Sob. Adam Brody, my erstwhile television boyfriend, is married. IRL! To Leighton Meester!

In case you were living under a rock/in elementary school in the early 2000s, Adam Brody as Seth Cohen was the best thing on TV for years. YEARS. He was also my television boyfriend when I was far too old to have a television boyfriend, BUT NO MATTER. (Now that I’m thirty I have a television husband: Jon Stewart.)

Because the wedding was secret, I’ve no tidbits to share about dresses/vows/famous guests. In lieu of gifts—or anything that actually happened in real life—here are compilations of Seth and Blair’s finest moments:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Q8GPgn4lCg

Mazal tov, guys!

The post Seth Cohen and Blair Waldorf Are Married! appeared first on Jewcy.

I think we can all admit that Fox’s New Girl hasn’t been all that funny this season. Sure, it was cool when Schmidt recited the Shema, but that was weeks ago. If you were considering bailing on the show altogether, reconsider, because Adam Brody is on his way, hopefully bringing with him some much needed comic relief. TV Line reports:

In an episode slated to shoot next week (and air in early 2014), Brody will play Berkley, a long-ago ex-boyfriend of Jess’ (Zooey Deschanel) who’s now a married stay-at-home dad. He’s open with his feelings and prides himself on having mastered the art of being an ex, which is probably why he and Jess (allegedly) remained the best of friends after their breakup.

This New Year’s Eve, when you’re quite obviously not enjoying your night, think of Brody and how he’s going to breathe Seth Cohen life back into a sitcom you once enjoyed.

Until then, watch a very depressed (and less entertaining) Schmidt get hit by Jess’ car:

Previous: Schmidt Goes Overboard With Jewiness on ‘New Girl’

The post Adam Brody Will Be On ‘New Girl’ in 2014 appeared first on Jewcy.

It’s a joyous day for Adam Brody and Leighton Meester—the television heartthrobs brought to you by Josh Schwartz are engaged! Now, while it’s exciting and beautiful and lovely that the couple found each other, it’s also, embarrassingly, a bit sad to see Brody off the market.

If you came up loving Seth Cohen, Brody’s character on The O.C., you probably feel similarly. Cohen was the show’s obvious star. While Ryan Atwood (Ben McKenzie) was meant to be the strong, hunky male lead, it was Cohen who stole our hearts with his comic book collecting and his Death Cab For Cutie posters. He was emotional, charming, and, if the show had any semblance of real life, he’d likely have been “popular” in high school—looks run that world, and Cohen had the goods.

But, it’s not healthy or sane to long for heartthrobs past. Mazel tov, you guys! May your children too be blessed with onscreen facial symmetry.

And, let’s hope the proposal was as cute as this:

The post Adam Brody and Leighton Meester are Engaged appeared first on Jewcy.

In middle school, when the sweaty, dreamy boys on the JV basketball team made a list of the prettiest girls in the grade, there were only, like, five names listed on that college-ruled paper. When you learned that your name didn’t make the cut (it turns out seventh grade boys aren’t impressed by your weekend spent reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, whatever), tears and self-deprecation ensued, but, alas, you found other strengths (See: journaling, napping).

So when I saw BuzzFeed’s latest list, “The Official Ranking of the 51 Hottest Jewish Men in Hollywood,” the list-loser in me was borderline befuddled. 51? That seems way too large a set. Now, I know, I know, attraction is confusing, selective, and strange (I thought Jack Black was the ideal man for the majority of my pre-teens). But this list builder, Lauren Yapalater, essentially concocted a roster of every Jewish actor in Hollywood.

Scott Caan, Steven Weber: really? Mandy Patinkin on the same list as Adam (and, for that matter, Adrien) Brody? This Yapalater lady doth protest too much, methinks. She may as well have thrown Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofski—aka Krusty the Clown—into the mix.

BuzzFeed is silly. It’s mostly visited for its juvenile lists colored with GIFs and semi-witted 140 character blurbs easy to share with all your virtual friends. And I can get down with that business model. But, c’mon, have some backbone. As a website that creates and distributes lists, make actual lists. If not, the world of ranking loses all its credence. Narrow that list down, girl.

The Official Ranking Of The 51 Hottest Jewish Men In Hollywood [BuzzFeed]

The post BuzzFeed Lists Every Jewish Actor in Hollywood in Most Confusing List Ever appeared first on Jewcy.

Seth Cohen was one of the first times I noticed “indie” being represented in the mainstream. Get in line Zooey Deschanel, because Seth invented adorkable, and the idea of taking something that seemed cool in its own right and packaging it for the masses. I guess if the show had stayed good past the first couple of seasons, and Adam Brody had gone on to bigger and better things, this wouldn’t seem so bad, but given how things turned out, I feel weird about it. I felt weird rewatching the pilot and realizing that Seth, who present-day me would place on the autism spectrum, was so specifically engineered to appeal to teenage me. But that’s Gen Y for you. Before the recession sidelined our economic prospects, we were the first tweens, a new market research category identified for the spending power we wielded. It was nice to matter.

So in the boom days of 2003, here was this 90210-esque redux designed to appeal to teenagers and their lowest-common-denominator taste, and yet like a Trojan horse Josh Schwartz snuck in Seth, talking about graphic novels and Magic: The Gathering and Death Cab for Cutie. The people who beat up Seth shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch or Hollister, but someone like Seth got his clothes at PacSun (being as he was alternative, but not so alternative that he would have worn Hot Topic gothwear). That they were all stores found in every American mall escaped our notice.

A key aspect of Seth’s alternativeness was that, unlike his water polo-playing, debutante ball-curtseying classmates, he was Jewish. Even though, strictly speaking, he so wasn’t. His father Sandy (Peter Gallagher) was a member of the tribe, but his mother Kirsten (Kelly Rowan) was a WASP, and it’s the mother’s religion that determines the child’s. However, Seth did occasionally refer to his bar mitzvah, so until Talmudic scholars pass down a verdict, we’ll have to consider Seth one of those territorial half-Jews who not only sees himself as an heir to the Jewish comedic tradition of wise-cracking, but also wants it to be known that there are core differences between him and Mischa Barton’s Marissa Cooper. The Jewish dad factor was convenient in that it allowed other characters (namely, shiksa goddess Summer, played by Rachel Bilson) to refer to Seth by his last name, Cohen, a little reminder every time they spoke to him that he was a Jewy Jewersonfeld.

On TV when we have a half-Jew, we round up. We focus on the –ukkuh part of Chrismukkah, the hybrid holiday that Seth popularized (as Kirsten said, “We didn’t really know how to raise Seth”), and ignore the fact that Seth thought Moses was the hero of it. Whenever his adopted brother Ryan Atwood (Ben McKenzie) does something particularly at odds with his punch-first, ask-questions-later Chino roots, we smile at Seth’s implication that Ryan’s embracing a kinder, gentler, Jewish-er way: “You just got your butt kicked and you didn’t even fight back. Dude, you really are a Cohen.”

Of course, it’s only through teen soap opera magic, and forcing him to stand next to people like Chris Carmack, that Adam Brody would pass for a skinny, nebbishy geek (this same magic allowed textbook Black Irish Peter Gallagher to stand in for an all-purpose ethnic). Seth may have lacked the muscles that accessorized Ryan’s wife-beaters, but scrawny he wasn’t. The “Jewfro” he rocked was hardly as unruly as Timberlake’s in its prime. He was cute, undeniably so, and he got all the best lines on the show. Were teenage girls suddenly interested in the video games and indie bands Seth Cohen espoused? Sometimes, but mostly they were interested in Adam Brody. What if getting us all to fall in love with Seth was a subliminal message from B’nai B’rith International, a way to get a generation of Jewish girls to give their male Hebrew school classmates another look? It would have been a pretty successful campaign. Even girls who skipped Birthright still hold out the hope of finding their Seth Cohen.

Previously on Network Jews:

Hesh Rabkin, Jewish Loan Shark on The Sopranos

Eli Gold, The Good Wife’s Political Operator

Howard Wolowitz, the nerdy, sex-obsessed engineer on The Big Bang Theory

Heather Schwedel is a writer and editor who is still waiting for her super sweet bat mitzvah.

The post Network Jews: Seth Cohen, The O.C.’s Lovable Dork appeared first on Jewcy.