This weekend’s New York Times Sunday Book Review included an interview with Joan Rivers, in which we learn that the 79-year-old Jewish comedian is an avid reader and knows her way around European History. She is also as sharp as ever, taking shots at Anna Wintour, Leo Tolstoy, and of course, herself.

Here are Rivers’ five best quotes, entirely context free, from the interview:

1. “The other book is The Idiot’s Guide to Osteoporosis. I don’t read this one too often, as every time I pick it up my wrist snaps.”

2. “And let’s not forget Sacha Baron Cohen’s The Dictator, which is based on the Anna Wintour biography.”

3. “The funniest in person but rather boring on the page is, hands down, Leo Tolstoy. If I hear one more time: ‘How many czars does it take to change a light bulb? None; they didn’t have them in those days,’ I think I’ll scream!”

4. “The writer I would love to meet the most is God. I’ve been a huge fan of his work since the Ten Commandments. I’d like to know what influenced his font choice and why he engraved in stone and not silver.”

5. “What’s the one book you wish someone else would write?”

“Stephen Hawking Explains Both the Universe and Bad Fashion Choices.”

Previously: Happy 79th Birthday, Joan Rivers

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