Sure Fyodor, I know I’ve read and loved your books, and there is no doubt you were one of the greatest writers of any language ever to put a pen to paper.  But you didn’t like Jews, and that’s disappointing.

Just like it bummed me out to find a famous French film director wasn’t a fan of my people, I’m equally bummed whenever I walk by the “D” section, see all your books, and think to myself, “That’s my guy Dostoyevsky, it’s just too bad he hates Jews.”

Anyways, today is your birthday, and I hope somewhere in the great beyond that you and Gogol are sitting around speaking to each other in Russian and you’re saying, “You know, I feel really bad about the antisemitic thing.  I know I was a product of the times, but really, the Jews weren’t so bad after all.”

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