Let’s cut right to the chase, like a group of athletic men running after one another, risking permanent brain damage— last night’s sports-ball game (Piggers are gonna go all the way this year!) had undeniably Jewish moments or elements. Enough for a (relatively) unforced list of five:

1. Obviously, Julian Edelman: the wide receiver for the Patriots (who won last night) is on the official list of the greatest Jewish football players of all time. It was kind of a kick (pun most definitely not intended— does he even kick the ball?) hearing announcers keep saying a name that you would expect in your summer camp roll call.
2. Both team owners: Robert Kraft has been a bit of an embarrassment this year; the well-known Jewish philanthropist has also been a Trump supporter; it was a factor in the controversy of the Patriots playing (and winning) last night. But Arthur Blank, the owner of the Falcons, is a Member of the Tribe as well; he grew up in an observant family in Queens. He’s also a Democrat, so maybe the owners’ conflicting politics counter the uncomfortable risk of it seeming like Jews are secretly running the NFL.
3. The commercials— If you kept your eyes open, you could spot both men in kippot and a mezuzah in two different ads (Coke and Google, respectively). Plus, Gal Gadot (soon to be Wonder Woman) kicked ass in an ad for Wix.com (well, you’ve heard of it now).
4. Lady Gaga— OK, she’s not Jewish, she’s Italian-American Catholic. But she certainly brought “New York values” to the halftime show (Woody Guthrie + and LGBT anthem in Texas = New York infiltration, my friends).
5. It was Super bowl LI— This means Roman numeral 51, but I have at least one friend whose mother thought it meant “Super Bowl Long Island.”Once again guys, it was in Texas.

I’m looking forward to next year, when Barbra Streisand can do the halftime show, the ads will be for Kars 4 Kids, and Sandy Koufax will somehow be a player, despite his age and the fact that he’s retired from a different sport.

Image via Wikimedia

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Lady Gaga has released a short video greeting for Israeli fans in advance of her Tel Aviv concert. “Shalom, this is Lady Gaga,” is her sensational greeting. “I’m so excited to perform my new tour in Tel Aviv. I’ll see you soon Israel! September 13th.”

http://youtu.be/4kI8Ms4i8SE

OK, so the nine-second clip isn’t notable for anything, really—except the mini-internet firestorm that erupted after its release. Arab fans expressed their disappointment, “labeling her as ‘disgusting and devilish’ and having ‘no sensitivities'” in light of the recent conflict in Gaza, Al Arabiya reports. (It’s now standard for international performers to be pressured to boycott Israel once they announce tour dates with stops in Tel Aviv.) Gaga did not respond to the allegations.

The conflict in Gaza led several big name acts to cancel summer gigs in Israel, including Neil Young, Lana Del Ray, and the Backstreet Boys.

With Gaga’s concert going ahead as scheduled, we have two pressing questions:

1) Will someone vomit on her on stage again?

2) Will she reprise her leather studded Star of David jacket from her first visit to Israel in 2009?

We’ll have the answers for you next week.

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Gird your loins, Israel: Lady Gaga is coming.

Last week, Israeli TV show “Good Evening with Guy Pines” announced that the mega-star would perform at Tel Aviv’s Yarkon Park on September 13, as part of her ARTPOP tour. Gaga confirmed it herself on Friday with this exuberantly illustrated tweet:

Lady Gaga will bring the ARTPOP Ball Tour to the Middle East with the first date in Tel Aviv (Israel) on September 13 pic.twitter.com/gSGDOp7cgH

— Lady Gaga (@ladygagaloo) February 21, 2014

This will be Lady Gaga’s second performance in Israel. When she first visited in 2009, she “felt so much love” that she wore a studded Star of David leather jacket to her press conference (and then again in Heathrow Airport—sans pants, natch).

Other big acts set to tour Israel in 2014: the Pixies, Soundgarden, and (TBC) the Rolling Stones.

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Billy Joel to play monthly concerts at New York City’s Madison Square Garden

If there’s one universal truth, it’s that even a little Billy Joel is too much Billy Joel. It seems, however, that New York City disagrees. The balladeer has signed a deal to play monthly (!) concerts at Madison Square Garden for “as long as the audience demands.” To be clear, if you didn’t get enough Billy Joel at the January concert, you can pay real dollar bills to hear him play again in February, March, and April. The New York Daily News reports:

The Garden must anticipate the demand will be great since they simultaneously announced Tuesday that Joel will become their first ever musical “franchise.” That appointment turns Joel into the Garden’s fourth pillar, equal to its three sports teams: the Knicks, The Rangers and the Liberty.

Disconcertingly, the first four dates are already sold out. Under the florescent lights, thousands will sing the “Piano Man” and Walt Frazier’s retired jersey will cover its figurative ears.

In other concert news, Lady Gaga will play Israel in summer 2014. And, in 2014, Billy Joel will probably still be playing concerts in MSG.

(Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty)

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• The first Hebrew translation of 50 Shades of Grey sold out in one day.

• The upcoming High Holidays are the perfect time to teach your kids how to apologize, Marjorie Ingall says.

• Look, it’s Clueless’ Jeremy Sisto playing Jack in a Titanic screen test. Wait, what?

• Performing in London, Lady Gaga dedicated her new morbid tune, “Princess Die,” to Princess Diana and Amy Winehouse.

• Mark Zuckerberg acknowledged that Facebook stock has been a disappointment so far. We’re not mad, Zuck, just disappointed.

• Watch Claire Danes talk about Season 2 of Homeland, and filming for two weeks in Tel Aviv. “I really love Israel,” she says.

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Have you ever read a Christian comic known as a Chick tract?  Those things are so incredibly creepy that they’re actually fascinating.  Stories about people burning in hell because they were gamblers, Catholics, whoremongers, and murders that tend to spare nobody except the purest Christian types.  They’re a bit nicer to Jews.  The cleverly titled, “Love The Jewish People,” is actually one of the most positive of all tracts, trying to make the point that every country that treated the Jews poorly, ended up screwed in the end.

If Chick tracts are at all brilliant, it is all due to the pure camp factor.  Whether or not the little comic books have lured anybody over to Team Jesus, I’m not sure, but another proselytizing group that could sure use a lesson in interesting propaganda is Jews for Jesus. I’ve seen their English pamphlets (they have them in Russian, Hebrew, and supposedly Yiddish as well), and frankly, they’re really stupid.

Case in point, the latest Lady Gaga “Born This Way,” some man in a pink t-shirt handed me as I got on a subway the other day.  Jews for Jesus have decided to use the woman who is arguably one of the most important cultural figures of the time, and, well, create a really shitty pamphlet.

Seriously Jews for Jesus, whoever you have coming up with these ideas should be fired.  Most of the Jewish world thinks you’re all nuts, so at least be original about it.

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