Fans have been a bit anxious about this final season of Big Love, concerned that, with so many new emerging plot lines, the writers are simply going to ignore the long lasting questions that have plagued fans since earlier seasons.  It seems that the writing of this final season, as well has the fans’ reaction to it, has been quite similar to the final season of Lost, in which the show’s writers attempted to introduce wholly new plot lines in order to wrap up old ones.  Lets explore the major conflicts that were visited in this week’s episode and see how they might help to inform the show in its entirety.

Lois and Frank

The Itchy and Scratchy like relationship between Lois and Frank is nothing new.  Since the show’s inception we’ve known of this tumultuous relationship, only at first glance, it seemed like a truly grave situation.  The introduction of Lois’s dementia may have seemed like a new plot line, but now, coupled with Frank’s busted hip, we learn that it’s merely a way of showing the bigger picture of their marriage.  Now that we see how their end looks, we get a better understanding of what Lois and Frank might have looked like in the beginning.

Cara Lynn Hot for Teacher

This one might be brand new.  Hell Cara Lynn was only introduced last season, but that doesn’t mean it won’t prove to somehow inform the show in a bigger way.  This week, Cara Lynn’s relationship with her teacher settled into seriousness and during the wedding reception, Margene finally caught on.  The concern in Margene finding out is that she might make it her business to put a stop to it as a way of dealing with her regret over marrying Bill so young.  Other than that, this relationship simply illustrates the general Utah weirdness we’ve been seeing all season.  When they all went out at the theater and Nikki thought the she was the object of the teacher’s affection, it was major dramatic irony, but totally realistic in this crazy Mormon world we’ve come to know.

Alby and the Compound

One of the most memorable scenes from this week’s episode was the shot of the compound when Bill and Nikki first drove in.  The snow covered grounds of the compound riddled with children brandishing shovels, and smashing TV sets to pieces.  “Something bad is happening,” Says Nikki, speaking as somebody who knows.  Later Adeline tells Nikki that Alby’s banished all TV’s and phones because the kids have discovered “Something called sexting.”

Meanwhile, Alby is busy buying up Bill’s Home Plus property in order to put him out of business and at the same time playing tiddlywinks with his new boy toy in his office.  Of course, Alby’s madness is nothing new, but neither is the Henrickson/Grant war, in fact, it’s a part of the very fabric of the show.  The great legend of Big Love is that Roman Grant probably murdered Bill’s grandfather in order to become profit.  Now, Bill and Alby are going to war.  Since the beginning of the show, viewers have wondered if the series will end with Bill as the new profit of Juniper Creek.  Suddenly, it seems very possible.  The question is: Will Bill turn into an only slightly more benevolent Roman Grant?

The Marriage

This is it, what Big Love is all about.  The entire show has been about this unorthodox marriage and how such a non-modern relationship works in the modern world.  Barb’s struggles with the way women are oppressed within her culture is a new way to splice modernity into the 3-way marriage.  This week, Nikki is married to Bill, but Barb refuses to be re-sealed to Bill, Nikki and Margene, despite their wishes.  Interestingly, as a result of Barb’s feminist awakening, she’s put in the position to reject her sister wives, “sister” being the operative word. The main theme of this season has been all about wondering what the marriage will look like at the end of the show.  This week, I put it to you that Margene, Barb and Nikki will stay sealed, however, Barb and Bill, will no longer be sealed.  How does that work?  I’m sure Big Love will be glad to show us.   Since the beginning, Bill has, to and extent been a non-entity.

Other questions this week included the Ben-Rhonda-Heather love triangle, Carl and Pam’s troubled marriage and the FBI probe on Bill for marrying a 16-year-old Marge.  All of which will no doubt, will be the means to some mind-blowing end.  Also, did you know that Mormons call non-Mormons “gentiles?”

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This week, we can officially add Big Love to the list of things, along with pizza and sex that are good even when they’re bad. Truly, an hour of the worst moments in Big Love series history, strung together into a single episode, would still be far more enjoyable than the best episode of Burn Notice.  Here’s what worked, and what didn’t’.

What Didn’t Work

Margene is only Sixteen: This week, the whole, “Margene was only 16 when she married Bill” thing, felt a little stagnant.  The storyline itself isn’t stagnant but it seems the writers haven’t fleshed out the characters feelings about it.  Is Bill upset because he now feels like all of the Polygamist cult leaders he’s claimed to hate or does he really think she might be damaged goods?

Bill’s Dream: Mr. Olsen and Mr Scheffer, lets be very clear about this, you are not the creators of The Soprano’s.  The Sop’s is the only modern show that’s been able to pull off the whole dream sequence thing.  In this is episode, Bill’s dream of his mother with Emma Smith (wife of Joseph Smith), while aesthetically beautiful, lacked the depth and potential analysis needed for a successful television dream sequence.

Mr Henrickson Goes to Washington: This was the big political moment that they’ve been working up to all season, and it just felt like the end of Legally Blonde or some politically slanted rom-com.  Every moment spent of politics feels like valuable final season time wasted.

Best of the Worst: The moment where Bill and the other senator “feel each other’s guns” and compliment each other on their weight and girth, was one of the best homoerotic television moments in some time.

What Worked

Multi Level Marketing: Margene selling Goji Blast to all her housewife friends has been comical and true to life, but this week, she’s begun to believe that her spirituality is somehow wrapped up in multi level marketing.  This feels like a critique on pyramid marketing; also self help culture and the way people use religion to hawk their wares.

Poor Lois: Lois Henrickson played Grace Zabriskie has had perhaps more memorable actor moments than any other secondary Big Love character, and this actress truly deserves an Emmy for her work.  In this final season, she starts losing herself to dementia, and this week we learn that the dementia was caused by un-treated herpes given to her by Frank.  Watching her, leaning her forehead against the Henrickson’s picket fence out in the cold saying, “It was all a waste, I’m filthy,” was one of the most heartbreaking moments on the show thus far.

Ben and Heather: Ben and Heather kiss this week.  But, just beforehand we are reminded that, in earlier seasons, there was very good reason to believe that Heather was a lesbian in love with Sarah.  Is she making out with Ben as some misguided way to channel that love?

Help Me Rhonda: The best part of this episode, hands down, was the surprising return of Rhonda Volmer, played by Daveigh Chase — also known as the scary girl from The Ring. Turns out, Rhonda got off the bus that Bill put her on and turned tricks in Vegas until she met Cara Lynn’s cousin and married him.  Each scene that involved Rhonda this week was among the best, but, at the top of heap was the attempted shakedown of Albert Grant.

This Week’s Best Line: “We may not be Catholics but we’re one up on the Scientologists…according to what I’ve read.” –Barb

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It’s pretty standard for the networks to use all their heavy artillery during the Fall/early Winter months, and start throwing their b-team up after the new year.  But the TV battlefield has drastically changed, forcing network to stay on their game year-round.

Here’s why you’ve still reasons to yearn for that couch and put off finishing one of those big Jewish books for another day.

Big Love’s Final Act

For those who’ve never tuned in to Big Love because the premise didn’t seem like enough of a lure, you’ve missed out on one of the best shows on television.  Whether or not polygamy fascinates you, Big Love is worth watching more for the incredibly elaborate and fleshed out world that creators Mark Olsen and Will Scheffer have established within the show.  More interesting than polygamy in Big Love is the corruption that exists within the small splinter religion that most of the show’s characters belong to, corruption that mirrors many real life religious splinter groups.  Also, as we’ve said on Jewcy before, Big Love’s ensemble includes some of the most talented actors working on TV.  In fact, right now there’s only one other TV program that rivals Big Love in that regard, Breaking Bad, which doesn’t begin until July.  The subject TV show finales has been highly scrutinized in recent years, the finale’s of Six Feet Under, The Sopranos and The Wire have all made rather indelible marks, so it will be interesting to see if Big Love manages to do the same.  Lets just hope they find a new theme song/credits sequence or switch back to the old one.

The Return of TV’s New Best Comedy?

When Parks and Recreation began, it was perceived with almost universal ambivalence.  At that point, almost the entire TV watching world had fallen in love with Amy Poehler and Human Giant fans were psyched that Aziz Ansari had a new vehicle.  But the show seemed like a poor spin off of The Office, and for a couple of episodes, it was.  Then, during Parks and Recreation’s Season 1 finale, everything clicked into place and people decided that the show at least deserved a second season.  Ever since, Parks and Recreation has been hitting a no, delivering a pitch perfect season of deadpan comedy while maintaining enough drama for us to care about the characters.  Aziz and Aubrey Plaza have continued to shine outside of the show, which will either help or hinder this next season and now with the addition of Party Down star, Adam Scott to the cast, the show is rife with heavy hitters. If they manage to keep up the momentum, Community will have a rival for TV’s best new comedy.

More Gratuitous Sex!

Ever have that moment where you’re watching a show  and it dawns on you what it is that you’re watching?  For instance, you’re in the middle of an episode of Entourage, watching the gang gorilla step their way into some fancy party and you realize, “This is just one big fantasy for assholes!”

I’d assume that by now, most people have figured out that Californication is exactly like Entourage in that regard, a fantasy, a mode for viewers to live vicariously through the show’s protagonist, only for dads.  Hank Moody with his survived hairline, shades and cool older guy boot shoes, can miraculously have sex with anybody without having to express his desires at all, it’s sort of like dreaming of owning a La-Z-Boy that turns into a toilet.  The show has become a veritable live action version of Maxim Magazine, showcasing every gorgeous young new Hollywood actress — most notably, the unforgettable Madeline Zima. As soon as we see an attractive woman on Californication, we know that she’ll soon be having sex with Hank. There’s got to be a drinking game here.

TV Crack

Generally, reality TV can be characterized as a guilty pleasure, but there is a certain brand of reality TV, a kind that makes no bones about what it is, so self-acceptingly gratuitous and miserable, that it can only be described as TV Crack.  Two of the year’s best batches of TV Crack are still to come.  Jersey Shore: a show that most people hate on principle, but some like because they don’t know any better and a select few enjoy because of it’s almost John Waters over-top-ness, started last night and will keep us warm and tan through months of cold Thursdays to come.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is another of the awful, yet self aware reality shows, but this particular installment is special because of what we know is about to happen.  Camille is one of the housewives who, as the season begins, happens to be married to and completely enveloped by the life of Kelsey Grammar (you remember, tossed salads and scrambled eggs!)  However, in a bit a dramatic irony, we the viewer know that the couple splits during the course of the show, when Camille finds out that her husband has what Tony Soprano would call, a “goumar.”

Perhaps the best example of TV Crack is Oxygen’s Bad Girls Club, a show that puts both The Sopranos and Jerry Springer to shame with its gratuitous violence.  The brainchild of The Read World co creator, Jonathan Murray, this show is so self aware in how blatant it is, how lacking in any kind of theme or redeeming value it is, that it’s unrelentingly brilliant.  Bad Girls Club is merely a bunch of emotionally unstable women in a house, period.  Best of all, during the reunion shows, host Perez Hilton reserves the right to douse the girls with water or Silly String if they get out of line.  Think of it this way, if you’re going to rot your brain, don’t be half-assed about it.

More Excuses to Make a Mess

Top Chef can be either fantastic, or dreck, depending on the season, the theme and the characters/contestants.  This season, Top Chef All Stars gives us chefs who almost won in past seasons of the show, making for some of the hungriest and most talented competitors thus far.  My pick for the show’s winner: Chef Richard Blais.

On the other end of the dial, Chopped continues to flourish as “the cooking show that could.”  The network behind Chopped isn’t quite as big and the challenger and competition isn’t as elaborate, but Chopped manages to put out a show that’s as entertaining, if not more so than Top Chef, by keeping it simple, and by casting interesting and quirky contestants to battle it out.  Just remember, both shows have better kitchens than you do, and people who get paid to clean up the mess.

Lastly, Storage Wars is a new show based on one of the most fascinating recent episodes of This American Life, which followed around people who buy neglected storage units.  It turns out that if you miss three months of rent, they sell your stuff, and there are people who make a hobby out of buying it up.  A lot of them get junk, stuff soaked in urine or gnawed at by rats, but some manage to nab new naked photo’s of Parris Hilton or abandoned cars.  Just remember, if you find your garage packed in a few months with stuff you bought at storage auctions, there’s a show A&E that might help you, it’s called Hoarders.

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