Since it’s a Jewish love holiday, why not songs about love (and sex, and relationships) by Jewish artists?  The rule was that at least one songwriter and the vocalist have to be Jewish, (So, Joey Ramone leading the Ramones covering “Baby, I Love You,” by three Jewish songwriters, qualifies).

The result is sort of… bizarre. Jews hold (and have held) a diverse presence in popular music over the last several decades, in pretty much every genre there is.

And so, this playlist has Drake. And Carole King. And Peaches. And Vanessa Carlton. And Neil Diamond. And P!nk. And Lesley Gore. And Matisyahu. And Paula Abdul. And Haim. And Tom Lehrer. And Amy Winehouse. And more.

You can listen below, but just put it on shuffle.  There’s no way to make the order make any sense.

If any of you are bold enough to smooch a partner to this playlist, let us know how that works out for you.

And if you want to hear a bit of this in a room full of other people, we hope to see you at the party tonight!

We give you, AHAVA:

Image credit: Wikimedia

The post A Jewish L-O-V-E Playlist appeared first on Jewcy.

A sach mentshen zehen, nor vainik fun zai farshtai’en: Many people see things but few understand them.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21—FEBRUARY 20):

Ruled by wild and erratic Uranus, Aquarians are associated with inspiration and originality. Your symbol, the water-bearer, is a bit misleading—you’re not, in fact, a water sign, but rather an air sign. But unlike fellow air signs Libra and Gemini, Aquarius is a fixed sign, meaning you possess the intellectual acumen and curiosity of the others but aren’t nearly as mercurial.

Aquarius is also the sign of contradictions. Before the discovery of Uranus in 1781, Saturn was your ruler, representing order and conformity. Uranus, with its unusual rotation and orbit, rules rebellion, risk, and individuality. The planet is associated with invention and innovation, as well as a latent ability to perceive the future—which is what it means to be at the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.

Aquarians are patient, intuitive, devoted, and dependable, yet drawn to the unconventional. Your clear-headed determination and knack for reason make you an excellent reformer. But your detachment from your emotions and dispassionate approach to relationships—as well as your keen memory for detail—often cause you to hold grudges. Your understanding of human nature runs the risk of being purely intellectual. Feh!

The new moon in your sign on February 9 favors innovation, exploration of the unknown, and experimentation. With Saturn in retrograde from February 18 until July 8, consider reexamining any outmoded ways of thinking and dealing with unfinished business—you can do so much more than you thought possible. The love planet Venus is in your sign until February 25th, so expect the thrills of freedom and independence. You might not find your beshert in time for Valentine’s Day, but some trial and error may be enough to awaken those dormant romantic impulses.

Famous Aquarius Jews: Gertrude Stein, Martin Buber, Michael Bloomberg, Neil Diamond, Paul Newman, Seth Green, Louis Zukofsky, Carole King, Philip Glass, Felix Mendelssohn, Jack Benny, Stella Adler, Paul Auster, Jonathan Lethem, Art Spiegelman, Betty Friedan, Darren Aronofsky, Judy Blume, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jerry Springer, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Pauly Shore, Regina Spektor, Zosia Mamet

PISCES (FEBRUARY 21-MARCH 20): Things may get worse before they get better—Aider es kumt di nechomeh, ken oisgaien di neshomeh. Mars and Mercury move into your sign in February, making compassion and dreaming the order of the day. Pisces can be gluttons for punishment, but if you stand up for yourself without equivocating, the people you need most will rush to your side in solidarity.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20): It seems like the universe is conspiring to put all of your plans on the back burner. During February your ruling planet Mars will be transiting through Pisces, the planet of compassion and empathy, which doesn’t exactly jive well with your typical warrior stance. However, ven men darf hoben moiach, helft nit kain koiach—when brains are needed, brawn won’t help.

TAURUS (APRIL 21-MAY 20): You may be feeling cautious in romantic pursuits for fear of rejection, making your prospects appear stalled and limited. But reality is more of a give-and-take than you realized. Before you can experience mekheye, you’ll need do some serious assessment about what you really want out of love.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): While you’ve been trying to focus on your career, mental Mercury’s move into Pisces on February 5 ignites your fantasies and dreams. Practicality may seem boring—if not hazardous—but rather than voglen (wander around aimlessly), be honest with yourself and others about what’s going on in that head of yours.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 20): Cosmic energies are insisting that you broaden your horizons. So ease up and let yourself go—your sanctimonious tendencies often push others away. An epiphanic moment may be in store for you, transforming the way you view your place in the universe.  

LEO (JULY 21-AUGUST 20): Although it seems like everything is working against you right now, this trial by fire could be a blessing in disguise. While domestic matters may take center stage, you’ll be strengthened by the realization that you’re a light that won’t go out. You’re the richtiker chaifetz (the real McCoy), you feisty felines—just hang in there and the method to this madness will eventually reveal itself.

VIRGO (AUGUST 21-SEPTEMBER 20): As charming as you can be, you’re often guilty of haken a chainik (talking for the sake of talking). The only way to get close to people is to interact with mutual regard and empathy. Try listening for a change and the rest will follow.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 21-OCTOBER 20): A wise man once said, “the world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” Since Libra is the sign of balance, you would do well to find a way to mediate between thinking and feeling. After all, heaven and hell can both be had in this world—ganaiden un gehenem ken men baideh hoben oif der velt.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 21-NOVEMBER 20): You’ve been oysgemutshet (worked to death, tired out) for far too long. Don’t hate the player, hate the game: examine the source of your frustration. The truth has many faces—der emess hot a sach ponimer—and admitting that the past just isn’t through with you will help you make the changes you need for a brighter future.

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 21–DECEMBER 20): Freud interpreted the dual nature of Sagittarius as the ego’s way of navigating the warring id and superego. For fiery Sagittarians, it is often oder gor oder gornit (all or nothing). Rather than force something that just wasn’t meant to be, try to rise above the shtuss and learn to love the dueling sides of yourself.

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 21–JANUARY 20): With your ruling planet Saturn in retrograde from February 18 to July 8 and planets moving out of your sign, you may feel a particular sense of loss and confusion. For now, focus on your health—mental, spiritual, physical—rather than gesunte tzores. Gather your strength, for soon you’ll regain equilibrium.

What’s Your Sign?
Capricorn, the Cardinal Earth Sign
Sagittarius, the Adventurous Archer
Stinging Scorpio
Lovely, Lawful Libra
Virgo, the Anxious Maiden
Leo, King of the Jungle

(Art by Margarita Korol)

***

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The post Jewcy Horoscopes: Aquarius, Sign of Contradictions (Jan. 21—Feb. 20) appeared first on Jewcy.

Noah Puckerman (Mark Salling) is the coolest kid at McKinley High. He’s the guy at the beginning of Season 1 throwing Slushies in the faces of the glee club kids (on Glee, Slushee-thrower equals popular person), roaming the halls in his letter jacket and throwing the Marc Jacobs-clad Kurt (Chris Colfer) into a dumpster. But soon he, like fellow football jock Finn (Cory Monteith), joins the glee club—and the rest is spontaneous-bursting-into-song history.

With his good looks and hunky guitar serenades, Puck is McKinley’s resident womanizer. He starts a pool-cleaning business to try and seduce moms. He impregnates Finn’s girlfriend, Quinn (Dianna Agron) in the first season—she blames wine coolers and her having had “a fat day” for her indiscretion. And then he tries to woo Shelby (Idina Menzel), the adoptive mother of their child and a teacher at their school. But thanks to Glee’s ‘anything goes’ plot structure, by the time he graduates at the end of the third season, he’s become a halfway decent guy.

We learn about Puck’s Semitic upbringing in Season 1, when we are introduced to the Puckerman family’s most memorable (and only, really) tradition: watching Schindler’s List while eating moo shu pork on Simchat Torah. Glee really doesn’t do subtle. His mother asks him why he can’t date a Jewish girl, sparking one of the show’s more remarkable dream sequences. In it, overachieving Jewish glee club star Rachel Berry climbs through his bedroom window wearing a nightgown and a gleaming Star of David around her neck.

Of course, in Puck’s dream Judaism is more a means to an end than anything else. “Rachel was a hot Jew and the good Lord wanted me to get into her pants,” goes his epic mid-dream voiceover. Barring the line’s inherent absurdity, the most incongruous part of the statement is his use of the term “the good Lord.” Jews don’t really say that. Puck’s brand of Judaism is distinct—and in contrast with Rachel’s—in how much it is influenced by his predominately Christian surroundings in Lima, Ohio. His expression of faith feels very New Testament. Later in the episode, Puck chooses to show Rachel his commitment to her (and to Judaism, presumably) with what he calls a “personal tribute to a musical Jewish icon:” a performance of “Sweet Caroline”

Rachel’s Jewishness, frequently referenced on the series, is part of why she is constantly made to seem different (Kate Hudson, playing a vicious college dance teacher in Season 4, refers to her only as “Schwimmer”—you know, the Jewish guy from Friends), while Puck being MOT is much more peripheral to his identity. It does, of course, have its plot-driving elements. In Season 2’s “Born This Way” episode, Rachel suffers a kick to the face during dance practice and is given the option of a nose job. After she decides she wants to do it, Puck confronts her in the women’s bathroom at school and tells her to be proud of her Jewish heritage. And that girls at temple always come back after their 16th birthday looking different and less hot. It might just be his character’s most profound cultural commentary. (Spoiler alert: cheerleader Quinn, who has the nose that Rachel wants, had actually gotten a nose job but nobody knew!)

Later, at the mall, Kurt points out that Rachel’s idol, Barbra Streisand, ended up being pretty successful even with her natural nose, at which point the whole Glee gang breaks into a performance of Duck Sauce’s “Barbra Streisand.” A literal end to an overwhelmingly literal episode (they sing TLC’s “Unpretty“), but it works: Rachel cancels her appointment with the plastic surgeon.

As Puck’s character got more three-dimensional, he also neared the end of his senior year. After a touch-and-go finals week (and one My Fair Lady cover), he graduates and moves to Los Angeles, leaving behind broken hearts and pristine pools at the end of Season 3. This season, we got introduced to Puck’s younger half-brother, Jake, who shares a father with the legendary McKinley High alum and so far seems to have the same pre-glee club bad attitude. But instead of the letter jacket, little Puck wears an even more badass leather jacket. By episode two, Puck is back in town to talk some sense into his little brother, who—you guessed it!—ends up joining the glee club.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a Puckleberry Jr. sweeps-week fling. Until then, feast your eyes on this fan-made tribute to the original Puckleberry:

Previously on Network Jews:

Andy Botwin, the promiscuous playboy on Showtime’s Pot Comedy Weeds

Saul Berneson, the CIA Middle East division chief on Homeland

Cristina Yang, Grey’s Anatomy’s Atheist Jew

The post Network Jews: Noah Puckerman, the Coolest Jew in School on ‘Glee’ appeared first on Jewcy.

• Why Jews eat Chinese on Christmas, and how a Brooklyn delicatessen is helping to change that.

• Somebody tries to get snarky about Neil Diamond getting into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but ends up failing.

• Ed Koch basically says New Yorkers are pussies. Thanks a lot old man.

• Kosher meat is coming under fire in Europe.

• Should have invested in Twitter when you had the chance.

• Ethnic tensions in Russia?  I’ve never heard of such a thing.

The post Daily Jewce: Jews Eating Chinese On Christmas, Neil Diamond FTW, Ed Koch FU, Kosher Meat Getting Flamed And More appeared first on Jewcy.

One of the greatest songwriters of the 20th Century finally gets the respect he deserves from the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame:  Neil Diamond was inducted into what I imagine is the coolest class ever to get into the shrine to all things rock — alongside Tom Waits, Alice Cooper and Dr. John.

Now it can officially be said without a hint of snark that Neil Diamond “rocks!”

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