Arts & Culture

Woody Allen Reads a Pitch for the Best Fake Movie Ever

Instant blockbuster concept features sociopathic mice, Ponzi schemes, a tailor named Abe the Ripper, and a hot blond biologist named April Foxglove Read More

By / May 22, 2012

Woody Allen’s latest Shouts & Murmurs column for the New Yorker details a made-up movie pitch that we’re pretty sure sounds better than a lot of real movies we’ve seen trailers for recently.

From “Not a Creature Was Stirring:”

“Precisely,” Grossnose enthused. “But get this: not all the mice get nuked; just the mean, frustrated ones—the ones that have been run through mazes over and over without ever finding their way to the tasty Gouda. It’s these embittered creatures that absorb the juiced-up isotopes and become super-intelligent, albeit sociopathic.”

Listen to Allen reading it aloud here.

(Photo credit: Elisabetta Villa/Getty Images)