Capricorn (Dec. 21–Jan 20): Krich nit tsu hoich, vestu nit darfen falen: Don’t climb too high and you won’t have to fall.


Hebrews named Capricorn “the slain kid,” which refers to the blood of the lamb sacrificed during the Passover story, saving firstborns from slaughter. Capricorn was also known as Azazel, the scapegoat from Leviticus.



Capricorn, a cardinal earth sign, shows a great deal of initiative: you want to control your environment rather than have it control you. Although you are earth-bound, you are more concerned with your own state of mind—which is largely ambitious, but also idealistic to the point of neurotic—than with the outside world.  

While Capricornis generally thought of to be ruled by the goat, you are actually ruled by a goat-fish (a goat with a fish tail!). Although your goat side is always climbing toward the top of the mountain, you also take refuge in the waters of consciousness (this is associated with the Greek god Pan, who took refuge in a river by turning his lower half into a fish). Finding a balance between caution and passion allows you to flip the script on those who have you pinned one way or the other.  If you lean toward the goat-side, try to handle others—and yourself!—with kid gloves. 



There are three different levels of Capricorn:  practical, earthly and sensual, and confused by depth of desires—why you may often fail to express your true feelings, concealing them under your practicality and work ethic. Striving to be industrious and persevering, calm and diligent and determined, your concern with status makes you almost puritanical in your discipline. Largely conservative, you are the consummate professional—shveyr arbiter (hard worker)—not exposing your feelings, and patiently waiting for the results of your hard work and ambitions. 



The New Moon in your sign on January 11 gives an opportunity to put something in motion—perhaps one of your long-awaited ambitions will come to fruition if you put your nose to the grindstone. Mercury also shifts into your sign on December 31, where it will stay until January 18. You can really get into your pragmatic thinking and express your true self. With Mars in Aquarius starting December 25, take more initiative in a leadership role. Venus in Sagittarius, meanwhile, gives you a chance to really take a look at your love life, giving you more freedom to solidify your true self and what you want out of love.  


Famous Capricorn Jews: J.D. Salinger, Jason Segel, Bebe Neuwirth, Sandy Koufax, Hank Greenberg, Simon Wiesenthal, Howard Stern, Shari Lewis, Andy Kaufman, Helena Rubenstein, Heidi Fleiss, Phil Spector, Harry Shearer, Soupy Sales, Diane Von Furstenberg, Vidal Sassoon, Laura Schlessinger, Susan Sontag, Stan Lee, Isaac Asimov (unknown, but celebrated on Jan.2)



AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21-FEBRUARY 20): You may be dreaming of a better reality, but try to relax and let the fates do their thing. Vos vet zein, vet zein: what will be, will be! While you Aquarians tend to be emotionally detached, you can harness these cosmic energies to give yourself over to something greater than yourself.  

PISCES (FEBRUARY 21-MARCH 20): You’ve been selling yourself short for far too long, and your neshama may be a bit worse for wear. Forces are at work to get you the recognition you deserve, and perhaps a much-needed boost in your finances. Sweet Pisces often want to help others—but before you do that, you must help yourself. 
 
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20): With your ruling planet Mars in innovative and philanthropic Aquarius, you may find yourself spending time with new people and in situations that call for your special brand of bravado. If you can look at your life from the outside, you’ll see that you can deal with your ongoing issues while giving attention to the rest of the world.

TAURUS (APRIL 21- MAY 20): Life keeps teaching you the lesson that time can alter everything: di tseit ken alts ibermachen. As much as you’ve been burning both ends of the candle for what seems like ages, you must continue to assert yourself. Doing what’s right for you, rather than what others think is the right thing for you, gives you the courage of your convictions.

GEMINI (MAY 21- JUNE 20): Kolboynik (rascally know-it-all) Geminis have a knack for finding convenient excuses and explanations for everything. With your ruling planet moving into Capricorn around January 8, you may become more focused on money matters, favoring independence and practicality over flights of fancy.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 20): With the full moon in your sign on December 28, you will be more inclined to pay attention to details that may have previously gone unnoticed. Because this particular full moon has some stressful energies attached to it, you may feel even more like secluding yourself in your shell. If you can find a way to make your home cozy while getting yourself out into the world, you may be in for a surprise or two.

LEO (JULY 21-AUGUST 20): Ven nit di shein, volt kain shoten nit geven: If not for the light, there would be no shadow. Leos have the potential to light up a room with your good vibes, and the upcoming full moon energy is perfect for empathizing with others. Understanding other people and what they’re all about can help you relate to yourself with more clarity of purpose.

VIRGO (AUGUST 21-SEPTEMBER 20): Be good to yourselves this month, dear Virgos. You may hold dear to your balobotishe (respectable, well-mannered) reputation, but embracing your creativity and individuality does not mean letting go of your cred. Your ruling planet Venus will be in Sagittarius for the first part of the new year, giving you the freedom to explore what makes you truly healthy, wealthy and wise.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 21-OCTOBER 20): Libras sometimes get a bad rap for being a Jack-of-all trades, master of none (Fil meloches, vainik broches). This month, you may be feeling insecure about your indecision, and tendency to flit from one interest to another. Deep feelings may be heading your way, and holding on to a something stable may help you to decide what is most important to you. 


SCORPIO (OCTOBER 21-NOVEMBER 20): To you secretive Scorpios, information is power, and power is maintained by keeping that information to yourself. Who do you think you’re fooling? Listening to your heart will give you a sense of what you really want out of life, love and career.  You can be true to yourself without giving the rest of us shpilkes. 


SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21–Dec. 20): If you feel your confidence has been given a once over from all of the planets traveling through your sign in the past month, keep in mind that you fire signs have a lot your corner to ensure you remain true to your echt (authentic) self. You’ve got a lot of room to maneuver, and if anyone gives you a hard time for your freedom-urges, they probably weren’t worth having around to begin with.

What’s Your Sign?
Sagittarius, the Adventurous Archer (Nov. 21 – Dec. 20)
Stinging Scorpio (October 21-November 20)
Lovely, Lawful Libra (September 21-October 20)
Virgo, the Anxious Maiden (August 21-September 20)
Leo, King of the Jungle (July 21 – August 20)

(Art by Margarita Korol)

The post Jewcy Horoscopes: Capricorn, the Cardinal Earth Sign (Dec. 21–Jan 20) appeared first on Jewcy.

It is, one has to assume, no accident that Lilith Sternin (Bebe Neuwirth) of Frasier (and Cheers) is named after the biblical Adam’s mythological first wife, known in legend as a demonic, child-killing woman. Frasier Crane’s ex-wife may not snatch newborns, but she’s hardly easy to love.

Like Frasier, Lilith is a psychiatrist; an exceptionally smart woman given to a distant, highly intellectualized, unemotional way of interacting that often has her branded an ice queen by members of the Crane family. She is the image of consummate uptightness: Her hair always in a perfect bun, her wardrobe a treasure trove of pantyhose and sensible, darkly colored suits. Frasier consistently refers to her domineering ways. In one episode, he snorts, “If I had trouble taking orders from a woman, Frederick would never have been conceived.”

Even when it comes to her child, where Jewish women are generally thought of as exuding warmth and caring to a smothering degree, Lilith expresses love in unusual ways. In one episode, Frasier and Lilith become consumed with getting young Frederick into an exclusive prep school. After an initial visit at the headmaster’s house, Frasier and Lilith return repeatedly to try to butter up the fussy teacher—in one ruse, Lilith pretends to have left behind an earring given to her by Golda Meir. Meanwhile, Frederick, under the care of his grandfather and uncle, gets hit in the face with a baseball, breaks out in hives from eating anchovies, and walks into the refrigerator door. In her zeal to secure Frederick’s academic future, Lilith, the Jewish mother meant to tend to her son’s every hangnail and skinned knee, doesn’t notice his shiner and rash.

But underneath the cold, calculated, emotionless exterior runs some hot blood. Lilith is also, it turns out, a bit of a temptress. In one episode, after Lilith’s new husband has left her, she visits Seattle to turn to Frasier for emotional support. Frasier is anxious—in times of distress, he has trouble resisting Lilith, a weakness exacerbated by the short red dress Lilith turns up in. “Oh, baby,” he moans sadly when he answers the door, resigned to the certainty of his giving in to his attraction.

Despite her sexiness, Lilith retains some essential Lilithness—she greets Frasier’s brother, Niles, in a characteristically blunt way: “I’m sorry to hear your marriage ended in a shambles.” And yet, the next morning, Niles wakes up in bed with Lilith, cursing her “bewitching” ways.

So Lilith—both siren and schoolmarm—encompasses the opposing ideas that have long been the hallmarks of Jewish femininity: that Jewish women are either frigid or floozies, uptight in bed or else quite the opposite. Jewish women have long been associated with a conniving sort of sexuality; from Ivanhoe on, literature is filled with Jewesses who use their wiles to get their ways. But in a post-World War II world populated with literary characters like the prudish-but-trying-to-get-over-it Marjorie Morningstar, Jewish women became withholding shrews. It’s the attitude that led Anthony Weiner to famously exclaim last year, in what must win the honor for most romantic text message of all time, “Wow, a Jewish girl who sucks [word for penis that my mother would not approve of]! This thing is ready to do damage.”

Lilith isn’t exactly doing much to dispel the stereotypes. Vacillating between repellently repressed and bewitchingly seductive, she has it both ways, but doesn’t win any fans. Her reputation precedes her; when Frasier mentions that she is in town, Niles deadpans, “Oh, so that explains why blood was pouring from all my faucets this morning”—but still sleeps with her in the same episode. Lilith is destined to exist in the in-between world of beguiling and repugnant, in which she has both the power to tempt and the power to terrify. But Lilith might be playing the stereotypes to her advantage: Either way, she’s got the power.

Previously on Network Jews:

Neal Schweiber, the 14-year-old crotchety ventriloquist on Freaks & Geeks

George Bluth Sr., the erstwhile Jew and patriarch of Arrested Development

Fran Fine, the nasal-voiced star of The Nanny

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