Rosh Hashanah is over, and it’s time to start acting on your new year’s resolutions. Although you might have decided to stop smoking under the heady influence of too much honey and/or red wine, the time has come to put down your final cigarette, throw out the pack, and start afresh. Of course, as we all know, this is easier said than done. How will you survive the next few weeks? My suggestion: Since every second you are not smoking will feel like a thousand years anyhow, why not look back through the ages for some Jewish motivation? Below are some reasons to quit smoking that draw on our Jewish heritage.

1. Feel close to the suffering of your forefathers. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are all about feeling the sting of sacrifice; as you sit in a semi-catatonic state and contemplate which of your fingers would be most painful to gnaw off (and therefore most distracting from the nicotine cravings), imagine what our forefather Isaac must have felt, about to be sacrificed like a goat. Then imagine you are the goat. See? Life could be worse!

2. Finally be able to sit through a holiday meal. At long last, you will be able to sit from gefilte fish to rugelach, without taking a suspiciously long “bathroom break” in the middle of an interminable holiday meal. However, even quitting smoking does not guarantee that you will be able to sit through another one of your Uncle Morris’ tirades on politics without feeling restless and irritable.

3. Save money. Yes, this plays into a lot of Jewish stereotypes, but our wandering people have certainly required fiscal responsibility to ensure that they would get through the tough times (and there have been a lot of tough times). Protect your wallet like a true member of the Chosen People. Plus, the money you save on cigarettes can buy a lot of kosher pizza and prayer books and things!

4. One less thing to make Yom Kippur torturous. ‘Nuff said.

5. You will no longer smell. Throughout Jewish history, anti-Semites have claimed that Jews smell; one Medieval writer even cautioned that you can “identify the Jew by his reek of garlic,” according to the Wikipedia page on anti-Semitism. While stopping smoking will have no effect on your garlic consumption (and in fact might increase it due to the compensatory munchies), you will no longer make strangers’ noses wrinkle up on the subway, or announce your entrance with an overwhelming stench of smoke.

6. Things will become slightly less awkward with your relatives. At family shivas, for example, your aunts and uncles will no longer glare at you and mutter, “You’ll be next if you keep smoking!” Your mother will stop worrying about your habit, although she will probably find other things to worry about (have you considered announcing your intent to stop smoking at your wedding? Oh, you’re not getting married this year? Why not?)

7. You will suddenly have new reasons to pray. Informal, meditative prayers are a great way to get through the ordeal of quitting smoking; plus, your interior monologue will already sound pretty close to the Book of Job at this point anyhow (“Dear God, help me get through this day without murdering anyone in cold blood.”) (“Dear God, was nicotine another one of your cruel jokes, like this pounding headache?”). When your prayers become indistinguishable from kvetching, rest assured that this is also a Jewish art, one that it definitely serves your interests to perfect. If you are considering joining a minyan to help break up your suddenly smoke-free days, remember to brush up on your pronunciation; it is “shema,” not “shemarlboro,” Yisrael; likewise, “camelluyah” is not the opening to any of the psukei d’zimra.

8. Food will taste and smell better. The Jewish culinary tradition is as vast and wide-ranging as our peripatetic history. Blast your newly sensitive taste buds with some Teimani jachnun or kibbeh, or stick close to Eastern European comfort food like cholent, and the ubiquitous chicken soup. Bonuses of cholent: if you eat enough of it, you will still be emitting clouds of gas like you did when you smoked!

9. Increase your lung capacity. While this is a general health benefit, it will also increase your ability to do all kinds of Jewish things, like blowing shofar (it’s well known that heavy smokers can produce only like three seconds of a tekiah gedola, which hardly counts) and, later on in the year, saying the names of all the sons of Haman in one breath.

10. Better your odds of living to 120. 120 is the age Moses lived to according to the Bible, and “may you live to 120” has been a traditional Jewish blessing ever since. While it’s a long shot for any of us, stopping smoking will certainly increase your chances of arriving at this august milestone; plus, you will live longer in general, and don’t you want to live long enough to spoil/guilt/annoy/smother/dandle/embarrass/tell stories to your many bouncing Jewish grandchildren?

(Image via Shutterstock)

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When people hear I grew up in Deal, N.J., I’m often met with shock: “You don’t look Syrian.” It’s true, I’m about as Syrian as Albert Einstein (after all, we both have roots in Germany and the same hair style in the morning). While I may not be Syrian, like anyone who’s spent a chunk of their childhood in Deal, I know what a good kibbeh tastes like.

Kibbeh, sambusak (the Middle Eastern answer to a calzone), and lachmagine (a sweet Middle Eastern meat pizza) earned their own food group in Deal. They’re like tiny heart attacks that fit in the palm of your hand and make your whole body quiver with delight. One bite and you’re sinking your teeth through the crisp bulgur based dough and into the delicious ground beef hidden inside. As a friend to kibbeh-eating professionals, I even knew the secret of squeezing a bit of lemon juice to throw the flavors over the top.

A legendary cookbook from my old hometown, Aromas of Allepo by Poopa Dwek, describes the classic Syrian dish as a good way to judge a cook’s true culinary skills. Poopa writes that the women of Aleppo were known throughout the Middle East for their kibbeh-making prowess and hostesses would be judged by their nimble and mystical “kibbeh finger,” which showed their ability to create the perfect meat-filled torpedo.

The thing is, the kibbeh I just described is good, but despite the intense amount of work put into them, they aren’t great. The flavor of most kibbehs are pretty simplistic and have difficulty overcoming the taste of the oil they’re fried in. Worse, most kibbeh come from your local supermarket. Pale as albino ghosts (remember, we’re not actually Syrian), when my family served kibbeh we didn’t have a bubbe to call for the recipe; instead, we headed for the frozen food aisle. Those kibbehs, tightly wrapped and lovingly made by a machine, were like dog food wrapped in thick dough. A glorified corn dog, shove a stick in it and people might walk around Coney Island munching on them. Instead of taking you and your taste buds for ride, it makes you want to tug on someone’s sleeve and ask when you’re leaving. Most people end up serving these tasteless frozen kibbehs and many don’t know what they are supposed to taste like.

This recipe is nothing like store bought kibbeh—for one thing, its flavor profile belongs in the Far East not the Middle East. Instead of wrapping up some bland meat in simplistic dough seasoned by a deep freeze, I ramped up the meat’s flavor and covered it in sushi rice. In this recipe you don’t taste oil, you taste the wonders of Japanese cuisine. For a nice twist, I coated it in panko breadcrumbs so you get the ever-so-yummy crunch that fresh kibbeh is known for.

There are really three elements to the dish, the rice, the meat, and the dipping sauce. They balance themselves out, so don’t skip any part of them. Agemono means fried foods in Japanese and there is no lack of them. This fresh take on kibbeh is based on Japanese cuisine as it flirts with the heavily fried classic Syrian dish. Creating this delicacy is no small feat and is a bit of work, but you won’t have any difficulty making them disappear.

Not Your Bubbe’s Kibbeh
Makes about 30

Ingredients:

Rice:
2 cups of sushi rice
2 cups of water
2 1/2 tbsp lemon juice
2 1/2 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt

Filling:
1 lb ground beef
3 tbsp soy sauce
1/4 cup cilantro, diced
1/4 scallions, diced
1/2 tbsp ginger
Salt and pepper to taste

Coating:
3 eggs
Panko bread crumbs
Ginger
Oil

Sauce:
3/4 cup sake
3/4 cup soy sauce
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup lemon juice
3/4 tbsp ginger
1 1/2 tbsp corn flour

Equipment

3 medium bowls
1 large bowl
1 frying pan
1 large Pyrex

Directions:

1. Boil 2 cups of water over a medium high heat.

2. Add the rice and cover it, allowing it to cook for 20 minutes.

3. Once it’s cooked, let it sit off the flame with its cover for 10 minutes. Once the rice is cool, toss it with the rest of the rice ingredients.

4. While you wait for your rice to cool, combine the filling ingredients in a large bowl.

5. Now start working on forming your kibbeh agemono. Fill one bowl with water, this water will help prevent the sticky sushi rice from staying on your hand. Fill a second bowl with your eggs and beat them. In a third bowl, place 1/2 tbsp of ginger with a cup of panko breadcrumbs. You will need to refill your breadcrumbs bowl, and when you do, be sure to keep the ginger to panko bread crumbs ratio. I recommend setting up your bowls in a row in order to keep things neat.

6. Make a train of bowls. Start with the water, then the rice, the meat filling, eggs, and then the breadcrumb mixture. This way you will have an easier and quicker process when shaping your kibbeh agemono.

7. Dip your hands into the bowl of water.

8. Cover the palm of your hand and part of your fingers with a flat and cohesive layer of rice. It should almost look like your hand is covered with a carpet of sushi rice.

9. In the middle of your rice, place a small ball of your filling.

10. Close your hand, as if you are making a fist. By doing so, you should be covering the filling with rice. You may need to pinch the ends slightly. Squeeze the kibbeh slightly to make sure it’s secure.

11. Dip your freshly shaped kibbeh into the eggs, and then coat it generously in Panko bread crumbs. Set each kibbeh aside until you are done making all your kibbeh.

12. Repeat these last few steps until you run out of filling or rice. Make sure to always stick your hands in the water because if you don’t, your sushi rice will stick to you and not the meat. Don’t worry if the first few look a bit sloppy, there’s a small learning curve with these. You need to find a way that’s comfortable for you to operate in order for them to be shaped nicely.

13. Fill a large frying pan with oil over a medium high heat.

14. Once the oil is hot, fry your kibbeh until they are golden brown on each side.

15. While you wait for the oil to heal, cover a Pyrex with paper towels. These will soak up some of the unnecessary oil.

16. Next, make your dipping sauce: Start by heating a medium saucepan over a medium heat. Place all of the sauce’s ingredients into the pan except for the corn flour.

17. Gradually whisk the corn flour into the sauce. Be sure to do this carefully in order to prevent it from clumping together. Continue to whisk the sauce until it simmers and thickens, which should take about ten minutes.

18. Serve the sauce and kibbeh hot, and watch people happily burn their tongues on them.

Also try:

Not Your Bubbe’s Borscht Salad

Not Your Bubbe’s Deconstructed Baba Ghanoush

Not Your Bubbe’s Pistachio Mandel Bread

The post Not Your Bubbe’s Recipe: Kibbeh Agemono appeared first on Jewcy.