So I says, "What?" and he repeats himself cause I’m hard of hearing, and then I says, "Ever heard of Nextbook?  or Schocken? C’mon!!  How could George Parmly Day let this happen?  That’s not an original idea.  No sir.  That’s an exact replica of an idea.  I’m gonna give that guy a piece of my mind!"  What follows is the interview I think I did:

Maury Newserman: Hey George, what’s the big idea?  Your publishing operation already has a bunch of Pulitzer Prizes, why are you wasting your time copying ideas?

The Late George Parmly Day: As one of the leading publishers in the world, we see the Jewish population growing rapidly.

You didn’t answer my question.

To be honest, I don’t know.  Seems like a silly idea and a waste of precious non-profit resources during the current recession.  I haven’t seen times this bad since I was 53 years old in 1929.

A ha!  I knew you wouldn’t let this fly!  How would you fix this if you weren’t dead?

Perhaps it would make sense to combine resources – contribute instead of compete.

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• The goyim love Passover.  Feh!  They can have it! 

• The Last Supper was a Seder?  They copy everything from us! 

• The Pope is a schmuck.  I’ve never liked him.  

• I saw Hot Tub Time Machine with my grandson and I loved it.  This schmuck didn’t.  It’s because he’s a schmuck!

• Oy, speaking of schmucks.

• Is Courtney Love the same as an Olsen Twin?  I’m so confused.  She looks just like them!

• Kosher bacteria? 

The post The Monday Jewce appeared first on Jewcy.

• A former Nazi writes a book.  Feh. 

• You know what my St. Patrick’s Day survival kit is?  Prune juice and Golden Girls. 

• I don’t know why all the young men are wearing beards.  I can’t tell them and my crazy religious nephew apart!

• Jews back in Berlin? My grandsons ex-girlfriend (the one with the piercings) moved to Berlin.  She said it’s the "new Brooklyn".  I don’t know what that means. 

• General Grant and Ronald Reagan were both schmucks! 

The post The Daily Jewce appeared first on Jewcy.

• I can’t comment on the way he dresses, how are you going to deny a doctor from a holy event like the megillah reading?

• Heeb Magazine picks the best Jewish movie moments.

• What’s this Chatroulette, and why is Jon Stewart using it? 

• Mark Zuckerberg seems like such a nice boy.  Why would he hack into peoples Facebook accounts?

• Hey!  It’s that beautiful DJ that Jewcy showed me a photo of last week.

• I don’t see why people don’t like Mayor Bloomberg, he’s a nice, rich Jewish boy who’s filled two million potholes. 

• Will Chelsea Clinton have a Jewish wedding?  Do you think Bill would mind it if pork wasn’t on the menu? 

• There might not be any Oscars?  Oy!

The post The Friday Jewce appeared first on Jewcy.

•  This guy at Huffington Post explains to us what Jimi Hendrix has in common with a menorah.

• That nice boy who wrote Save the Deli tips 15 Percent?  What a mensch!  

• I’ve always liked that Sharon Osbourne lady, she seems like she runs a tight ship. 

• Superman, Batman, and a bunch of other superheros that aren’t Superman and Batman.

• "Gypsy rockers", Gogol Bordello, are going on tour.

• Adam Green interviewed at Magnet.

The post The Monday Jewce appeared first on Jewcy.

• The same goes to Leno!  Feh to Leno!  I liked the Irish guy more. 

• I think this is what my grandkids call a "hipster".  If so, find me more hipsters!

• My granddaughter lives in Park Slope.  Should she be worried about raccoons?  

• Harvey Weinstein is right!  Inglourious Basterds is going to win best picture! 

• My grandsons, friends, cousin has a rock band called Vampire Weekend, and they made a music video with this gentleman who is in something called the "Wu-Tang Clan".   Is that a Chineese food delivery union?

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•  While I’m somewhat skeptikal of this iPad thing, one thing I’m even more skeptikal of are biographies.  Most of them are crap!  The usual exception is when I hear Walter Isaacson is writing one.  This authorized one for Apple CEO Steve Jobs is a good example.  After reading Isaacson’s books on Benjamin Franklin and Albert Einstein, I consider myself loyal to the "Isaacson brand" of uncrappy biographies .

• What bad idea does Tori Spelling share with Bob Dylan?  Like Dylan, Spelling has decided to write a childrens book. 

•  Do American Jews smile too much?  I don’t!

•  I remember Vegas in the old days.  Apparently so does this kid. 

• First he disrepects his Jewish heritage by changing his name (I know your secret, Ralph Lifshitz), then Ralph Lauren disrespects America?  A shonde!

• Shabbos in Antarctica?  

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