George Clooney, you wily prankster. At a gala for the USC Shoah Foundation Institute, there were photo-ops aplenty. But one dream picture—with the faces that make up “If I could have dinner with one person, dead or alive” conversations—was taken. Enjoy and feel free to Photoshop yourself in and share with friends. It’s the kind of lie we support.

(Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty)

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We’re torn, because goop’s ubiquity stems from us loving to hate its groomed, glossy existence and its espousal of a lifestyle that, for pretty much everyone in the world except for Paltrow herself, is not only financially unreasonable but logistically impossible. One can only detox so often.

We do, however, have to give Gwyneth credit for correctly identifying Greenfield’s New Girl character, Schmidt, as “the kind of guy you lusted after at your cousin’s Bar Mitzvah.” And, full disclosure: my gynecologist delivered Gwyneth’s son Moses, which I know because I spent $3.99 on the goop city guide app, but which I haven’t found a way to casually bring up mid-exam.

So does the awesomeness of Greenfield finding yet another medium through which to entertain us outweigh the annoyingness of his Schmidt-like endorsement of goop’s cultural value? Should Greenfield have to contribute to Schmidt’s douchebag jar for this one? You be the judge.

Pro: Of HBO’s Girls, he says, “Lena Dunham is Jewish Punk Rock.”

Con: He uses the word ‘trousers.’

Pro: He makes a strong argument for throws (“a throw is not to be confused with a blanket”), particularly the Jonathan Adler variety.

Con: He’s guest editing a Goop newsletter.

Pro: He’s really cute about his daughter.

Con: He panders to Clooney.

Pro: He asks the real questions: “How am I supposed to be ‘Ready for Summer’ when I was never ‘Ready for Spring’?”

Con: He might wear high neck sweaters. What would Schmidt say?

Pro: He and I have the same tortoise shell iPhone cover, which redeems his potential collaborative misstep and basically makes us best friends.

Previously: Network Jews: Schmidt from ‘New Girl’

(Photo credit: Imeh Akpanudosen/Getty Images)

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