Like many of us, you may have missed Sunday night’s YouTube Music Awards. Not a huge loss, really, but what is worth watching is the choose-your-own-adventure video short that Lena Dunham wrote for the festivities.

It begins at an EDM (are we still using that term?) show. A sad guy, moping in a hoodie (Nick Lashaway), watches his ex-girlfriend (Vanessa Hudgens) dance on stage with the DJ (Michael Shannon). Miserable, he then meets a wild raver (Dree Hemingway), who flirts with him with her Manic Pixie Drug Girl ways. She decides to take to the stage to beat up the sad guy’s ex. It’s about to go down when a raconteur (Jason Schwartzman) stops the madness and asks the audience how they would like the show to end— a loving romance, or a double suicide. The fist pumping, neon clad crowd cheers for death.

Im so happy the audience chose the double suicide and not the romance. Y'all always pull through for me. #ytma

— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) November 4, 2013

In what might be an allegory for modern hedonism (probably not, just a silly little flick!), we watch the crowd dance in the blood of the suicide. RAGE 4EVER.

Watch and enjoy, or something.

The post Watch Lena Dunham’s Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Short appeared first on Jewcy.

• The New Yorker has some very Jewish fiction from Nicole Krauss. [New Yorker]

• Go the F*ck to Sleep author Adam Mansbach is offering a fake college course you should probably enroll in. [Salon]

• Animating the Talmud, G-dcast style. [Tablet]

• Jonathan Ames and Jason Schwartzman (the man, not the flu mask) are teaming up again for a film adaptation of a Bernard Malamud story story collection. [THR]

• A look at SkinnyGirl maven Bethenny Frankel’s TriBeCa condo, presumably sans soon-to-be-ex-husband Jason Hoppy. [Curbed]

• In Adam Levine’s The Voice-inspired SNL opening monologue, Jerry Seinfeld played the Jewish card: “I get you—appealing, not as Jewish as your name. I know that racket inside and out.”

The post Daily Jewce: Ames and Schwartzman Are Back, Meet Professor Mansbach appeared first on Jewcy.

Flu season is upon us, and whether you’ve had it or been around people who have it, chances are you’re probably complaining about it. From sickly coworkers to sniffling family members, no one is safe.

What better way to fight the flu*—and stay stylish—than with these printable flu masks bearing the faces of your favorite Jewish stars? Just download the PDF, cut along the dotted lines, punch holes where marked and tie the mask on, and you’re all set! You can thank us later, once you’ve Purell-ed. Masks by the one and only Margarita Korol of Urban Pop Art Projects.

Option 1: The Larry David

It’s pretty, pretty, pretty gross out there with everyone coughing all over the place. Take a bold stand against all the sick people around you by pledging allegiance to the king of principled decision-making.

Printer-friendly Larry David flu mask [PDF]

Option 2: The Lena Dunham

You’re almost kind of getting it together this flu season, but not so much that you’ve actually gotten a flu shot or taken any real precautions. Never fear, the unflappable writer/director/tweeter has you covered—literally.

Printer-friendly Lena Dunham flu mask [PDF]

Option 3: The Jason Schwartzman

Bored to death of the interminable flu season? Stroll around Brooklyn fearlessly with Schwartzman’s mustachioed face atop your own. Moonrise Kingdom khaki scout cap sold separately.

Printer-friendly Jason Schwartzman flu mask [PDF]

Option 4: The Natalie Portman

Flu season got you on your toes? Take a page from the Black Swan herself and you’ll get an Aleph for effort.

Printer-friendly Natalie Portman flu mask [PDF]

Option 5: The Woody Allen

Show the world—or everyone on the subway, at least—that you’re so much more than a run-of-the-mill hypochondriac with this facial salute to the master alarmist himself.

Printer-friendly Woody Allen flu mask [PDF]

*Fine print: These paper masks probably won’t prevent the flu or any other real afflictions, but they’ll go a long way toward combating hypochondria and looking awesome.

The post Printable Flu Masks With Your Favorite Jewish Stars’ Faces on Them appeared first on Jewcy.

Still upset about the cancellation of Bored to Death? Etsy has just the thing for you: a pillow case with Jason Schwartzman’s face on it.

Not so into Schwartzman anymore? The seller also has Hemingway, Lincoln, and Davy Crockett. Or, if you want to get super meta (kind of) there are two different Moonrise Kingdom options to choose from.

Previously: You Can Buy a Ring With Lena Dunham’s Face on it on Etsy
Jewcy’s Favorite TV Show Of 2010: Bored To Death

The post You Should Probably Buy This Pillow With Jason Schwartzman’s Face On It appeared first on Jewcy.

• Move over Jason Schwartzman, Jenny Slate is heading to Parks and Recreation as Jean-Ralphio’s twin sister, Mona Lisa Saperstein. [EW]

• Rachel Shukert counts down 10 things we loved about 2012. [Tablet]

• Judd Apatow interviews celebrated spiritual teacher Ram Dass over Skype. [GQ]

• Why are Barbra Streisand and Bette Midler’s latest movie characters not Jewish even though they’re so, so Jewish? [Hollywood Reporter]

• Relatedly, we really hope this a very bad photo and not what Babs looks like these days. [LA Times]

• Who’s on first? Jerry Seinfeld has a guess:

The post Daily Jewce: Meet Mona Lisa Saperstein, Babs is Back on the Big Screen appeared first on Jewcy.

• 60 Minutes looks at Steven Spielberg’s new movie, Lincoln, which was apparently more than a decade in the making. Hope it’s good!

• Why sending The Big Bang Theory nebbish Howard Wolowitz might not have been the best idea.

• Jason Schwartzman likes clothing and Keith Moon.

• In today’s Homeland news, relive the glory of Mandy Patinkin’s Saul Berenson coming face to face with mini Darth Vader.

• The ladies of Community get NSFW—now will you finally premiere their show’s new season, NBC?

• Sarah Silverman and Lizz Winstead helpfully explain the difference between corporations and people.

The post Daily Jewce: Spielberg’s Decade-Long Movie, Alison Brie Gets NSFW appeared first on Jewcy.

• At last, a simple flow chart that tells you if/why you’re anti-Semitic, from Tablet Magazine’s Marc Tracy.

• That time Jason Schwartzman accidentally wore a g-string.

• Spotted: Mark Zuckerberg and wife Priscilla Chan dining at a kosher restaurant while honeymooning in Rome.

• Jediists and Matrixists are (religious) people too.

• Bob Dylan was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Booyah.

The post Daily Jewce: Kosher Zuck, Bob Dylan Awarded, Best Flowchart Ever, and more appeared first on Jewcy.

Even though he looks nothing like the real life Jonathan Ames who created the show, there is hardly anybody out there to play a neurotic Jewish private dick/writer better than Jason Schwartzman.

Maybe it’s because his character seemed like an even bigger nebbish this season, or maybe it was the episode where the real life Ames can be seen sporting nothing but a yarmulke, running down the street, but Bored to Death was officially our favorite show of 2010.

Runners up:

Boardwalk Empire, Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad.

The post Jewcy’s Favorite TV Show Of 2010: Bored To Death appeared first on Jewcy.