Tablet is counting down their list of 100 Greatest Jewish Films ever, and since nobody is countering with a list of 100 Greatest Lowbrow Films Starring Jews, I just had to say a few things along those lines.

Actually, I just have one thing to say: why aren’t we recognizing the sheer brilliance that is the Bette Midler and Sarah Jessica Parker comedic partnership?  The Divine Miss M. and the unofficially divine Miss S have only shot two films together, The First Wives Club and Hocus Pocus, but they are two of the finest (and most re-run) comedies of the 1990’s.

In 1993, Hocus Pocus told the story of a young boy saving the children of Salem from a trio of predatory witches.  This is a fantasy film produced by Disney, so it is superficially meant to be about good conquering evil; however, a cursory viewing reveals the obvious: the villainous witches–The Sanderson Sisters–steal the show.  Bette is Winifred ‘Winnie’ Sanderson, the eldest, ugliest and angriest of the trio.  Kathy Najimy plays Mary, the sweetly dim middle sister.  Sarah Jessica plays Sarah (creative!), the youngest and only beautiful sister.  Like Mary, she is painfully stupid, but her crystalline voice lures children to their cottage, so Winifred humors her in a way she will not afford Mary.

Bette’s on-screen magnetism is no surprise, considering that by ’93, she had already won several Golden Globes and proved herself in Beaches, The Rose and For The Boys.  She dons a set of awful buck teeth and crowds the screen screeching and yelping and wiggling her fingers in a very sinister way, showing off a formidable aptitude for slapstick physical comedy.  My apologies to Kathy, who makes a decent effort to foil Bette’s electric wit, but Sarah Jessica is the only other actress able to keep pace with Winnie the witch.  In ’93, Sarah was post-Square Pegs but pre-Sex and the City, just a nice Jewish girl from Ohio with a Brooklyn nose and a Broadway voice.  Bette is Hocus Pocus‘ marquis attraction, but Sarah Jessica is the movie’s pleasant surprise.  She imbues her silly character with a lightness and fluidity that I am convinced couldn’t have come from the script.  Even more impressive is her performance during the film’s musical number (that I’m sure came from Bette’s contract) where the Sanderson sisters perform a rousing interpretation of Screamin’ Jay Hawkins’ “I Put a Spell on You.”  Sarah keeps pace with Bette just fine, even escaping with a solo in the form of the film’s ridiculous “Come Little Children.”  Bette’s film credits may squash Sarah’s, but Sarah successfully achieves a level of creepiness that neither Winnie nor Mary ever come close to matching.

Hocus Pocus is a children’s movie, but Bette and Sarah interpret rather light material in a very serious, artistic way.  The payoff is how delightfully funny the whole affair is–how can you not laugh at Carrie Bradshaw and the Divine Miss M. zooming around on straw brooms?  If The Sanderson Sisters are The Three Stooges, Winnie is Moe and Sarah is Curly.

Winnie: WHY? Why was I cursed with such idiot sisters?
Sarah: Just lucky, I guess.

Their on-screen chemistry is heightened by the fact that they even look a bit alike, with Sarah’s features a younger mirror of Bette’s even beneath the special effects makeup.  I would have watched Hocus Pocus 2: Sarah and Winnie Take New York, but alas, the sequel never got the green light.

Someone must have agreed with me, because in 1996, Sarah was cast as Bette’s foil in The First Wives Club.  The film also stars Hollywood royalty (and five different Oscar winners) like Goldie Hawn (Elise) and Diane Keaton (Annie), but Bette’s portrayal of Brenda Morelli-Cushman (Sicilian/Jewish) has always stood out as my favorite.  Unlike her sisters at arms, Brenda’s revenge on ex-husband Morty (Dan Hedaya: another Jew) is carried out swiftly and systematically, and there is little doubt that she will come out on top.  Brenda gets all the best one liners, and her strength, combined with her perfect comedic timing, keeps her from becoming a caricature of a spurned woman, unlike Elise, the alcoholic starlet, and the deeply obsessive and insecure Annie.  Morty’s Achilles heel, and Brenda’s comedic foil, is a foxy young thing named Shelley.  Shelley is, of course, played by a lithe Sarah Jessica Parker, having traded her witch’s robes for a dress seemingly spray painted onto her hips.  Shelley is blessed with a great body, bad taste and poor judgement, and Brenda, knowing all of this, eventually wins Morty back without really trying.

Shelley and Brenda share very few scenes in the film, but are still perfectly at odds with each other.  Brenda constantly disparages Shelley (“Princess Pelvis,” “Where’s Shelley…glove compartment?”) and Shelley criticizes Brenda (“Why don’t you try on one of these in your size?”) in front of Morty.  Even though they don’t have a lot of screen time together, we get a lot of critical looks at Shelley by Brenda, which are delightful because Brenda is our Greek Chorus; she is articulating everything the viewer is already thinking about Shelley, who is, in turn, artfully acting out those things.  The two are equal only in their dramatic overreactions to mostly everything, the skill that unites them in their craft (as Bette and Sarah) and in the film (as Brenda and Shelley).

So why aren’t we seeing more of Bette and Sarah?  Is it because the screen can barely contain the volume of talent present when the two are together?  Or perhaps contemporary comedies only want to cast one Divine Diva, if they cast any at all. The First Wives Club was a considerable commercial success, due in large part to Bette, and I would thank Sarah as well; so why haven’t other directors tapped the two to play mother and daughter?  Boss and employee?  If Ben Stiller and Robert Deniro can make it work, I see no reason why Bette and Sarah shouldn’t be following the same trajectory.  Here’s hoping for another movie celebrating my favorite comedy duo, and I’m crossing my fingers that it will be a franchise. Until then, we have this:

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An anonymous ultra-Orthodox group called the NASI Project has introduced a “game changing Shidduch program” that provides financial incentives for Shadchanim (matchmakers) in order to solve the so-called “Shidduch crisis.”  Claiming that the age gap between eligible male and female Orthodox singles has created a large population of older, single women, this ominously-named group has quite boldly suggested that the way to solve the “Shidduch crisis” is by enticing Shadchanim to spend more time finding matches for this neglected group of older singles.  Of course, it’s important to point out, that according to NASI, “older” means women over the age of 22.  Here’s an excerpt describing the program from Lakewood Local:

“Under the program NASI will create a list of girls 22 and older to be distributed to shadchanim across the United States. If shadchanim are to make a shidduch for any girl on the list they are guaranteed a large sum of money for their work.

For girls aged 22 they will receive $5,000; 23-$6,000; 24-$7,000; 26-$9,000; 28-$11,000; and for any girl 30 and older $13,000.

Girls on the list will be given contact information of all shadchanim participating in the program.

To get on the list a girl or her family sends in the exact amount of shadchanus money correlating to her age plus $500 to cover the costs of the program. All money is guaranteed and is available for return upon request at any time.

When a young woman gets married the money will be given to the shadchan immediately after the wedding.”

Not surprisingly, the announcement was received poorly by NASI’s target audience, and the group has already submitted a muddled explanation of its intentions on Yeshiva World News.  None of NASI’s excuses provide an adequate justification for a program that blatantly establishes a caste system that prices women according to their biological ages.  This action legitimizes the (false) idea that young girls are inherently more desirable than adult women.  NASI would be better off disciplining Shadchanim that perpetuate this myth, and devoting resources to educating Shadchanim and socializing bachelors instead of paying them off.  Publicly articulating ideas that many shortsighted Shadchanim already believe sets a dangerous precedent, one that could result in all single women over 22 in search of a Shidduch having to pay the exorbitant prices set forth by NASI.

How long does it take until the “older” women NASI so desperately hopes to save internalize the idea that they are somehow less valuable than other women?  The project’s good intentions are all but erased when considering its social and economical implications.  There is no doubt that NASI’s solution to the Shidduch crisis goes against the teachings so beloved by Klal Yisroel.

Even worse, NASI’s anonymity deprives potential customers (participants?) the ability to confirm the safety of their payments.  There is no talk of accounting; instead, there is simply a quick promise that all money will be refunded if the woman fails to find a match.  How can a woman’s family trust an anonymous organization that claims to be righteous, yet says outright that “Hashem did not cause” the Shidduch crisis.  Shouldn’t a Chassidishe organization understand that Torah Judaism dictates that everything is caused by Hashem?  And that if Hashem is making something happen, even something horrible, that it is being done for a reason?  Without names and facts to back up this plan, NASI is coming off like a ponzi scheme in the making, not the solution to every single girl’s problems.

Is it a scam?  Is it the end of the Jewish spinster?  Only time will tell, but until then, I can only hope that the community NASI hopes to win over will decide that a few good matches aren’t worth devaluing hundreds, if not thousands, of perfectly wonderful Jewish women.

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Just when I thought there was no hope for my hair, Refinery29 goes and introduces me to Kosher Kurls–an $18 bottle of the “best leave-in conditioner in the world.”  Founder Davida Aprons really goes the distance here, instructing customers to apply a “bisel” and “shmer” it into their hair while it’s still damp.  I mean, there are plenty of hair products out there aimed at different ethnicities, and I suppose it was only a matter of time until someone figured out that Jews tend to have weird hair; however, I haven’t tried Kosher Kurls (feel free to send a bottle my way, Davida) so I’m not sure whether it will work for my finicky curls.  My hair isn’t coarse, but it tends to frizz, so it needs a product with a firm hand, sort of like a good Hebrew school teacher.  Has anyone out there tried Kosher Kurls yet?

They have totes and tanks too, which strikes me as presumptuous for a company having only one product, but maybe it’s just that good.

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Hey Jewcers — I’m filling in for Ms. Carrie this week, so bear with me as we walk through a weekend’s worth of mazals.

Firstly we’ve got to bestow a hefty mazal tov onto Vows couple Sarah Silverman (aka Sarah Aroeste, the Ladino-speaking musician) and her chasson Jeffrey Blaugrund.  The two met online and somehow got from bonding over The Fantasticks and Martin Buber to true love.  The two were married by Rabbi Mordechai Liebling on June 19th at Cat Rock Estate in Garrison, NY.  Guests, of course, drank mojitos, as if there were any other choice.

Next let’s congratulate silver fox Joseph Karn on his marriage to MediaVest executive, Allison Newman.  Mr. Karn is the owner of Advanced Alarm Systems Inc., which I’m sure is very interesting to his media planning kallah.  They are both from New Jersey, so it’s only right that the couple was married in West Orange (pronunciation: aaaah-range) by Rabbi Josh Goldstein, who we’re pretty sure we went to camp with.

Thirdly, we’ve got to mazal Elizabeth Epstein and Jonathan Miller, who met as ninth graders at Ramaz, one of Manhattan’s poshest Orthodox day schools.  They were married by their former principal, Rabbi Haskel Lookstein, who has an awesome name.  They both went to Columbia (shocker), the bride’s father is a lawyer (shocker!) and the groom’s father is–drumroll please–the dean of Ramaz.  Way to avoid detention for PDA, guys.
—

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One half of the duo behind indie PR powerhouse, Big Hassle, Ken Weinstein is more likely to be found camping out at Bonnaroo (also a client) than at Shabbat services, but that doesn’t mean we don’t admire his work! Considering that he works with artists like Robert Plant, Gregg Allman, Kings of Leon, it’s a wonder we haven’t spoken to Ken sooner.  So without further ado:

How did you get into PR?

Kind of an accident. I was doing any old job I could after college, trying to find my way, find something I liked. I was a crazy record collector geek and went to tons of shows. I was sort of naive about it all. I didn’t realize there was an industry behind the music. I never involved myself in that side of things. The business of music wasn’t as exposed then as it is now. At one of my odd jobs I met someone who was a music journalist. I decided I wanted to try it. So I did, writing for various NYC publications. It was 1987. I fell in love with Soul Asylum around then and they were recording “Hang Time” in NYC. They had just signed to A&M Records and their publicist was this rather JEWCY fella named Michael Krumper, now of Missing Piece. He was really nice to me and I never forgot it. A couple of years later, hating my life and my day job I called him out of the blue and asked him how I can do what he did. I wanted to get on the other side of the phone. He said he’d keep his ears open. A PR job opened up at Beggars Banquet/Thirsty Ear, he helped me get an interview there and the rest is history. I got lucky because it was a small company and I learned a ton. I didn’t get chewed up and spit out as an assistant to some ogre somewhere. I got to create my own thing from the get go. I didn’t realize till much later how this was all just pure luck.

You have one of the largest and most diverse rosters of any boutique firm out there, listing clients as renowned as Tom Petty to emerging talents like Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.  You also work with projects like Fela and Rodrigo Y Gabriela, names you wouldn’t find on the rosters of other “indie” firms — do you think anything in particular is responsible for Big Hassle’s ability to build such a colorful, unique list of artists?

When my partner Jim Merlis and I started Big Hassle, we always wanted the company to be as diverse as our record collections. We both have really varied tastes and listen to so many different kinds of music in any given day. I always have been that way. And I usually just don’t like to hear one record when I find something I like. I tend to want to dig deeper, whether into a particular artist’s body of work or a certain genre. I like to study it. So I don’t know everything–far from it. But I can go deep on lots of different kinds of music. I would get bored if I just had to talk about one thing.

To that end, did growing up Jewish expose you to different styles of music from different regions?  A lot of Jews in creative professions often say their parents played them things like Shlomo Carlebach right alongside The Beatles or the Stones, which I think has a big impact on people as they develop their own taste as adults…

Well my mom only played classical music in the house and car. Still does. Hasn’t changed. Even though she was a bobby sockser and loved Frank Sinatra, she found classical and stopped there. My dad is a giant opera buff, but he has more open-minded tastes. Growing up he wanted us to play him what we liked. He didn’t quite get it all, but he tried. He loved The Beatles. The person who really shaped my personal tastes was my brother. He’s 5 years older than me. So when I’m 8, he’s turning me onto Zappa, Black Sabbath, Jethro Tull and Alice Cooper. Also, a few years later, TONS of jazz. He is the one who bought me U2’s Boy and Echo and The Bunnymen’s Crocodiles. It was all over after that. I was off to the races. Not sure being Jewish played into any of this, but the only thing about Hebrew school I liked was music class. I still hum the Hatikva in my head all the time. Probably one of the most beautiful melodies ever written. I don’t know the words though. And I’m always up for a big sing along of one of the big hey hey hey songs the Jews love. What is it called? Mayem? Love that. And who doesn’t love D’ayenu, I ask you?

Do you have any advice for young people trying to break into the music business?

To break into any business or really do anything in life, it sounds so corny, but it’s all about following a passion. And passion can come from anything and anywhere. When you get that feeling, look at it, feel it, own it, admit it and do something about it. As for the more practical answer, at this point in time, intern and turn people in decision-making positions on to how great, cool, tenacious, organized, smart and fun you are. Try different things in the field. It’s good to get a lot of varied experience. Find out what you love and what moves you.  Have faith. You have so much more to offer than you give yourself credit for. They need you. Believe it.

Fantasy clients?

The Who circa 67 – 73, The Clash circa 79 – 81, Elvis Costello circa 77 – 82, Tom Waits circa Rain Dogs, Dylan circa Oh Mercy, Cantor Gershon Sirota circa 1912.

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I’m normally threatened by people that share my first name, but Emily Savage has quickly managed to prove that she deserves the name as much as I do.  Readers of Jewcy may know her as the Photo Editor and columnist for San Francisco’s J. Weekly, but she also regularly contributes culture writing to SF Weekly and is the San Francisco Editor at Poor Taste Mag.  Emily is living the dream–writing about Jews, music and food for a living–and repping for all the Bay Area ladies looking to have their voices heard in print and online.

Emily chronicles most of her work here, but I’ve included some of my favorite selections below:

Emily’s Juke Hunt series for SF Weekly

Cat Art Exhibit ‘Apocalypse Meow’ Excites Feline Desires

It was my boyfriend’s first Seder–but it felt new to me, too

After a fall from grace as queen bee, I found solace in Torah and ska

The Vegan Mystique

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Steph Herold, the founder of IAmDrTiller.com, needs little introduction, especially since we’ve profiled her before.  Still, I had a few things I wanted to ask the web’s most vocal (and sensible!) reproductive rights activist:

As a Jewish reproductive rights activist, do you take comfort in Judaism’s relatively reasonable stance toward abortion?  The Mishnah clearly states that a woman’s life is prioritized over a fetus, and even an Orthodox person would tell you that abortion is considered mandatory if it means saving the mother.  A rabbinic dispensation for an abortion is easily acquired if the situation qualifies as Pikuach Nefesh (saving a life) and the law can be interpreted to include mental anguish as well as physical.  All of this makes Judaism fairly progressive when it comes to the issue of abortion.

To be completely honest, I don’t think about Judaism and abortion very often, and I know that’s a luxury. I have the privilege of not having to wrestle each day with dissonance between my faith and the cause that drives my life. This doesn’t let Judaism off the hook, though. In Israel, to my understanding, if you can’t afford to pay for an abortion with your own money, you have to go before a “termination committee” who has to approve your reasons for having an abortion. It is lucky that women have the option of getting public funding for their procedures (and the termination committee rarely turns someone down), but to have to go in front of a committee and have your reason for an abortion approved is humiliating at best. Wealthy women can bypass this system if they have enough money to pay for an abortion at a private clinic, leaving low income women at the mercy of strangers on a committee. While better than many countries, it’s not progressive by any stretch.

The right’s renewed (and seemingly unending) interest in defunding Planned Parenthood is a constant reminder that the entire organization is misunderstood — that opponents are blind to the other services that PP provides to people in need of good, affordable health care.  Clearly, they need some setting straight.  If you could say one thing to the right (that they would really listen to) about Planned Parenthood, what would it be?

The post The Big Jewcy: Steph Herold – Reproductive Rights Activist appeared first on Jewcy.

You might know Amy Klein from her time in punk smartypants band, Titus Andronicus, where she shreds on guitar and violin.  Or maybe you know her from Brooklyn-based feminist group, Permanent Wave, where she recently helped organize a protest against the acquittal of NYPD’s rape cops.  There’s even a chance you know her because you’re involved with the Willie Mae Rock Camp for Girls, where Amy is a member of their 2011 Think Tank.

Regardless of how you get there, Amy Klein is worth knowing.  She is quickly emerging as a role model for young girls in a time when it feels as if people like Amy no longer exist, and the fact that she’s also Jewish makes it that much sweeter.  Young Israel is telling women they can’t be President of the Board, but it shouldn’t worry you too much, because Amy and her contemporaries (of which there are few) are creating their own groups outside of the conventionally accepted Jewish or cisgendered institutions that are inclusive, self-aware, and more importantly, tuned into the needs of today’s youth.

When we met in person, I tried not to fawn over her, but of course I ended up dwelling on Amy’s stellar 2010 article for Flavorpill where she scolds Rolling Stone for excluding women from rock and roll.  In the process of writing that article, she reveals that it was girls like Liz Phair and Bikini Kill that inspired her as a kid–exactly the kind of role models that seem to be in short supply today.

I asked Amy for her top 5 Jewish lady role models, and this is her list, in no particular order:

Emma Goldman
Susan Sontag
Misc. female relatives
Sara Marcus (another Big Jewcy!)
Anne Frank
Honorable mention: Adrienne Rich
Honorable mention: Mindy Abovitz of Tom Tom Magazine. (Check out our interview with Mindy.)

It’s nice to see such a diverse mix–writers, political activists, poets and drummers–made by someone with such a diverse set of interests.  When I looked for some of the more typical markings of a Jewish upbringing, I found a history more along the lines of what you’d expect from a radical lady like Amy:  she graduated from Secular Humanist Hebrew school, she wants to have Iggy Pop at her Seder and her great-grandfather took piano lessons from “King of Ragtime” Scott Joplin.  Considering that most of us barely got out of Socialist summer camp alive, it’s hard not to be impressed.

Not that I’m surprised–when it comes to Amy Klein, she’s anything but ordinary.  Read her empowering take on rock and roll, gender inequality and most everything else here.

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The world has a crush on author Sara Marcus. I can’t stress how often I hear someone exclaim “Sara Marcus? I LOVE her!” I’m not surprised, considering how well her new book Girls to the Front: The True Story of the Riot Grrrl Revolution (Harper Perennial) has been received. Sara has also written for Slate, The Philadelphia Inquirer, Time Out New York, and a slew of other outlets and literary journals, but right now, all eyes are on Girls to the Front.

Everyone from Vanity Fair to Publishers Weekly has fawned over the book–throwing words like “compelling” and “inspiring” around so hard you’d think they were in on it from the beginning–but maybe that is the appeal: Riot Grrrl is a movement burned into Gen X’s collective consciousness, but so far, only Sara has given the ladies responsible their due with such a tome.

We’re big fans here at Jewcy, but it’s hard to stand out when Sara’s fanbase includes legends like Kim Gordon and Kathleen Hannah. I am too young to have been a real part of Riot Grrrl as it was happening, but Sara’s writing breathes it back to life; she inhabits her pages so fully that after reading it, I could have sworn I was there too. I saw her read from the book recently and she didn’t just recite the words; she screamed, sang, yelped and whispered them. She lived the reading right there on the stage the same way that she lived the history that is so wonderfully documented in Girls to the Front.

With that said, here are a list of historical events or eras that we feel that Sara could really brighten up if she tackles them in her next book: the invention of Comic Sans, the Pax Romana, the history of Corinth post-Turkish conquest, the life and times of the Goo Goo Dolls, the Mamluk Sultanate and the completion of the world’s largest rubber band ball.

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I know this feature is supposed to be a conversation between a mother and a daughter about a treasured family recipe, but my mother is currently out of the country, and neither of us believes that recipes are necessary to cook a good meal.  I’m going to stray from the formula a bit, but bear with me; by the end of this you’ll come out with an imagining of a recipe, an idea of something you’d like to eat and have a good shot at making.

Passover is next week, and I have to tell you, I think Matzoh is disgusting.  During the Seder, I usually squirrel away the pieces I’m supposed to eat under my napkin.  But there is one thing about Passover I look forward to all year: Kiglin.

I have never seen them anywhere else but my house, or heard of anyone else ever eating them, so use your imagination as I describe what could be the perfect Kosher for Passover food: it’s a savory muffin, sort of like a popover, done with Matzoh instead of flour.  You can make Kiglin chunky (with farfel) or smooth (with Matzoh meal) and either way they are delicious.  They make especially fine vehicles for chopped liver, which is much appreciated for the duration of the holiday, especially, if like me, you think Matzoh is better used as a packaging material than a snack. They are dangerous too, because Matzoh expands in your stomach, but since it is disgusting, this usually isn’t an issue for me; however, I can eat several Kiglin in one seating, because they are delicious, which tends to end horribly and brutally and with plenty of antacids.

I think the general path to making decent Kiglin resembles the one for Matzoh balls, except at the end of this process, you plop globs of the yellow batter into a greased muffin tin.  Kiglin are the one thing (maybe in the entire universe) that Google can’t help me with, which brings me to my theory about Kiglin: my grandmother invented them.

You see, in our house, my mother cooked for Passover, but my grandmother (when she was alive), came over early to make Kiglin.  She boiled the water, she dumped in the farfel, she mushed it up, she added some egg yolks and course black pepper, scooped it all into a muffin pan, and then did it again with Matzoh meal.  If Google has no relevant results for “Kiglin,” then I have to assume they exist only in our kitchen.

We eat the staples too–chicken soup, brisket, potato kugel and tsimmes–but the main event, at least for me, is slathering a warm Kiglin with chopped liver and topping it with red onion and a pickle.  And now, when my grandmother isn’t around to make them, and there’s no recipe written guiding us toward these magnificent muffins, it’s up to my mom and I to figure it all out.

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