Death, then deluge: I couldn’t stop thinking about this while reading cartoonist Roz Chast‘s new memoir, Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant? An intense, humorous, and frequently painful exercise in catharsis, it closely documents the decline and eventual deaths of Chast’s elderly parents—and it’s not pretty. As any dutiful daughter knows, you are definitely not allowed to write about your parents until they are no longer of this world. And if you have siblings, probably not even then. Chast, however, is an only child, and she here she presents a loving but unsparing examination of her parents, and herself.

The story is told through a combination of comics, handwritten pages, photos, and sketches. Chast’s style is harried, and drawings rarely seem drafted, perfectly channeling both the anxiety of living the events described, and the urgency of wanting to record all of it. The photos show up unexpectedly, and to great effect. Pages describing her hoarding parents’ apartment are followed by stark images of rooms filled with piles of browning and greying stuff, the decrepitude highlighted by the flash-photograph.

Visually, comics can get you to a place that feels, somehow, closer to the truth. People who draw their experiences are attempting to document everything as precisely as possible: this is what was said; this is what everyone was wearing; this is what the weather was like on that day. Chast is deeply observant, and a natural storyteller, and the flood of emotion and memory has a remarkable flow. Several comics (and some truly amazing photos of a young, grumpy, cat-eye bespectacled Chast), serve as flashbacks to her childhood, and these stories aren’t merely anecdotal. With the author now caring for her parents, every incident mentioned takes on a new layer of meaning.

Chast has made her name writing jokes on the themes of worry and disappointment, so it’s no surprise that even the funny parts are quite dark. Bizarre Alzheimer’s moments make for amusing stories, as do strange and horrifying incidents at the aged care facility her parents move to. When her mother insists that her (long-deceased) mother-in-law is trying to poison her, or another resident falls off her chair during mealtime, nobody is dismayed. Laughing is coping, because what else can you do? It’s an informative insight into the origin of Chast’s style, and her general philosophy.

Examined more than anything is the author’s relationship with her mother, a stubborn and often unfriendly woman whose New York home ran on fear–of the outside world, money, death, and disease. Mrs. Chast is equally stubborn in dying; she exists suspended between life and death for an extended period of time, and here, more than anywhere else, the trauma of Chast’s unhappy childhood revisits her. She seeks closure and answers, but rarely looks to her mother for comfort; alas, she has never been its source. The painful resolve in wanting to be a better mother than her own is evident here. She worked hard to leave and change, but here she is, back where it all started. These are the things you cannot escape, and this is what they look like.

Waiting with her newly-deceased mother, Chast writes “I didn’t know what do, so I drew her.” A sketch follows. Pages of similar sketches follow; simple pen drawings of her mother’s comatose, slack-jawed face, drawn in the days leading up to her passing. These are not comics. They are dated drawings documenting precisely what the author was looking at: a dying, elderly woman. Death, as usual, demands to be looked at in the eye. Chast tells us that her parents’ “cremains” live in her closet. They are together, they are quiet, and finally, she can contain them. So: death, then deluge, but then maybe peace.

Esther C. Werdiger writes, makes comics, illustrates, podcasts, and lives in New York. You can read her “League of Ordinary Ladies” series here.

The post In Cartoonist Roz Chast’s Memoir of Aging Parents, Laughing is Coping appeared first on Jewcy.

Forget Natalie Portman, a generation of Jewish boys first infatuation with a Jewish woman–after their mother, of course–was in the form of a precocious teenager named Blossom in the 1990s.

For all those wondering what Mayim Bialik is doing these days–and also for those still waiting for her to return fan mail–look no further than Kveller.com, where Bialik is regular contributor to the popular Jewish parenting blog.

Some things we’ve learned about Mayim through her posting:

• She breastfeeds her kid, and doesn’t care what you think about it.

• She doesn’t like scary stuff, but she likes to drink sake.

• She married a Mormon that she played racquetball with.  We really think that would make a fantastic sitcom that we’d watch every week.

On a side note, Jewcy’s editor-in-chief asked me to find a constructive way to say “make sure to mention that we aren’t doing this to play favorites, and to get Mayim to hang out at the Jewcy office so a certain editor-in-chief can do his Joey Lawrence impression.”

Done and done!

The post Jewcy’s Favorite Parent Blogger Of 2010: Mayim Bialik appeared first on Jewcy.

Welcome to the first in our ongoing series of profiles on Jews in the media, Controlling The Media 101.  Our first profile, is Deborah Kolben, a professional parent and professional writer who is combining the two to bring one of the best Jewish parenting sites on the internet, Kveller.com.

Anybody who has ever held a new baby, a new kitten, even a new turtle, has undeniably experienced what it means to kvell. The feeling of glowing, swelling, bursting with pride; your heart expanding so much you think it might just explode.

Writer, editor, and relatively new mom, Deborah Kolben is a professional kveller. “I have a pretty darn cute 1-year-old who calls everything ‘aba’ or ‘ball.’” In addition to watching her baby grow, Deborah is also watching her new site, Kveller.com, blossom into one of the most popular Jewish parenting websites out there.

A project of MyJewishLearning.com, Deborah runs Kveller, a site that not only acts as an instruction manual for your baby, but also caters to Jews by helping them find Jewish baby names, mohels, and classic Jewish children’s books. And, no Jewish website being complete without mentioning food, “We have recipes galore, everything from the classics (chopped liver) to new takes on classics (Parsnip-Sweet Potato Latkes).”

Following the trend of MyJewishLearning.com, Kveller is nondenominational, and seeks to cater to all Jews. “I imagine that a good chunk of our readers will be moms in their 20s to 40s”, says Deborah, “But I do want to get a lot of dads to come to our site. And grandparents! We’re non-denominational and hope to appeal to queer and straight families.”

“There is no one way to parent Jewishly”, their mission statement reads, “and we are not about to change that. Whether you grew up observing Shabbat every Friday night, or had your first taste of matzo ball soup when you married into a Jewish family, the ways you can incorporate Judaism and Jewish culture into your parenting style are diverse.” To demonstrate their commitment to that diversity, Kveller has literally everything a Jewish/Interfaith/Queer/Out of the box family could hope for.

The site is divided up into several sections: pregnancy (where you can get information about anything from adoption to baby showers), baby and toddler (from circumcision to breastfeeding), preschool (from music and books to schools and rituals), and parents (from interfaith families to how to find balance between work and parenting).  The extensive site also has a very comprehensive Jewish Baby Name finder, with thousands of names. Overwhelmed by the amount of choices? Kveller has a Name of the Day that might speak to you. Recipes, crafts, and books galore fill the site, so you and your child will never have a bored or hungry moment.

Still not done kvelling? Hit up the blog, Raising Kvell, where there are close to 200 articles on parenting, Jewish celebrity gossip, traditions, holidays, etc, all written by new and seasoned parents wanting to share the light of their experiences.

Starting out as a reporter in Southern Brooklyn, Deborah Kolben later worked for the Daily News, became the City Editor of the New York Sun, and was later hired as the managing editor of Village Voice. “After that I ran away to Germany with my husband for a year and a half, got pregnant, returned to NYC, had a baby, and now here I am”, she said.

“We have local community pages for New York with lists of interesting events, local Jewish preschools, fun Jew(ish) excursions, etc”, said Kolben, and as the site grows, she hopes event listings will be extended to other cities.

Deborah Kolben isn’t just another Jew in the media; she runs an extremely comprehensive and fun site that is a true indulgence for everyone’s inner kveller.

The post Controlling The Media 101: Deborah Kolben Of Kveller.com appeared first on Jewcy.