FFJD often sticks to the PG. However, a fearless fan had the cojones to email me the following about her desire to be “tickled” by her mate. It’s important to know what you want, and how to ask for it. And that’s something FFJD supports.

Dear FFJD,

I saw your site and thought it was awesome since I’ve been on JDate for a couple of months. I have a question…at what point in an online relationship do you reveal a fetish to somebody?

I love being tickled and I feel like that’s a weird subject to bring up to guys because they’ll get all these perverted ideas if it doesn’t scare them off.

It’s actually a very popular fetish believe it or not. I have one guy that claims to also like being tickled (but won’t reveal his ticklish spots) and am trying to figure out the best way to jump into that topic. I think we’d have a lot of fun together. Any thoughts?

– Ticklish

Hi Ticklish,

First things first, I did some research. Who knew that “tickling” is a really common request? It was even covered on Tyra Banks(VASEEEEEEEELINEEEE).

I think it’s great that you know what makes you tick downtown. However, especially in the realm of online dating, it’s good to see how your chemistry is in person before you bring up something so personal.

I’d hold off on discussing your private desires until you’ve slept with said person, or feel comfortable. It’s really about your gauge of things. If it’s someone who you trust, and who you think might be into what you’re into (or if it’s someone who’s into you in general, they’ll definitely want to make you feel good) bring it up in an intimate situation. Something along the lines of testing the waters with something new.

Just keep it after a few dates, and DEFINITELY NOT in your online profile. You never want to lead with sex, especially on a first date. Unless that’s what you’re after. In which case, tickle away.

Hope this helps!

To everyone else – you can always email me private FFJD concerns and advice at fiftyfirstjdates@gmail.com. I also offer profile rewrites, consultations, audit and revision.

The post FFJD: Tickle Me JDate appeared first on Jewcy.

So apparently the supermarket is a good place for young people to meet other young people. According to Patti Stanger, Our Lady of Pink Office Motifs, the supermarket is a great place to meet dudes. So I decided to do some FFJD fieldwork and give it a whirl.

The “social” Safeway of Georgetown, as its known by us Beltway Insiders (and I guess supermarket enthusiasts?) has always been known as a prime spot for singles mingling over cheese wedges and boxes of 100 calorie packs, also known as Baggies Of Air. My friend told me he went right after the store was reconstructed and “handed out his number.” I think that was an exaggeration, but let’s see how it went, shall we?

What I wore: OOOh I haven’t been able to write this one in a while! I was wearing my Sunday best, AKA a gym ensemble (leggings/sporty top with built-in support) and sneakers. Maybe this wasn’t the best thing to wear when trying to pick up guys, but I wanted something that screamed Sometimes I Can Run When I Decide I Want To, And Also I Don’t Want To Try So Hard But Can You Pass Me Another Roast Beef Sample?

So I get there and I immediately am side-by-side with another FFJDer I think with the same idea. (JBrands, long puffy coat, hungry for men eyes). I go straight for the new cheese samples. As I am munching, it’s not even good but it’s gratis, the cheese lady decides to tell me that by taking two samples instead of one, I have offended the Gods of Gouda. This is not a good way to start this adventure.

I begin following two girls in Juicy sweatpants, whose entire cart is filled with ONLY champagne and plastic baggies. I am intrigued, and hiding under loaves of bread to hear about their weekend recap. I am guessing they were prepping for a Mimosa Sandwich Bagging Contest.

Girl 1: I vomited twice this morning.

Girl 2: It’s okay, I made out with Kevin.

Girl 1: Is Kevin the one from the football team who used to go out with Claire?

Girl 2: No, Kevin is the one from my section, you know the hot one who told me that we should study together.

Girl 1: Oh.

As I peer out from the display of turkey samples, of which I am eating 12, I see one of the girls OPEN a bottle of champagne. This is too good.

I walked up and down the aisles looking for guys, and there weren’t really any hotties.

Well, there were two hotties but they were dating and not into girls. I watched them, all hot and in love, impeccably dressed and hanging out in the organics section. Straight men should try organic food. It’s the aisle where all the girls hang out. That and the straw section. Because as I’ve proclaimed before, CHICKS FUCKING LOVE STRAWS. Also, the soda section of the Social Safeway is called “mixers.” Guess they know what the Mountain Dew is really going to be used for. Chasing down your shots of Jager.

Maybe I went at the wrong time? I felt defeated, aside from the perusal of this month’s magazines. Maybe there were no hot, available, arms-open dudes who look like a taller Paul Rudd because there was football on. I guess all the cute boys were horizontal on their couch with their hands in their jammie pants. Le sigh.

As I circled back to the cheese display and had another two cheese balls, the cheese lady gave me the evil eye. I shot her back a look that says DO I LOOK LIKE IM PLAYING. And she sidled back over to the meat slicer, deciding not to mess with me.

So, I guess I got some cheese out of that.

_____________________

Contact FFJD at http://fiftyfirstjdates.com/ask

FFJD on Twitter, FFJD on Facebook.

The post FFJD: Lay Me Over A Bed (Of Lettuce) appeared first on Jewcy.

Someone asked me on Formspring (this cool thingy where you can ask me anonymous questions which isn’t really any different from just posting anonymous comments below but whatevs) about age differences. What did I think an ideal age difference for dating was?

Well, there isn’t really one, but my reply was around ten years max. Of course that’s just my opinion, there are happy couples where one has an AARP card and one is in diapers (non adult diapers. I kid, I kid.)

The bottom line when it comes to dating and age is that it’s just important you and the prospective Joe Schmoenstein are in the same phase of your life, relatively speaking. For instance, said questioner on Formspring is an older, post-grad male whose girlfriend is in college. This is inherently hard.

Let’s be real, in college your greatest concern is whether or not Becca Stein, the stupid bitch in Theta, is going to be wearing the same dress as you at the Aepi formal. Or maybe whether the footnotes in your thesis are adequate all being from Wikipedia. Post grad life is mostly about happy hours, finding a place in the office fridge where someone won’t steal your string cheese (THANKS GUYS), and figuring out what it’s like to be an adult. Or not figuring that out, and live-blogging cable television, like me.

Personally, I’ve dated people older than me always. Mostly because girls mature faster than boys. This is a proven fact. There should be some sort ofFFJD algorithm to determine a guys age, often as follows:

Boys: Biological age – (4) – (#of times smokes weed per week/3.75). Wow, this is the first time I’ve used my TI-83 since…never. Well except maybe to play that silly drug dealer game in high school.

Girls: Biological age + (2) – (10) (if you use emoticons). Sippin’ on the smiley face haterade. They’re stupid.

Age difference is something that is a case by case thing. Sure, Demi Moore can date Ashton Kutcher and some boys are more mature than others. Which ladies, if you find one, you should probably clutch harder on to him than me on Black Friday with that last pair of Balenciaga heels that are two sizes too small but I’m going to make it work. Just don’t go with the whole Kim Kardashian/Justin Bieber weirdness. Her bum is bigger than his head. That was really mean, but I’ve measured.

However, if he has more grey hair than your Dad, there might be an issue/broaching Best in Show territory.

Although I really do love soup.

____________

Email FFJD: fiftyfirstjdates@gmail.com!

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The post FFJD: You Look Kinda Cute in Diapers appeared first on Jewcy.

Maybe this holidayze season: Hanukkah, Christmas, some ambiguous holiday that combines the best of both worlds (like my family’s Hanukkah bush with a Jewish star atop…shhh) are you bringing a significant or insignificant other home? This is great, but also could spell potential disaster.

Having your your gf/bf meet your parents and crazy Aunt Sue can be trying. Hell, it might even be some random hookup/sometimes you date because you don’t really want to go another family guilt-ridden holiday without someone by your side (although you met Adult Friend Finder)

Mostly because Aunt Sue’s idea of Hanukkah derives from a strange dance and a rendition of “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” because elegance is learned, my friend. Elegance is learned.

Don’t make the same mistake I did with an ex; where I met his Orthodox parents while minutes before having placed shrimp in the apartment freezer (sorry Moses and Abraham) as a result of a power outage and my melting Costco-filled fridge. To then unload similarly melting soups with his mother, while simultaneously pushing the shrimp as deep into the back as possible, hopping on one foot, praying she doesn’t notice, and trying not to laugh because this might be the largest example of Karma I’ve ever seen. She didn’t notice, thankfully. But I think the lil shrimpies touched her soup. Oops. I’m getting smoted.

Here are a few tips for meeting the parents of said person you are somewhat to moderately romantically involved with:

1. Whatever you do, do not bring up that time with the Johnny Walker and the traffic cone.

What happens in college, should stay in college (or on Facebook).

2. Small gifts are good.

If you’re going to his or her house, something thoughtful, not expensive is good. Flowers, cookies, a card. Maybe wine, but make sure they drink first (potentially extremely awkward. Oh, you stopped drinking? That’s funny, because your daughter drinks like a fish. What? I said your daughter swims like a fish. Such a natural!)

3. His mom or her mom’s cooking is by far the best thing you’ve ever ingested.

I don’t really care if her kugel/lasagna/meatball surprise tastes like what you’d imagine was served to Lindsay Lohan in prison amidst all of the cans of Coke Lilo is addicted to (not that kind of coke). Because it’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted. And you want more, right now. A lot more. Jeggings, leggings, and khakis with different buttons depending on amount of pie ingested are key. (Or cake, or CAKE PIE.)

4. Do not talk about your dating blog.

Been there, done that.

The post FFJD: Meeting The Parents appeared first on Jewcy.

So, I saw Love & Other Drugs, which should be renamed “Anne Hathaway’s Chicken Breasts and Jake Gyllenhaal’s Tushie Are In a Movie Together.” (Can Annie plz play me in the FFJD movie?)

I’m not really complaining about the Gyllenhaal Glutes Situation, although the movie was pretty terrible. Hathaway’s illness felt like a disingenuous plot mechanism, and she also wore a lot of overalls because this was supposed to be 1996. But I don’t think I even wore that many pairs of overalls in 1996 and I’m fairly certain that it would’ve been more accurate if one strap were undone (to then subsequently fall into 6th grade bathroom toilet. Sigh. Then I had to trudge back to class and I couldn’t change and it really sucked, save for the awesome Limited Too furry shag rug top thing that I was wearing.) relevance

I was trying to glean some FFJDness from it, and all I came up with was that there are randomly some very attractive medicine salesmen, Judy Greer again was relegated to her trademark Ugly Girl role, and sleeping around for professional gain is fine for Jakey, but not for girls. Although it was an exaggerated point, Sex Scenes & Jake’s Wayfarers really did bring up interesting issues of dating and physical health, and the lengths you go to be with someone you really care about.

One of my favorite scenes, though, was when Mr. Taylor Swift starts shaking uncontrollably, has a panic attack, and then tells Hathaway’s character that he loves her, and that he’s never said that to anyone, ever. “I said it to a cat once,” she replies.

For all the things that we have facilitating relationships – online dating, texting, video-chatting, those three words still seem to carry a lot of weight.

I think some guys think that “I Love You” is sort of like signing in blood on a dotted line to donate all of your organs to that girl. Whereas for chicks, it’s just not the same. I just don’t think it carries as much meaning because we are always loving everything – friends, new shoes, posters of Mr. Gyllenhaal’s face, the new lox cream cheese you bought.

“I love you” is still sort of a benchmark in a relationship though. You can sort of divide your time between pre-ILY and post-ILY. What if you never got to it at all? Does it mean it was a meaningless relationship? I’d hope not. But it’s one of the first questions people ask when you say you broke up and you sort of feel like you need to justify why you didn’t get him to proclaim his undying love for your being:

“Yeah, Josh and I ended things.”

— “Were you saying I love you yet?”

“No, but my toothbrush was there and we had 16 tagged photos together on Facebook.”

—-“Oh.”

Also, who says it first? There’s a lot of debate over this. People always tell me/it’s a common conception among girls that you should always wait for the guy to say it first, even if you think you feel it before he does, lest you lose the power struggle over who can hold out the longest. Do guys feel this way too?

Is there ever any good timing? I think I once used M&Ms as a segue to saying “I love you” to a boy. Yeah, thanks Mars Candy. But I really do love Peanut M&Ms, clearly. A friend’s ex said it to her for the first time when he was blacked out. Romantic! She had to remind him the next day, which lead to similar panic attacks as seen in above film.

I really do love you, Four Loko.

_____________

Email FFJD at fiftyfirstjdates@gmail.com!

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The post FFJD: Attempting To Find Relevance In a Bad Romcom appeared first on Jewcy.

Today’s FFJD Advice Arsenal question is about when a date goes on for far too long. When you like the guy, but basically you’ve been sitting on the bar stool for so long your butt is asleep, you’re pretty sure that you were sober then tipsy then sober and now bored and wondering whether or not you DVRd Conan or not (which I can’t decide if I like? But I certainly feel bad for Seth Rogan’s topless fiancee).

What to do?

Dear FFJD,

I am a huge fan of your blog and can completely relate to it from my own JDate experiences.  I wanted to know your opinions on the problem I’ve been having lately when a guy asks me to get “drinks.”  The issue is kind of like your post on “how to say no” except with how to let the guy know the date is over.  When I go out to dinner with a guy, dinner ends, we get the check, we go, clearly the date has a timeline.

With drinks…there is no clear ending.  Lately my “drinks” dates have been lasting usually an hour to 1.5 hours wayyyy longer than they should be.  Even if the date was going well initially, I’ll leave the date completely disinterested with no intentions of seeing him again because I am just so frustrated that it went on so long.

I start to shift uncomfortably, fidget, mildly start acting disinterested and bored, but guys don’t seem to get it.  The check will come, he will take forever to pay.  He will finally pay and then not push the check out assertively, so the waiter will have no idea he’s paid, it’s extremely frustrating.

Since I’m not the one paying, I don’t feel comfortable being like, “OK!  Time for you to just push your money out a bit more assertively, I really want to get out here, you have seriously started to bore me!”

Any suggestions?  I’ve never been one for the “oh my friend is calling, might be important” stunt.  I might be ready to give up on getting drinks and strictly suggest dinner to potential daters.

– Bored Betty

Dearest Bored Betty – this can be an issue with getting drinks. There is no ending point. I’ve encountered this before, and it can be especially uncomfortable on a Friday or Saturday night, because you’re like oh hey we just met and you’re cool and all but like, do we have to go out together now to Napoleon and spend the entire evening together even though I just learned that you have double-jointed thumbs?

Peace out.

Do you do dinner instead? Dinner can be expensive, long, and then you’re trapped with an extremely nice Jewish boy who just really isn’t doing it for you. And you’re only on the first course.

Basically, you just need to be vocal and cut it off. It may seem awkward and hard at first, but you don’t want to get continually bored by your dates. Plus, if you talk about everything under the sun you want have anything to talk about the next time you rendezvous for VSCs. (vodka, soda, cran, duh.)

This means fibbing a little. Not a bad lie, like an oh I’m not actually single or I stole the car I drove here in, but more of something along the lines of “I have to work in the morning and I’d like to not fall asleep at my desk and drool on my NYT crossword (WHICH IS SO IMPOSSIBLE TO GET THESE DAYS, COME ON WILL SHORTZ. But I do love that your last name is Shortz.) and subsequently ruin 27 Down with my saliva.”

But you know, you don’t have to get that detailed. If you do like the guy, just be sure to not make that excuse seem like you’re blowing him off. Maybe follow that up with how much fun you had and that you’d love to do something soon.

If it’s a weekend night, just say you have a birthday or another event to go to. This can be uncomfortable, because you don’t really want to bring this guy to anything involving your friends if it’s a first date (unless it’s going swimmingly and basically you’ve fallen in lurvey lurve boo boo doo doo and can’t wait to introduce him to everyone…and in that case I’d still wait).

The bottom line is, you don’t have to bring him along all night. If you do, it can create a horrendous situation because you’re going to have to introduce him to people. Which is awkward always until you have a firm grasp of where you stand in the relationship/have known each other for more than 1.5 hours.

“HIiiiiiii JESS!! This is Jeff.

Oh, how do we know each other? Funny you should ask. I met him about 2 hours ago. His dog is named after a 30 Rock character. Check out his thumbs.”

xoxo,

FFJD

Any other suggestions, FFJD-ers?

_______

Email your FFJD queries, stories, and complaints to fiftyfirstjdates@gmail.com!

Follow FFJD on Twitter and Be a Fan on Facebook!

The post FFJD Advice Corner: Never Ending Dates appeared first on Jewcy.

Smooching is very important. There is even research that says that kissing chemistry goes beyond “oh cue the music this is fun and now I’m thinking about maybe a destination wedding in the Caribbean?” and is scientific/will discern the outcome of this rendezvous.

However, not everybody you plant one on, from the kid at camp in a canoe (yes, that happened), to the cute Aepi senior who has a girlfriend you didn’t know about, to the guy from work who you were just sort of bored and this is a terrible idea and zomg I think I just hit the copy button with my left cheek and I’m going to use up all the toner, is going to be a good kiss.

There are a few types of kissers to avoid, if possible. Sometimes it’s hard to assess whether or not someone will be a good kisser (as Patti says, don’t judge it til you kiss it), and sometimes you just know. I have a theory that people who are very verbal are good kissers. But then again some chatterboxes should stick to just talking.

The St. Bernard.

This is a classic case. Sometimes I’ve thought that there was genuinely a saliva gland problem. Maybe that’s just for my own peace of mind. But if you feel like you’re reenacting Beethoven (don’t get my wrong, that is a fantastic family film), maybe you should think about absorption strategies, or exit strategies.

The Tongue In Cheek.

Aren’t I so witty? But come on, you’ve been there where some dude thinks that sticking his tongue in your mouth far enough to make sure you did in fact have all of your wisdom teeth removed. (This photo, post-op, chipmunk-cheeked, and whacked out on Vicodin had to have been the same day as your passport photo, and now when you’re being manhandled by TSA they remark at your apparent weight-loss.)

It’s just awkward, uncomfortable, unenjoyable, and very difficult for respiration. It might just be time to step away from his taste buds. Which have now become your taste buds. Did you eat peanut butter?

Kissing a Girl.

Yeah I know, Katy Perry kissed a girl and really liked it and now only wears latex, custom-made dresses that make me worry about her Pikachu and doesn’t that area between her large boobs get sweaty? Ew.

But you have to think about the mechanics, people. It’s important.

Anyway, there are some boys who are like just too sensitive and not aggressive enough and then you sort of feel like a director somewhere is going to yell “cut!” and you’re just like excuse me can you get into this please also are you wearing lip balm? (Has also happened. Sigh.) This might sound slightly sexist and I’ve actually never kissed a girl so this is what I’d imagine girls kiss like. :: insert boy drool here ::

Biters.

Self-explanatory.

_ _ _

What makes a really great kiss? It’s hard to discern and is very subjective. I’ve had multiple friends make out with the same boy in college (ffjd ffjd ffjd) and one says he was a terrible kisser and the other said he was great. Which means one of those two girls is a bad kisser? Or maybe there was just too much jungle juice involved and then someone walked in and he got all flustered because the kid almost knocked over his super special “Volcano.” On another note – general hygiene is important. If you like, haven’t showered in several days or need a bunch of wet ones because you just had Chipotle before this makeout sesh (FML), we’z gonna have a problem.

________

Email FFJD at fiftyfirstjdates@gmail.com! I LOVE SPAM!

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The post FFJD: Avoid These Kisses appeared first on Jewcy.

It’s that time of year again, the Festival of Lights, also known as Do I Choose Between Eight Small Presents or One Big One? Also, Can We Finally Have a Hanukkah Bush This Year? My biggest conundrum with the fiesta of Jewish Candelabras (Menorahs) is that I don’t know how to spell Hanukkah. Is there a correct spelling? Chanukah? Hanukah? Hanukkah? Hannukkkkkaaahhhh? This is very overwhelming for a spelling nerd such as myself.

But anyway, you’re probably gearing up with your Barney’s Menorah and writing a list of all the things you want, like a new Marc Jacobs key fob (prerequisite for being an FFJD girl in college), or maybe the new box set of Gossip Girl or an iPad. I am accepting gifts…just saying. Anyway, I came up with some latkes of wisdom to enjoy your Chanookahah.

1. Latkes are the key to everyone’s heart.

See that cute boy over there? Give him a latke. Are you Team Applesauce or Team Sour Cream? I am a fervent Team Applesauce, having won our team’s softball game against Sour Cream with my amazing bunting skills. Sour cream is disgusting, sorry. I know I’m going to warrant some rants about this.

A friend of mine likes powdered sugar on latkes. Any way you fry it, just be sure to ingest a lot of those potato pancakes. Maybe even sweet potato ones. Has anyone used ketchup on latkes? Or is that insulting to both hash browns and home fries?

2. Have a Hanukkah Party.

So that a) you have an excuse to seduce that adorable guy who works in Corporate that you’ve just been dying to kiss under the mistletoe (I think mistletoe is fine for Hanuuukeah, because generally encouraging smooching is great) or b) you have an excuse to exchange presents and drink excessively.

You could even have a Schanuka pregame, just don’t forget to have straws because girls get annoyed when there are no straws. I don’t know why, it’s just a thing. And gelt is good, because chicks also like chocolate.

3. Strip Dreidel.

I wish I could take credit for this little nugget of genius, but alas a male friend told me in all seriousness that he has played this before. FFJD is the official sponsor of Dirty Dreidel. No need to be Jewish, just a propensity for dropping your drawers.

4. Go on a JDate During Hanukkah.

Just because that’s pretty Jewish, menorahs are good romantic centerpieces, and I always want your material (fiftyfirstjdates@gmail.com!) $10 if you tell your date over romantic Night 6 Sushi that he’s your “present” this week.

5. Do Not Buy Hanukkah Gift Wrap.

I know this one is pretty random, but wrap your chatchkes in a) the comics, b) Vogue back issues, or c) a random Saks shopping bag. You know you once bought a roll with cute dreidels on it and its sitting in a closet somewhere and your friends know which present is yours for birthdays because who uses an entire roll of Hanukkah wrapping paper? Maybe penguin paper (guilty) or snowflakes, but I really don’t want my Jo Malone fragrance set to wish me a happy Festival of Lights. In August.

_____________

Email me your Hanukkah horrors or naked pics to fiftyfirstjdates@gmail.com!

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The post FFJD: Five Latkes Of Wisdom appeared first on Jewcy.

Eva Longoria Parker, she of short trenchcoat advertisement with large boyfriend fame, filed for divorce from her tall foreign frenchy husband for cheating last week. He apparently (now, I’m using news sources like Us Weekly and Popeater, clearly like referring to the AP) had hundreds of text messages to another woman. The worst part is the woman is the wife of another basketball player. It’s unclear whether or not he physically cheated on her, but it was clearly grounds for dismissal.

Why is it that celebrity wives instantly kick husbands to the curb for instances of cheating (along with Elin Nordegren, Sandra Bullock), but so many political wives stick around?

The spectrum of what constitutes “cheating” is wide (and tall, in Tony Parker’s case.) There is straight up booty with someone who is not your spouse or girlfriend, but then there are more gray areas like texting, sexting, whatever else you do with an iphone, Facebook, Twitter, and checking into someone else’s pants on Foursquare.

Technology has made cheating easier, but with one type of your name, instantly discover something bad.

Emails are forever. As are blog posts, as we were reminded in the Social Network, although it was heinously improbably that Rooney “Girl With a Dragon Tattoo” Mara would actually date a boy in Adidas shower slides. Heinous. Never boys, never. Search histories, gchats (look at the professor who was busted for sexy gchatting with a student for the second time) are written in…permanent code.

Emotional cheating, in my opinion, is far worse than any physical act. This opinion tends to be shared more among women than men. I’ve been in an emotional cheating situation that was painful, toxic, and unacceptable. Although emotional cheating situations don’t necessarily result in physical cheating, they are equally if not more destructive. Trust is broken with or without as much as holding someone else’s hand.

Dating sites bring in a whole new era of cheating-related conundrums. I heard an instance of someone in a relationship whose boyfriend went on JDate right before he broke up with her. In my mind, this is beyond wrong, and might be a form of cheating.

I’m not sure if everybody would agree with that, but the intent to find someone else in a dating space is different from looking a girl up and down at a bar. You don’t know that she’s single, and she doesn’t know what you’re looking for, that you keep kosher and want three kids, and play tennis on weekends.

What about if your significant other is not Jewish? I’ve had multiple people tell me that they’re on JDate because their girlfriend or boyfriend is not of the Hebrew persuasion. I also think that this is wrong. Dating someone is dating someone, and rules apply no matter if they’re Christian, have an elephant trunk, or 16 toes.

What do you think?

____________

Email your FFJD tale to fiftyfirstjdates@gmail.com!

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The post FFJD: Cheating Cheats And The Women Who Dump Them appeared first on Jewcy.

I’m having another Carrie Bradshaw moment. I’m staring wistfully into my giant closet, trying to decide if that Dior denim bodysuit goes with my Balenciaga straightjacket. Sigh, I want so badly to say yes.

Can we talk about how in SATC Carrie made a trillion dollars from writing little columns about nothingness and was able to afford $1200 shoes? This is just not realistic. I wonder how SATC would fare with a blogger instead. DID YA HEAR THAT, MTV?

Anyway, let’s get down to business. I can barely hear myself think because Aidan is whacking a hole through the wall. Weeps.

Recently, Jezebel published an article in “Social Minefield” on how to have a great first date. The site tackled all of the major stuff, (with their trademark feminist/overly critical edge), but I think there was one key element that was missing: the idea of expectations going into a first date.

We all have expectations – when it comes to someone else’s personality, looks, or physical characteristics. I’m hoping you’re a ten with the looks of Paul Newman and the comedic delivery of Craig Robinson. Which is a tall order, given that Paul Newman is no longer with us, but lives on in my heart, and Craig Robinson isn’t my type.

If my dating saga has taught me anything, it’s to have as few expectations going into a date as possible. O rly Meredith? You are a judgmental girl who writes a dating blog. Yes, I know. But listen.

I ruined many first encounters by setting the bar too high when it really shouldn’t have been set at all. One of my best first dates was when I had super low expectations, and my date far exceeded them. Just try to go in with a clean slate.

Dating profiles are a two-dimensional, watered-down version of someone.  You wouldn’t want that cute Columbia boy you’re sitting across from to make judgments about you, either.

This is very hard to do when it comes to online dating. In a lot of cases, you’ve chatted with Jared for hours on end about your love of dirty Scrabble, or your pet Maltese James Earl Jones who continually chews only your most expensive sleepwear.

It’s a little strange that you can immediately tell from a JDate/Match profile whether or not someone wants kids or what their past relationships have taught them about dating. These are things that come with getting to know someone, and it’s important to step back and let yourself truly go from square one.

Online dating is great, because it cuts out a lot of the crap. But, sometimes it slops off some of the important, good old-fashioned ignorance about someone else.

(I decided on the Dries Van Noten assless chaps and Karl Lagerfeld for Converse slippers instead.

________

Email your FFJD story to Fiftyfirstjdates@gmail.com!

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The post FFJD: Great Expectations appeared first on Jewcy.