Keep calm and buy bourbon—because it’s going to be a scarce commodity soon, according to Esquire. Apparently we’re buying whiskey faster than suppliers can produce it, which makes sense when you consider the fact that single-malt scotch and bourbon have become stratospherically popular in recent years (thank you, hipsters!), but can take over a decade to produce.

Jason Sheehan of Philadelphia Magazine explains:

See, whiskey—good whiskey—is kind of like the ultimate slow food. It takes years to produce the aged stuff, and even though whiskey distillers are generally pretty good about being able to see into the future and match supply to demand, what none of them saw coming 10 years ago when today’s aged whiskey was first being put to bed was the massive spike in whiskey drinking occurring today. As just one example, the folks at Buffalo Trace note that while bourbon overall is seeing a 5% growth rate (a nice, manageable number with current stock levels), the thirst for premium brands (of which Buffalo Trace is but one) is up something on the order of 20%. Which would’ve been great if, 10 years ago, someone had gone around to all the whiskey producers and told them that they really ought to up their production and storage by 20% to compensate for some mystical time when every hipster worth his mustache and tiny hat would be drinking Redbreast and Pappy like water.

Alas, the explosion of whiskey bars in Brooklyn couldn’t have been foreseen. And in addition to supply and demand issues, there’s a shortage of bourbon barrels in the Unites States thanks to climate change (winters are longer and harsher, which is affecting the growth of American oak trees), so distilleries don’t have the means the keep up with production, even if they have the spirits ready to go.

What does this mean for consumers? Stock up now to ensure your future l’chaims.

Image: Shutterstock

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Purim is one of those goodies in the book promoting something fun like indulging and reclining or keeping all the lights off and pleasing wifey on the hebdomadaire, or–this time, wholesome roleplay! Not a pagan holiday like Halloween, dressing for the ho-down to get Merv the Perv all hot and sweaty is good by ma, and if you’re going at the evening with libations so potent you risk hooking up with another raver, well, that’s even better by the tribe. So lose yourself in your too-short Esther garb with more timely bevs:

Drinks for a Purim Rave

Esther’s a Silvester

This cross-dressing drink will make you see rainbows. Technicolor Jell-O Shots plus your Purim poison of choice. Cans of whipped cream set up for the daring and you’ve got yourself an evening.

But if you don’t dig hoof, I’m sure an alternativerecipe uses none of it if you can figure it out.

Haman’s Nuts

If you’re lost on what to do with the tub of Nutella in your cupboard that you’re not eating, get that baby on a double boiler and dilute your bottle of Grand Marnier.

For the rest of us, here’s what you need to shake and serve on ice:

1 shot Chocolate liqueur

1 shot Hazelnut liqueur

½ shot Grand Marnier

2 cherries

Mordechai’s Wire Whiskey

This is a night to celebrate. It’s the good Jewish boy’s version of a lucky hustler on a binge. Say it with me: tonight’s the night. Break out the good stuff. If you can’t get yourself on a plane to Chicago’s Delilah’s, stock your place with their specials–because a whiskey good enough for a cheap bastard on a St. Paddy’s rampage in Lincoln Park is good enough for this party. Do it all weekend.

Daily Specials

Friday: Maker’s Mark

Saturday: Four Roses

Sunday: Benchmark

Ahashverous’s Insomnia

We might have to admit to that tinge of sad when a limit on the Kinsey scale of American drinking habits was found in 4Loco, formerly sold next to the Franzia. So practice your freedoms if you’re a good American and have a nice legal time.

(Sugarfree) Redbull

Pomegranate 5 Hour Energy

Flask of vodka

Pocket the ingredients, unless you’re rockin a Camelback. Conducive to staying on the go, even the busiest of bodies can celebrate as the king of his oyster.

Build-Your-Own-Grogger

Grogger? Just another word for beerbong. If you build it, they will come. So get the party started and pour all that valuable homebrew down the drain.

1 funnel

1 meter rubber tubing

Tape

Skillz

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