Sometimes you have to celebrate Passover with metal songs, sexy Moseses, and thoughtful musical pieces about cephalopods.

Such was par for the course at “The Seder-Songwriter Project,” the third of its kind, which took place at Joe’s Pub in Manhattan last night.

Hosted by the band The Universal Thump (you may remember them from their music video “Seder-Masochistic“), the evening invited musical artists, both Jewish and not, to present an original song based on the holiday or story of the Exodus. Beyond that, anything goes, and anything went. There were songs about everything from smiting the Egyptians from God’s point of view to a fictional Fifth Child following the Four Sons, all emceed by a sexy, leotard-clad, Australian Moses (played by performer Anna Copa Cabanna).

Broadly speaking, the numbers were about one of two topics: The Exodus narrative, and modern Passover celebrations. As for the latter, if you were an outsider at the performance, you might assume that Jews all hate our religion.

Sure, there was nuance in the complaining, from a number by David Nagler where a miserable family seder arouses nostalgia years later, to a shout-out to other, arguably more fun holidays in “Haggadah Get Out of Here” (with Deb Adler Poppel). But few performers sang with the same affection of Passover in reality as with the fantastical notion of inviting Santa to the seder, as one song suggested.

This is the flip-side of having a religion that welcomes dissent, that maintains a degree of tradition through even those born into it who have since mostly wiggled loose. When you invite open discourse on something we’re pressured into, it can turn into a bit of a kvetch-fest. Is that cathartic? Sure. But does tradition forever become obligation as a result?

Numbers about topics other than the seder included a number about Inky, the octopus that escaped from an aquarium, and what that says about freedom, (according to Ian Riggs). There was also the weirdly fun comedy metal song about the eleventh plague, a Godzilla-like creature known as the Hava Nagila monster that post-rampage, helpfully returns a lost Jew to his tribe (shout out to performer Corn Mo for fully committing to that particular concept).

Can a Jewish-written song about a religious holiday be so funny, and a bit irreverent, while still being loving at its core? Sure, but we’re way too emotionally scarred for it to be that easy. Still, the evening on a whole balanced out to a complicated, funny, sad, slightly frustrated look at the most matza-ful time of the year.

Next year in Jerusalem, or at least back at Joe’s Pub.

Image courtesy of Greta Gertler Gold

See also: Have Yourself a Merry Little Sondheimas

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Breaking: Justin Timberlake is BRINGING SEXY BACK to the Western Wall! (Oh, go on, roll your eyes, but it had to be said.)

JT is set to perform at Tel Aviv’s Hayarkon Park on Wednesday night to a crowd of 44,000. He visited the kotel on Tuesday to pray, and took the opportunity to post a super-meaningful pic to his Instagram account in an appropriately antique-y filter. (Because #JerusalemofGold, amirite?)

“The Holy Land… What an experience. I will never forget this day,” he wrote. Hashtag: Israel.

The photo has received about 200,000 likes so far, and almost 7,000 comments.

Also performing in Israel this summer: Lady Gaga, Backstreet Boys, and The Rolling Stones. We’re hoping for a slew of pics to add to our Celebrity Kotel album.

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Billy Joel to play monthly concerts at New York City’s Madison Square Garden

If there’s one universal truth, it’s that even a little Billy Joel is too much Billy Joel. It seems, however, that New York City disagrees. The balladeer has signed a deal to play monthly (!) concerts at Madison Square Garden for “as long as the audience demands.” To be clear, if you didn’t get enough Billy Joel at the January concert, you can pay real dollar bills to hear him play again in February, March, and April. The New York Daily News reports:

The Garden must anticipate the demand will be great since they simultaneously announced Tuesday that Joel will become their first ever musical “franchise.” That appointment turns Joel into the Garden’s fourth pillar, equal to its three sports teams: the Knicks, The Rangers and the Liberty.

Disconcertingly, the first four dates are already sold out. Under the florescent lights, thousands will sing the “Piano Man” and Walt Frazier’s retired jersey will cover its figurative ears.

In other concert news, Lady Gaga will play Israel in summer 2014. And, in 2014, Billy Joel will probably still be playing concerts in MSG.

(Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty)

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