Nicki Minaj did a stellar impression of Beyonce on SNL this past weekend—so good, in fact, that the Jewish world totally overlooked her slightly-less-stellar-but-still-excellent Kim Kardashian impersonation, in which she revealed the big scoop of the holiday season, which we solemnly bring to you now: the story behind the Official Kim K Hanukkah card.

Dressed in a nude body-con dress, her luscious hair extensions cascading over her shoulders, Minaj-as-Kardashian patiently explained the truth behind her beloved/infamous nude photo shoot for Paper Magazine. Apparently, editors “forgot to put the backgrounds in so the photos are completely out of context,” and they’re actually all, like, super-noble public service announcements in service of the betterment of humanity! Like, her oil-slicked body is really “a warning about the new Keystone Pipeline.” And that crazy champagne-parabola pic is actually a “part of a math competition for high school seniors.” (“X equals full frontal!”)

And that final shot of Kardashian exuberantly facing the camera front on, breasts akimbo? “It was going to be my Hanukkah card for my Jewish friends,” Minaj cooed in Kim’s signature vocal fry register. “L’Chaim!”

Quoth Kim: that’s hot.

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Surprisingly, the best part of last night’s American Idol episode wasn’t when Nicki Minaj called fellow judge Mariah Carey a bitch. It was when Israeli singer Shira Gavrielov, daughter of well-known Israeli musician Miki Gavrielov, auditioned, and Mariah Carey threw out a pretty hilarious—yet impressive—slew of Hebrew words.

“I hear you are from Israel,” Carey said to Gavrielov, “Shalom.” Then she went with a “Shanah tova,” which was confusing but still counts.

Gavrielov sang Amy Winehouse’s cover of “Valerie,” and the judges loved it, voting unanimously to send her on to the next round. Nicki Minaj said Gavrielov had the look, voice, and personality make it all the way on the show, adding, “I just want to say that I love you.” Keith Urban, who is apparently an American Idol judge now, said he loved her vibratto.

“Sababa,” Carey chimed as a beaming Gavrielov left the room. Here’s to hoping for a few ‘mazel tovs’ from Carey as the season progresses.

See the diva’s Hebrew skills for yourself, and follow Gavrielov on Twitter here:

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Drake’s bar mitzvah-themed music video for “HYFR,” featuring Lil Wayne and a particularly inspired chair-lifting scene, won Best Hip Hop Video at last night’s MTV Video Music Awards. Even better, Jewcy favorites Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg presented him with the award (it feels like only yesterday Jones and Drizzy were reportedly dating!). Mazels all around, people.

Drake, who took the stage with Wayne, Nicki Minaj, and that guy from the video who looks like he went to your high school, spoke earnestly about his Jewish roots while clutching his brand new moonman statue. “The video is about being me, being black and Jewish,” he told the crowd before dedicating the award to anyone out there “who’s ever had a long walk home by yourself.”

Aw, Drake!

(Image credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

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• A photograph of Mayim Bialik breastfeeding her three-year-old son made it onto the ‘despicable’ end of New York magazine’s approval matrix.

• Robert Caro, whose much-publicized biography on Lyndon Johnson has taken nearly 40 years to write, met his wife at a Hillel mixer in New Jersey.

• Howard Stern steals the show as the new judge on NBC reality show America’s Got Talent.

• Maya Rudolph does a pretty good Nicki Minaj impression.

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