Readers with a keen eye for the absurd will recall that in October 2013, former New York mayor Michael Bloomberg was awarded the inaugural Genesis Prize—to the tune of $1 million—for his commitment to “the Jewish community and/or the State of Israel.” Yep, you read that right: a group of billionaires awarded a million dollars to another billionaire. In the business world that’s the equivalent of Venmo-ing your roommate twenty bucks for the internet bill; in the philanthropic world it is called a “prize.” (Bloomberg gifted the money back to the Genesis Generation Challenge, which awards ten prizes of $100,000 to groups of young Jews working on innovative projects in the Jewish community each year.)

This year’s “laureate” is actor Michael Douglas, whose most recent contribution to the Jewish world was a visit to Jerusalem’s City of David in June 2014. Douglas praised the archaeologists for their hard word, mentioned son Dylan’s bar mitzvah, and said “shalom” on camera. Thus, a prize!

The Los Angeles Times noted that Douglas might be a controversial choice for more traditional, conservative Jews: “His father, Kirk Douglas, who was born Issur Danielovitch, is the son of Jewish immigrants from what is now Belarus. Michael Douglas’ mother, Diana Dill, is not Jewish, and he was not raised in the faith. Douglas embraced his Jewish identity later in life and last year traveled to Jerusalem to celebrate the bar mitzvah of his son Dylan.”

Douglas, in turn, told the Times that he had sometimes felt alienated from Judaism, as many Jews do not consider him or his children Jewish. No surprise, then, that the prize money will go to “activities designed to raise awareness of inclusiveness and diversity in Judaism.”

Look, I don’t really care if Douglas’ mother was Jewish—if he considers himself a member of the tribe, genug shoyn. And it’s great that the prize money will be passed on to worthy Jewish causes. But it’d be nice to see this kind of song and dance performed each year for a hard-working, relatively unknown community organization or individual, instead of super-rich dudes who don’t need the cash or the publicity.

Anyway, mazal tov everyone! Next year in a soup kitchen, God willing.

(Image: Featureflash / Shutterstock.com)

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I haven’t worn a pair of high heels since I tried a pair on because they hurt and I look stupid when I walk in them and because they hurt. It’s hard for me to not get jealous of all the ladies looking lovely when they wear their stilettos so effortlessly, not getting the pointy, dagger-y part stuck in sewers. I’ve told myself that when I grew up I’d wear high heels, but then I grew up and I manage to wobble even when barefoot, so, it won’t happen, unfortunately.

But today my mind is changing after having read about Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s most recent foray into footwear. Bloomberg told the New Yorker’s Rebecca Mead all about it, Talking Points Memo reports.

“I like women and I think that they look stunning in high heels — not that they look bad without high heels. I wouldn’t criticize anybody,” Bloomberg said, according to a story in this week’s issue of the magazine. “But, if I were a woman, I think I would wear high heels.”

He’s right. Women do look stunning in high heels. But Bloomberg seems to forget that this is New York City, baby, and men can wear high heels, too. Meet you at Jimmy Choo, Bloomberg. Maybe we can get some coffee after and talk about lipstick or Bill De Blasio.

(Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty)

Previous: Shanah Tova and Happy Elie Tahari Day

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A sach mentshen zehen, nor vainik fun zai farshtai’en: Many people see things but few understand them.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21—FEBRUARY 20):

Ruled by wild and erratic Uranus, Aquarians are associated with inspiration and originality. Your symbol, the water-bearer, is a bit misleading—you’re not, in fact, a water sign, but rather an air sign. But unlike fellow air signs Libra and Gemini, Aquarius is a fixed sign, meaning you possess the intellectual acumen and curiosity of the others but aren’t nearly as mercurial.

Aquarius is also the sign of contradictions. Before the discovery of Uranus in 1781, Saturn was your ruler, representing order and conformity. Uranus, with its unusual rotation and orbit, rules rebellion, risk, and individuality. The planet is associated with invention and innovation, as well as a latent ability to perceive the future—which is what it means to be at the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

Aquarians are patient, intuitive, devoted, and dependable, yet drawn to the unconventional. Your clear-headed determination and knack for reason make you an excellent reformer. But your detachment from your emotions and dispassionate approach to relationships—as well as your keen memory for detail—often cause you to hold grudges. Your understanding of human nature runs the risk of being purely intellectual. Feh!

The new moon in your sign on February 9 favors innovation, exploration of the unknown, and experimentation. With Saturn in retrograde from February 18 until July 8, consider reexamining any outmoded ways of thinking and dealing with unfinished business—you can do so much more than you thought possible. The love planet Venus is in your sign until February 25th, so expect the thrills of freedom and independence. You might not find your beshert in time for Valentine’s Day, but some trial and error may be enough to awaken those dormant romantic impulses.

Famous Aquarius Jews: Gertrude Stein, Martin Buber, Michael Bloomberg, Neil Diamond, Paul Newman, Seth Green, Louis Zukofsky, Carole King, Philip Glass, Felix Mendelssohn, Jack Benny, Stella Adler, Paul Auster, Jonathan Lethem, Art Spiegelman, Betty Friedan, Darren Aronofsky, Judy Blume, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jerry Springer, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Pauly Shore, Regina Spektor, Zosia Mamet

PISCES (FEBRUARY 21-MARCH 20): Things may get worse before they get better—Aider es kumt di nechomeh, ken oisgaien di neshomeh. Mars and Mercury move into your sign in February, making compassion and dreaming the order of the day. Pisces can be gluttons for punishment, but if you stand up for yourself without equivocating, the people you need most will rush to your side in solidarity.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20): It seems like the universe is conspiring to put all of your plans on the back burner. During February your ruling planet Mars will be transiting through Pisces, the planet of compassion and empathy, which doesn’t exactly jive well with your typical warrior stance. However, ven men darf hoben moiach, helft nit kain koiach—when brains are needed, brawn won’t help.

TAURUS (APRIL 21-MAY 20): You may be feeling cautious in romantic pursuits for fear of rejection, making your prospects appear stalled and limited. But reality is more of a give-and-take than you realized. Before you can experience mekheye, you’ll need do some serious assessment about what you really want out of love.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): While you’ve been trying to focus on your career, mental Mercury’s move into Pisces on February 5 ignites your fantasies and dreams. Practicality may seem boring—if not hazardous—but rather than voglen (wander around aimlessly), be honest with yourself and others about what’s going on in that head of yours.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 20): Cosmic energies are insisting that you broaden your horizons. So ease up and let yourself go—your sanctimonious tendencies often push others away. An epiphanic moment may be in store for you, transforming the way you view your place in the universe.  

LEO (JULY 21-AUGUST 20): Although it seems like everything is working against you right now, this trial by fire could be a blessing in disguise. While domestic matters may take center stage, you’ll be strengthened by the realization that you’re a light that won’t go out. You’re the richtiker chaifetz (the real McCoy), you feisty felines—just hang in there and the method to this madness will eventually reveal itself.

VIRGO (AUGUST 21-SEPTEMBER 20): As charming as you can be, you’re often guilty of haken a chainik (talking for the sake of talking). The only way to get close to people is to interact with mutual regard and empathy. Try listening for a change and the rest will follow.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 21-OCTOBER 20): A wise man once said, “the world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Since Libra is the sign of balance, you would do well to find a way to mediate between thinking and feeling. After all, heaven and hell can both be had in this world—ganaiden un gehenem ken men baideh hoben oif der velt.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 21-NOVEMBER 20): You’ve been oysgemutshet (worked to death, tired out) for far too long. Don’t hate the player, hate the game: examine the source of your frustration. The truth has many faces—der emess hot a sach ponimer—and admitting that the past just isn’t through with you will help you make the changes you need for a brighter future.

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 21–DECEMBER 20): Freud interpreted the dual nature of Sagittarius as the ego’s way of navigating the warring id and superego. For fiery Sagittarians, it is often oder gor oder gornit (all or nothing). Rather than force something that just wasn’t meant to be, try to rise above the shtuss and learn to love the dueling sides of yourself.

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 21–JANUARY 20): With your ruling planet Saturn in retrograde from February 18 to July 8 and planets moving out of your sign, you may feel a particular sense of loss and confusion. For now, focus on your health—mental, spiritual, physical—rather than gesunte tzores. Gather your strength, for soon you’ll regain equilibrium.

What’s Your Sign?
Capricorn, the Cardinal Earth Sign
Sagittarius, the Adventurous Archer
Stinging Scorpio
Lovely, Lawful Libra
Virgo, the Anxious Maiden
Leo, King of the Jungle

(Art by Margarita Korol)

***

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The post Jewcy Horoscopes: Aquarius, Sign of Contradictions (Jan. 21—Feb. 20) appeared first on Jewcy.

• Barbra Streisand will sing at the Oscars this year, her first performance there since 1977. [NYDN]

• Cholent saves lives. Actually though. [Tablet]

• ‘You Had to Be There’ podcast hosts Nikki Glaser and Sara Schaefer talk about their new MTV show, Nikki and Sara Live, which premiered last night. [Splitsider]

• This just in: cool Shabbat dinners happen in New York City. [Observer]

• We’d probably go see Bloomberg: The Musical. [NYT]

• Meet Animated Saul Berenson [College Humor]

The post Daily Jewce: Babs to Perform at the Oscars, Cholent Saves Lives appeared first on Jewcy.

Being named TIME Person of the Year is kind of a big deal. While the nature of the award has certainly changed over the years (Hitler won in 1938?) and the official title was amended from ‘Man of the Year’ to ‘Person of the Year’ in 1999 (seriously, guys? 1999?), the honorary continues to be bestowed, according to TIME, “on the person or persons who most affected the news and our lives, for good or ill, and embodied what was important about the year.”

But for all the hype about Jews taking over the world, we’re a group that’s not been very well represented on this list. Most years the title goes to the president, which pretty much rules us out completely. And sure, we all won in 2006 (literally, the person of the year was “You“), but that felt a little like cheating. But then Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke got it in 2009, and Facebook king Mark Zuckerberg in 2010, and we really felt like we were finally sitting at the cool table in the TIME cafeteria.

This year, we’re keeping our fingers crossed for one of these four Jews to take home the 2012 title. But hopefully not you, Sheldon Adelson. Who will you be voting for? (Not that it really matters—the editors choose the winner anyway.)

Jon Stewart:

“He is an entertainer, but he’s also a fact checker, hypocrisy meter and pundit who affects how people view the major players in America’s messy, vital democracy”

The host of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show and frequent mention on Jewcy is an interesting pick for an election year. His Emmy-winning campaign coverage was funny, and at times quite poignant, but we’re not so sure he’s got the chops to compete against the stacked group of foreign policy players in this year’s nominee batch. Plus his pal Steven Colbert was also nominated, so there’s that.

Benjamin Netanyahu:

“Now it’s up to him to help his country achieve a lasting peace in one of the most volatile corners of the world.”

We like Bibi for the win, if only because we’re pretty sure it will cause outsize outrage from all sides. TIME likes to make their picks controversial—sorry, conversation-starting—and he’s right up there on that one. But like our fleeting case of Biber Fever last month, we’re just not sure Bibi’s going to make it all the way to the editor’s finish line.

Michael Bloomberg:

“The hurricane’s destruction prompted Bloomberg, who until then had remained neutral regarding the presidential race, to endorse Barack Obama just five days before the election — and to spotlight, as his rationale, another issue he feels the political process has foolishly ignored: global warming.”

If they go with a Sandy-themed pick, Bloomberg’s got a one-in-three shot of making it—he just needs to beat Jersey governor Chris Christie and Obama, who already won in 2008. Otherwise, he seems like too much of a New York-centric choice. We still love you though, Bloomy.

Sheldon Adelson:

“After Barack Obama won re-election despite those efforts, Adelson — a strong supporter of Israel and Jewish causes, whose fortune Forbes pegs at some $20 billion — shrugged off the checks as the price of doing business. “Paying bills,” he told a Norwegian reporter. “That’s how you spend money.””

They missed the very next sentence of Adelson’s quote, though—you know, the part where he said “Either that or become a Jewish husband — you spend a lot of money.” Gross. Disqualification, please?

Who Should Be TIME’s Person of the Year 2012? [TIME]

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• Filming on the Darren Aronofsky biblical epic Noah, in Oyster Bar, N.Y., was postponed because of Hurricane Sandy.

• From the archives: Five Questions With @ElBloombito, a parody account of Mayor Bloomberg’s spanish skills.

• Speaking of Bloomberg, his ex-wife’s penthouse now costs $5 million more.

• Yowza: Ben Affleck almost directed the Homeland pilot.

• Mitt Romney, not voting for Jewish values.

• Donna Karan’s new book chronicles her late husband’s life and work.

The post Daily Jewce: Filming on ‘Noah’ Postponed, Talking to @ElBloombito appeared first on Jewcy.

• Finally, Israeli lax bros.

• “Wikipedia claims that the first known instance of mooning was recorded by the famous Roman-Jewish historian Josephus in the 1st century A.D.” ‘Nuff said.

• The Washington, D.C. rabbi who’s opening a medical marijuana dispensary.

• French anti-racism groups have settled their suit against Google, whose autocomplete feature—which often suggests the word “Jew” next to certain individuals’ names—they claimed violated French anti-racism laws.

• Judd Apatow offers advice to young folks, revealing that he sounds exactly like Seth Rogen.

The post Daily Jewce: Rabbi Opens Marijuana Dispensary, Jews who Mooned, and more appeared first on Jewcy.

• Speaking of Citi Field, Mike Bloomberg high fives Mr. Met in the best GIF we’ve seen all week.

• New Girl’s Max Greenfield is officially a young Paul Rudd—at least in this upcoming rom-com.

• Rachel Uchitel, formerly known as Tiger Woods’ mistress number one, had a baby.

• Liam Neeson says he gets mistaken for Ralph Fiennes all the time. Must be that whole Schindler’s List thing.

The post Daily Jewce: Behind the Anti-Internet Rally, the Next Paul Rudd, and more appeared first on Jewcy.

• Mayor Bloomberg’s daughter, Georgina, thinks her dad should run for president.

• Joan Rivers on Ben Franklin’s sense of style: “He was a fashion plate, he was smart. He knew how to wear long coats to elongate his chubby little body.”

•Tel Aviv-born artist Maira Kalman illustrates her native city on Israel Independence Day.

• Judd Apatow’s new film, The Five Year Engagement, is out today, and guess what—there’s a yarmulke scene:

The post Daily Jewce: Maira Kalman Draws Tel Aviv, Joan Rivers Talks Ben Franklin’s Fashion Sense, and more appeared first on Jewcy.

• Comedian Chelsea Handler made a vibrator joke in a letter to New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

• Joseph Gordon-Levitt morphs into a young Bruce Willis for his new film, Looper.

• Iris Apfel, 82-year-old fashion icon, on her current popularity: “now all of sudden they carry on like I invented penicillin.”

• The new HBO show Girls is “My So-Called Life if Gilda Radner was in it.”

The post Daily Jewce: HBO show ‘Girls’ Influenced by Gilda Radner, Joseph Gordon-Levitt a Young Bruce Willis, and more appeared first on Jewcy.