Chelsea Handler told us she was keeping her shirt on in Israel.

She lied.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can’t live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And, You don’t even have to be topless. L’chaim

Une photo publiée par Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) le 28 Janv. 2015 à 15h27 PST

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Brace yourself, Israel: Chelsea Handler is in you. The Jewish comedienne posted a photo of herself at Jaffa’s Summit Garden (“Gan HaPisga”) on Monday afternoon, Jerusalem time. “Homelanding in my homeland. With my jugs in my jacket,” she wrote, ending the post with an emphatic “RESPECT” hashtag.

Handler was indeed modestly and mysteriously attired, wearing sunglasses and a scarf in an homage to Homeland protagonist Carrie Mathison. (Regarding those “jugs”: In October 2014, she posted a photo of herself shirtless astride a horse—à la Putin—to Instagram, to protest the app’s censoring of women’s bodies. (And the Russian president’s douchiness, natch.) The caption read, “Anything a man can do, a woman has the right to do better. #kremlin.” Studies show it was the most epic and brilliant feminist troll of all time.)

According to YNet, Handler is in Israel “for a private visit” and to “participate in a fundraiser for the Tal Center for Integrative Oncology at the Sheba Medical Center,” which is located just outside Tel Aviv.

In 2013, the comedienne explored her family’s connection to Nazi Germany on the TLC program Who Do You Think You Are? Though her father is Jewish and she was raised in the Jewish faith, her mother’s parents were Germans who emigrated to the U.S. after World War II. Her grandfather had served in the German army, ultimately ending up in Montana as a POW.

“Whether or not he agreed with Hitler, he was serving in the German army, and then he was taken as a prisoner of war to America where he stayed for several years,” Handler said on the show. “My German grandma definitely spoke about her life during the war way more than my grandfather did. He never spoke about it.”

(Image: Instagram)

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AdWeek interviewed Dylan Lauren, daughter of Ralph Lauren and namesake of Dylan’s Candy Bar, and in addition to learning that she reads her horoscope out of her neighbor’s copy of the New York Post and is a Chelsea Handler devotee, we discover that the 39-year-old is so hooked on her BlackBerry, she wrote her entire book on it. While using something called a StairMill:

I love the BlackBerry. I’m on it all the time. I literally wrote my whole book, Unwrap Your Sweet Life, on the BlackBerry while I was working out on the StairMill. So many people tease me about having a BlackBerry, but I meet a lot of people who still use one. Obama has a BlackBerry!

Obama may have a BlackBerry, but does he have a StairMill? Should we have a StairMill?

(Photo credit: Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images for Glamour)

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Everyone loves a redhead, especially a red-headed comedian. Brad Wollack is an Emmy nominated writer, producer, and comedian who hails from San Francisco, CA. You can usually find him being taunted by Chelsea Handler on one of E!’s best shows, Chelsea Lately (in competition only with Keeping up with the Kardashians) for his red hair and tendency to kvetch. Besides being a regular on the show’s roundtable, he also serves as a co-executive producer and writer on the show.

I talked to him about Lil’ Bow Wow, his wife, and how his red hair has helped him become a well rounded individual.

Your interest in television production came before your interest in comedy. When did you realize you realize you were funny and that you wanted to pursue comedy?

Well you’re assuming I think I’m funny now. I honestly think I’m going to be found out any minute. That’s the true nature of everybody in comedy, writing standup or whatever. You’re not that funny but you can fake it for long enough. I guess I was always a funny kid. I liked to perform and make people laugh. I never thought I’d pursue it as a career until I was graduating college and I had many ideas about what I could do in life. I liked being silly. I did work for the TV station in college and I did a few professional things as well. Then I was working in comedy and someone told me to do stand-up, so that worked out for a bit. It just built and built—if someone would have told me years ago I would have been a stand-up comedian I wouldn’t have believed it.

How has your red hair played a role in your work?

Well I think that goes back to the issue of performing when I was young. My red hair was always an attention-getter. People would frequently come up to me to touch my hair and chat. I think it’s also made me really comfortable with people, which makes it easier to be on stage. It kind of became a trademark for me. Especially when I started with Chelsea Lately; I had this massive curly Jew-fro and it became my hallmark. Chelsea told everyone in America they should think I’m ugly because of it, and it took off. And then two weeks ago I shaved my head in defiance. Some people think I look a lot better and some people think I should bring my Jew curls back. Physically I think I look better but it was kind of my signature thing, so…

You can always grow it out and shave it again.

I can. My big fear was that I didn’t think people would find me funny anymore. It was kind of like Samson; it was my strength. But yeah, I can always grow it back.

How is preparing for the Chelsea Lately different than preparing for After Lately as far as the writers’ room process?

Chelsea Lately is a daily show so we go in every morning and it’s a blank slate. We have to get everything ready by 3:30 p.m. to tape for that night. It’s a crunch time thing. We prepare and put a show together but a lot of it is a last minute creation. Fortunately we’ve done about 1,100 episodes now and we have a rhythm. Nothing is scripted other than “here are some jokes if you want to use them, Chelsea.”

After Lately is a different process. It’s a scripted show so we spend many months in the writers’ room crafting stories and creating an outline. It’s scripted in a way similar to Curb Your Enthusiasm.

How does your wife feel about being referenced in some of your jokes?

She’s gotten better with it. She’s realized its kind of a necessity, but she doesn’t completely love the fact everything about our life is fair game (although, she does enjoy the nice lifestyle). I also think my honesty is what’s so appealing to the people at home watching. All the comedians on Chelsea Lately are really honest about they are and what they do. There’s something relatable about that. Of course, if my wife asks me not to say something I wont. But I’ll likely let Chelsea know and then Chelsea will mention it…

So then it’s not your fault, completely!

Right, it’s all fair game! You can’t tell Chelsea anything and expect it to be kept a secret.

How old is your son?

Spencer is a little over a year and half.

I saw your BET interview and thought it was very funny. Do you enjoy rap music?

I do. We were in London and we ended up at a club and somehow ended up at the table of Lil’ Bow Wow. Well, now he goes by Bow Wow—it’s a lot more mature than Lil Bow Wow. I was texting my wife, ‘You will not believe where I am right now.’ I like whatever’s popular; for all I know, Bruno Mars is a rapper.

I’m a huge U2, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, and REM fan. I think I was supposed to stop progressing after the 1980s. I’m kind of an old man in that respect. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love hip-hop. I love hip-hop. I don’t want your readers to think ‘Oh what a fucking loser.’ I was poppin’ bottles in the club with Bow Wow.

Sounds fun. Were you ever bar-mitzvahed? What was your theme?

I sure was! The theme was sports!

How typical.

I know! There’s a girl in my office whose brother’s gay and I think the most telling sign was that his theme was Broadway musicals. Mine was sports, particularly basketball.

What’s your relationship with Judaism?

I’m culturally Jewish. I enjoy a great corned beef sandwich but that’s basically where it stops. I am a huge Chinese food fan, especially on Christmas.

Same. Is your wife Jewish?

No, she’s a shiksa! She’s pretty good looking. And our son looks like the perfect Aryan. Hitler would be very proud of our son.

I’m sure. Who are some comedians you look up to?

Its funny, growing up there wasn’t anyone who I truly loved. My earliest exposure to stand up was actually my dad showing me the first Ellen DeGeneres HBO special. I was also a huge fan of The Naked Gun. Leslie Nielsen was just brilliant.

Nowadays I love Ricky Gervais. The characters he’s had and his stand-up is hilarious. I’ve been a fan of Louis C.K. for a while. He is so smart and conversational in his stand-up. It’s so right on. But my biggest stand up idol, the first one I was like ‘Oh my god,’ was Dave Attell.

In the Spotlight: Katy Hirschfeld, The Austin Artist Behind Collage Garage
Loren Wohl, Borscht Belt-Bred Music Photographer
Ari Brand: Actor, Musician, Summer Camp Alum
Haim: Three Jewish Sisters Who Rock
Alex Karpovsky: Actor, Writer, Director, and Producer

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Oif a meisseh fregt men kain kasheh nit: Don’t ask questions about fairy tales.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 21-MARCH 20): Pisces, symbolized by two fish swimming in opposite directions, exemplifies the dual nature of this mutable water sign. One fish swims toward the spiritual—the world of the dream, the unconscious mind—while the other fish swims toward the material world.

Fish-themed Judaic tales include Jonah and the whale and the Leviathan. In 6 B.C., a Jupiter-Saturn conjunction in Pisces even gave Jewish astrologers hope for a messiah.
 
Perhaps the most romantic and certainly the most intuitive of all the signs of the zodiac, you can be weak-willed in matters of the heart. Wise, sage givers of good advice, you are sensitive to beauty and can be overwhelmed by the feelings of others. Your heightened psychic awareness gives you a keen ability to suffer with others—this combined with your patience and listening skills makes you an excellent therapist and friend, but can have the ill effect of distancing you from your own life and feelings. With an innate receptiveness to everything that’s going on around you, it can be hard to see where others end and you begin.

While Passover begins on the day of the first full moon after the vernal equinox (the cusp between Pisces and Aries), Purim (February 23-24) is in many ways associated with Pisces—the Hebrew month of Adar corresponds with Pisces, and Purim itself has many fish themes.

The new moon on March 11 will be in Pisces; on this day there will be six heavenly bodies in your sign: Mercury, Mars, Venus, your ruling planet, Neptune, and the moon as well as the sun. With so many planets in Pisces, you’ll have the world at your feet (Pisces rules the feet)—lucky you!

Famous Pisces Jews: Gilbert Gottfried, Samm Levine, Bugsy Siegel, Rob Reiner, Carl Reiner, Ron Jeremy, Albert Einstein, Lou Reed, Billy Crystal, David Cronenberg, Jerry Lewis, Philip Roth, Yitzhak Rabin, Shalom Alecheim, Rashi, Renee Taylor, Elizabeth Taylor (converted), Joe Lieberman, Zeppo Marx, Kurt Weill, Ira Glass, Harry Winston, Diane Arbus, Rashida Jones, Judith Butler, Chelsea Handler.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20): “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” was once the catchall phrase to explain the eternal debate—but hey, the 1990s called, and they want their dichotomy back: Mars and Venus are two faces of the same coin. Your ruling planet Mars returns to your sign on March 11, where it will stay until April 20, while Venus enters your sign on the spring equinox, balancing out aggressive Mars with its lovely light and helping you roll with the punches.

TAURUS (APRIL 21-MAY 20): Your ruling planet Venus will be in compassionate Pisces from February 25 to March 21, inspiring you with dreams of a grand romance. But don’t tempt the gods—zindik nit—focus what you need to do for yourself first before succumbing to the gantseh tsimmes (big confusion) that love can bring. Only you can take control of your life, and outside forces often serve as distractions from doing what you need to do.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): Gemini shiksa goddess Marilyn Monroe said, “it is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not,” and you should take her message to heart. Effusive Geminis are rarely unlovable, but your mazik (troublemaker) tendencies may make you seem like a stranger in a strange land if you fight against them. With your ruling planet Mercury in retrograde until March 17 and in dreamy Pisces until April 13, you will be compelled to confront your spiritual side—which you may have been willfully ignoring for fear of losing yourself. 

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 20): Gossiping is the worst habit and the biggest calumny—Loshen horeh iz di ergsteh mideh un gresteh tsoreh—and if anyone’s guilty of it, it’s you. We all know that old habits die hard, but with Mercury in retrograde you may want to watch what you say a bit more carefully. The new moon in your fellow water sign—creative, free-wheeling Pisces—on March 11 pit the two sides of your nature against each other. Loose lips may sink ships, but loosening yourself up won’t do anyone any harm.

LEO (JULY 21-AUGUST 20): No matter how hard you try to be inscrutable, the hitsik (hothead) wildcat within you betrays your true nature every time. Temper, temper you imperious beasts! With so many planets in even-keeled Pisces, you just may get the balm you need to keep moving forward. Remember, if you can’t do as you wish, do as you can—Az me ken nit vi me vil, tut men vi me ken.

VIRGO (AUGUST 21-SEPTEMBER 20): All eyes will be on you with the full moon in your sign on February 25. This is a great time to allow yourself a moment in the spotlight for once; after all, too much modesty is half conceit—tsu fil anives iz a halber shtolts. However, with Mercury in retrograde (and in your polar opposite sign, Pisces), you’ll still do well to conduct yourself with the reticence and charm you know best. That does mean you can’t get all farpitzed and let the world bask in your glow.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 21-OCTOBER 20): Venus is drifting through languorous Pisces through March 21, encouraging you to patteren tseit (lounge around, waste time) more than usual. This combined with your capacity for dissimulation conceals your true intentions and desires. Libras may have the reputation for being lighthearted lovers, but the mask you wear may be doing you more harm than you think. While it’s great that you can keep a positive mental attitude, suppressing your darker side keeps you from letting others into your heart.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 21-NOVEMBER 20): Your reputation precedes you, saucy Scorpio—you’ll get what you want by hook or by crook. Oi, a shkandal! (Oh, what a scandal!). While you may not be as thoroughly unscrupulous as your sign suggests, with so many planets in Pisces, another water sign immersed in the waters of the unconscious, your hulyen (hellraiser) impulses could get the better of you. Reign in the danger, but never deny your true nature.

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 21–DECEMBER 20): With your ruling planet Jupiter still in mischievous Gemini and so many planets in dreamy Pisces, you’d be wise to guard your saykhel (common sense) closely. Surrounding yourself with mamoshes (people of substance) may help you avoid finding yourself at the wrong place at the wrong time. However, if you have a tendency to lead others on, at least have the decency to operate with transparency: if you’re all talk, make sure your partners-in-crime know it. No one likes a con artist!

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 21–JANUARY 20): Your mantra has been Me krechts, me geht veyter—I complain and I keep going—for longer than you’d care to admit. Saturn’s retrograde through July 7 forces you to confront, and hopefully resolve, issues that have been plaguing you. If you can face your demons head on, you may find that the wild card’s been up your sleeve all along, and the fact that you can keep surprising yourself should be more than enough to get yourself going again, you alter bok (old goat).

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21-FEBRUARY 20): If you’ve been feeling more kalamutneh (dreary, gloomy, troubled) than usual, you may worry that you’ve reached an impasse in your love life. Fear not, this deadlock may resolve itself at the eleventh hour. Until then, you may just have to grit your teeth and accept that to leiden (suffer) is your fate right now. Focus on all the great things you’ve got going on rather than the bad hand life seems to have dealt you. After all, as Ru Paul says, “If you don’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

What’s Your Sign?
Aquarius, Sign of Contradictions
Capricorn, the Cardinal Earth Sign
Sagittarius, the Adventurous Archer
Stinging Scorpio
Lovely, Lawful Libra
Virgo, the Anxious Maiden
Leo, King of the Jungle

(Art by Margarita Korol)

The post Jewcy Horoscopes: Pisces, the Dual-Natured Water Sign (Feb. 21-March 20) appeared first on Jewcy.

Vulture has unearthed the high school yearbook photos of dozens of celebrities, confirming that no matter how famous someone ends up, they probably had an awkward phase growing up. Not even the most glam of celebrities can escape the pitfalls of adolescence, and now you can gawk at the former gawkiness of endlessly photoshopped stars. (Though the picture of fresh-faced Lindsay Lohan just makes us sad.)

From the embarrassingly time-stamped (we’re looking at you, Anthony Weiner) to the suspiciously different-looking, not even your favorite Jewish celebrities are safe from class photo embarrassment.

Mark Zuckerberg Jesse Eisenberg had not yet perfected his perpetually-in-high-school look, but it’s not for lack of trying. Paul Rudd, apparently, was always Paul Rudd. Mila Kunis rocked the curly half-pony even after her Lisa Frank days (not pictured: Ashton Kutcher). Natalie Portman, however, takes the cake with her studious pre-Harvard look and Long Island-straight hair.

See the rest of the images here.

(Images via Vulture)

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• Hurricane Sandy’s unlikely effect? A meat market uptown when the Yeshiva University Stern girls were transferred uptown to the boys’ campus. [Jewish Week]

• A new study out of Jerusalem reports that attractive women are more likely to act the way society wants them to. Or something. [Huffington Post]

• Horror writer R.L. Stine’s drink of choice? Ginger Ale. [NY Mag]

• Jake Gyllenhaal, still on Broadway, and probably still kicking himself for not giving Taylor Swift that scarf back before her new album came out. [NY Post]

• Chelsea Handler, off the market. [Huffington Post]

• Where did Clueless creator Amy Heckerling get the inspiration to make a vampire movie? “I’m a night person and I’d like to not get older.” [The Daily]

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• Comedian Chelsea Handler made a vibrator joke in a letter to New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

• Joseph Gordon-Levitt morphs into a young Bruce Willis for his new film, Looper.

• Iris Apfel, 82-year-old fashion icon, on her current popularity: “now all of sudden they carry on like I invented penicillin.”

• The new HBO show Girls is “My So-Called Life if Gilda Radner was in it.”

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• Drake, Chelsea Handler, and Larry King are among the top Jewish Twitterers.

• Israeli parents protest what they see as an extremist bent in religious schools.

• How Moammar Qaddafi went from anti-Semite to Libyans claiming he was a Jew.

• How one Jewish writer helped rescue the OWS library.

• What Jenny Slate reads when she isn’t coming up with new Marcel the Shell with the Shoes On sketches.

The post Daily Jewce: Saving The OWS Library, School Protests, Popular Jews On Twitter, And More appeared first on Jewcy.