the least amount of paid staff and the smallest budget. His organization provides counseling for Haredi couples that are experiencing sexual problems within their marriage; they also hold workshops for women that are having problems reaching orgasm or that find sexual intercourse with their husbands painful. In addition, there is a small team of social workers on hand that deal with cases in which a doctor or a psychologist suspects sexual abuse of a woman or a child.

On the condition of anonymity, for fear of being criticized by his fellow Haredi community members, Dr. Greenberg* agreed to speak about what he has observed behind the closed doors of Haredi society. "A lot of Haredim argue that the fact that sex is not an acceptable topic of casual conversation and that it is strictly reserved for married couples, renders the Haredi community a group of people with a high degree of respect and appreciation for sexual relations between man and wife– a sort of spiritual connection with one’s partner that the secular world, whose communities deal with sex in abundance from very young ages, cannot possibly compete with," explains Dr. Greenberg of the Haredi perspective. "That may or may not be true; it’s true that the Jewish law requires a man to sexually gratify his wife, and that men and women are supposed to maintain modesty and reserve sexual desire for their spouses. It’s possible that this creates something unique and special. The downside, though, is simply lack of education, awareness, and outlets for sexual desire. It hurts the population and it’s difficult for them to find help."

Dr.Greenberg explains that there area a few ‘repeat problems’ that his clients tend to have. First, many women experience vaginismus (burning, discomfort, and/or serious pain occurring during or before penetration that prevents women from enjoying sexual intercourse, or having it all), which is also a common problem outside of the Haredi communities. "The difference here is that if you’re in a secular community and you suffer from vaginismus, you can go to your gynecologist, psychologist, or sex therapist and talk about your problems. They can run tests and make sure that there are no health issues, give you tips for working through the problem, and discuss any psychological issues that may be causing the vaginismus. Haredi women, however, go to doctors and live entirely in the framework of their own ultra-Orthodox communities. Many are ridden with sexual guilt when they are making the transition from single to married– it’s difficult for them to suddenly accept that acting on sexual desire is now completely acceptable, despite the fact that they grew up feeling the need to constantly repress this desire. That guilt makes vaginismus common, and it also makes it very difficult for women to seek help. They don’t always feel comfortable talking to doctors or community members because everyone knows everyone. If they say something wrong of the sexual nature, they could be ostracized from their communities." Dr. Greenberg’s organization, then, serves a very important purpose. They have a team of employees that are required to keep all information about clients confidential, regardless of their status within the community. Also, as a member of the Haredi community himself, Dr. Greenberg makes certain that all services offered are within the bounds of Jewish law. "No one would come to me for help if they weren’t certain that I was operating in accordance to halacha {Jewish law}. My goal is to show my clients that we can deal with sexuality as religious Jews; Jewish law allows for this, and it encourages it." Another common problem that Dr. Greenberg sees amongst his clients is a general inability to have an orgasm among women, and premature ejaculation among men. For women, the organization offers workshops that focus on basic anatomy and techniques for reaching orgasm with their husbands. These workshops include everything from discussions that are both sexual and religious in nature, and even live demonstrations that show women how to climax and exactly what happens physically when a woman reaches orgasm. Although men are less likely to seek help, workshops for men related to premature ejaculation and how to gratify one’s wife are also offered. "Most Haredim grew up without learning the basics about their bodies and their sexuality. The intentions aren’t bad; parents want to shelter their children from sexuality before they are prepared to deal with it. Still, this means that marriage is the first time that Haredim have the ability to deal with sexuality in a healthy way. They have to start from scratch, and they don’t always know how to do that. People in the secular world tend to forget that it isn’t completely intuitive," he adds. Dr. Greenberg and his team have also worked with members of the Haredi population that are pedophiles and victims of sexual assault. "These issues are so hush hush; people don’t know where to go to talk about them. My goal, and the goal of organizations like mine, is to provide a framework within the ultra-Orthodox community for dealing with sexuality. If this framework doesn’t exist, the Haredim have much less of a chance at achieving sexual health." Before speaking with Dr. Greenberg, I contacted two other organizations that are similar in nature. One refused to talk to someone ‘on the outside’ (his words, not mine), and the other spent most of our interview defending the Haredim and telling me what was wrong with sexuality in the secular world today. Dr. Greenberg wasn’t surprised by my experiences: "People talk about the Haredim in a way that shows a lack of understanding. They’re portrayed only as extremists, and the world has little tolerance for them. As a result, they’re extremely, extremely defensive. They don’t want their problems being discussed by the rest of the world– people chastise them enough." I wondered what made Dr.Greenberg different and why he was willing to discuss his clients’ issues with me, being that I would ultimately be publishing much of what he said. "I don’t want to reveal my name or the name of my organization because I don’t want to jeopardize the confidence that my clients have in me. I would not be able to serve my community if they didn’t come to me for help. At the same time, I think that it’s important for the Haredim to air their dirty laundry, so to speak. The reason that people talk about us like we’re animals at a zoo simply to be observed and talked about is because we don’t give them anything to work with. We give them too much room to speculate. If we tell them more about our lives– the beauty and the struggles– maybe they’ll understand us. It’s more difficult to chastise what you can almost, sort of understand." Additionally, Dr. Greenberg feels as though the Haredim would benefit if they were able to form some sort of professional connection with the secular world. "Doctors and psychologists have made amazing strides as far as treatment for sexual disorders," he explains. "If our organizations felt like they could have professional relationships with secular professionals without risking their reputations, we could provide much more extensive treatment. We do what we can, but the few Haredi professionals that are committed to the cause can’t know everything on their own. Just like secular people, we’re limited by our own education and our own experiences." It’s clear that Dr. Greenberg and his team are doing great things for the Haredim, and that he wishes that he could do more. "I wish that I could make my community understand that being a good Jew means dealing with sexuality. You must please your wife, you must never hurt her, even if it is unintentional. You must love one another, and to do that completely, you must have a healthy level of intimacy. What can I do? I can sit in this old building and hope that they come to me despite decades and decades of a preoccupation with unnecessary shame." *The name of the doctor being interviewed has been changed.

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Naomi’s work is important and her contributions are admirable. What she may not realize is that a commitment to social justice–for Jews and gentiles alike–isn’t an idea coming solely from contemporary Jewish organizations that utilize the appeal of community service initiatives to engage young Jews. The idea of helping refugees, or ‘strangers’ in your land, comes straight from the Tanakh:

Leviticus 19:33/34

"And if a stranger resides in your land, you shall not do him wrong. The stranger that resides with you in your land shall be to you as one of your citizens; you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt…" It’s certainly not a new idea and its roots are in the text, not in progressive Judaism, Jewish renewal, or whatever you want to call the philosophy maintained by groups of Jews who want to do good deeds in the name of their Jewish identities while maintaining a degree of secularism.

Many Jewish organizations–both in the diaspora and in Israel–begin with a single idea stemming from Jewish text. In order to market this idea to less religious Jews, they lose the Torah language and dub it a ‘new’ or ‘different’ way to be Jewish without being religiously observant in the modern world. The result is a misleading commitment to social justice that reinforces the notion that Jewish text is only accessible and relevant to halachically observant Jews–and that community service and global awareness are reserved for less traditional, more contemporary Jews. This is problematic because it reinforces an unnecessary rift between Jews that live different lifestyles, which prevents them from relating to each other. It furthers the lack of understanding between the religious, the secular, and everyone in between, because everyone feels like their values come from a different place and that they are, in fact, irreconcilable. The Orthodox can’t understand the secular lack of reverence for the Torah and for Jewish law, and more secular Jews feel as though Torah and Jewish law are irrelevant to their ‘contemporary’ Jewish values.

Whether your expression of Judaism is in the form of community service initiatives, strict adherence to Jewish law, or both–the truth is that it all comes from the same place. In that case, if you’re looking for meaning and depth as a non-observant Jew, why not pick up the book itself instead of letting Hillel or the Progressive Jewish Alliance water it down for you? You can still eat bacon and intermarry, I promise.

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Well, some of the settlers. Despite what the media may have you thinking, the small group of young people that carried out these heinous, inexcusable attacks on Palestinian people and their property, in addition to vicious attacks against the IDF soldiers carrying out the evacuation, do not come close to representing the actions of the majority of the Jews in Hebron. Regardless, even if the community rabbis warned settlers that they must protest peacefully, some people didn’t adhere to that advice. What happened in Hebron was a tragedy on more than one level, and it illustrates the mixed feelings that the settlements bring about for Jews in Israel, myself included.

The day before the pullout began, the IDF declared Beit HaShalom a closed military zone. The evacuation seemed imminent and I was fuming. I’d heard this story before, and I was disgusted with the court for its ruling based on a general rejection of the settlements and a denial of their legitimacy. I sat on my bed, in uniform, wondering what to do. I didn’t want to be a part of the IDF on a day in which they removed Jews from a home that they’d purchased– something that I’d naively hoped would never happen again in the Jewish State. Suffice it to say that I didn’t perform my duties in the army during this time and I can confidently say that I did not in any way assist the IDF during this operation. Strangely enough, I’m not feeling content.

Given my feelings about so-called ‘disengagement’, you’d think that I’d be proud of, or at least satisfied with, my actions. It’s not so simple. I don’t doubt my principles related to the settlements, but reading about young extremists and seeing masked Jews looking like members of Islamic Jihad takes its toll. My commitment to the land is unwavering, but it’s a separate issue. I don’t feel strongly for the community of people that allows violence like this to take place. I could almost cry for the settlers that peacefully protested and watched their Jewish brothers and sisters forcefully remove their friends and family– except for the fact that their condemnation of the violent extremism isn’t loud enough. Sure, a few important rabbis have condemned the attacks and I’m thankful for that– but where are the protestors? Why aren’t the residents of Hebron bullying their violent community members like they tried to bully the soldiers that carried out the evacuation?

They aren’t protesting because deep down, they aren’t ready to make the statement that violence targeting the innocent is unjust, even when one is certain that his ideology and his claims are morally sound. My political views aside, until they’re ready to make that statement, I won’t feel much for the residents of Hebron. We don’t have much in common, and our respective visions of what it means to be a state held to the standard of Jewish values can’t coexist.

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As a native English speaker who is also proficient in Hebrew, I was wide-eyed with both shock and disgust as I began to explore what struck me as an historically inaccurate, grammatically incorrect massacre of supposed facts. The archives weren’t manipulative or skewed in one way or another; they simply didn’t make sense. After a bit of investigation, I discovered that this mess was a result of translations by native English speakers who lacked sufficient historic knowledge and Hebrew language skills. They had been forced to translate the archives from Hebrew to English within a couple of days, an order that was given by (what I’m generous in calling) an incompetent officer that, thankfully, is no longer anywhere to be found in Dover Tzahal.  With my sincere interest in history, the written word, and the historical and political image of Israel, I requested the responsibility of editing the archives. Since then, the task has been officially delegated to me just as I’d so desperately wanted—and yet, I feel cursed.

I’ve spent the last several years of my life playing catch-up after being raised in an assimilated family and having attended public schools that glossed over the history of the Middle East and Israel, in particular. At this point, I consider myself to be more than generally knowledgeable about the topics of Jewish, Zionist, and Israeli history along with contemporary affairs, and so I’d simply assumed that editing the historical archives would be somewhat effortless and maybe even fun. I was wrong.

My difficulties are completely unrelated to historical accuracy; I can easily read one paragraph at a time and alter what is not correct, verify facts with credible sources and make certain that the information is solid. The major issue, which impedes the process most of the time, is word choice. For example, there are no generally accepted definitions of a terrorist, a Palestinian, a defensive operation, a massacre, an arrest, or any other term that is essential in describing Israel’s past. I’d become accustomed to using these words in a way that coincided with my understanding of these loaded terms and phrases. Now, however, I’m not speaking for myself, my education, my personal bibliography, or my group of likeminded friends—I am speaking for the IDF, and thus, in some ways, I am speaking for Israel.

Israel critics would have difficulty finding historical inaccuracies or biased terms in the IDF historical archives that are written in Hebrew. That said, the country also needs to express its political actions and ideals as fairly and articulately as possible in English—its second language. For example, in Hebrew, the word piguah refers to an attack. It does not strictly refer to acts of terrorism, but most English-speaking immigrants in this country—the ones that do all of the translating for the IDF—only hear this word in that particular context. If there was a piguah, in all likelihood, a suicide bomber has attacked. Linguistically, however, the word could refer to any type of attack, even a justified counter-attack, and certainly any number of attacks that are not politically motivated. It isn't easy to find translators whose understanding of the cultural and linguistic connotations of the sensitive words used to describe Israel’s “official stance" is deep enough to be published and disseminated, especially considering that they are the very translations taught in classrooms, aired on the news, and influencing voters and policy makers, everywhere.

Most people don’t have a reason to read the IDF website, especially when it comes to the online historical archives. That thought in particular has reduced some of the stress associated with editing the archives, but my general understanding of both the fate of all that is written and the ideological conflict that surrounds the State of Israel, regardless of what it or its supporters do, makes this endeavor nearly impossible. My understanding is that even if the overwhelming majority of people rely on other news sources, books, academic journals, and credible professors for their information, one thing is certain: those looking at the IDF with negative, preconceived notions about our military history and our interpretation of it will read the IDF historical archives, and they will, however unfairly, use our website to conjure up arguments that could falsely represent the position of the IDF and thus fuel the opposition in the ideological war that Israel is, and always has been, fighting.

I know that the IDF archives are misleading due to bad translations, but to most others, they are simply a representation of the IDF and its official stance regarding controversial, historical events. In Israel, we do not have the luxury of overlooking typographical errors, misquotes, or numerical mishaps. Everything associated with this country—every military operation, every sentence written in any publication, the general justification of our existence—is scrutinized in an aggressive way that no other sovereign state has had to contend with.

I see no need to embellish or to leave any portion of our narrative untold, but it's a challenge to make certain that the language coincides with the truth, both in the context of the archives and out of context. For now, I’ll continue to research both Israeli policy and international law in order to best define some of these terms. I'll strive to choose words that speak the completest truth possible, and that serve to further the understanding of our people’s national experiment.

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