• From the artist who brought us Rahm Emanuel with pancakes on his head, NSFW Mitt Romney art in time for election day. [Flavorwire]

• From Buchenwald clothes washer to bespoke presidential suit maker, the amazing story of Martin Greenfield. [Washington Post]

• There’s a crocodile loose in the sewers of Gaza. Someone get this guy a Twitter account. [Al Arabiya]

• Taylor Swift’s inspirations? Lena Dunham and Gywneth Paltrow, obvi. [Vanity Fair]

• Ivanka Trump’s? Daphne Guinness and Blake Lively. [NY Mag]

• Conan O’Brien found Woody Allen’s Star Wars Episode VII audition tape. [Team Coco]

The post Daily Jewce: Election Day Art, What a Woody Allen ‘Star Wars’ Looks Like appeared first on Jewcy.

I don’t care about food. Sometimes, I’ll forget to eat until three or four in the afternoon, at which point I’ll go to one of two cafes and get the same sandwich I always get. I often have the same meals day in and day out, with only the slightest variety in high-carb intake: instant mashed potatoes, seven minute pasta, raw cookie dough. If I ever tell you I’m going to cook for you, it will be a grilled cheese sandwich, maybe with a flourish of avocado if I’m feeling fancy. Beyond, needing it to live, food is just not a priority.

Growing up, however, I was told that God cared very, very much about what I ate. It was so important that God, and rabbis doing his bidding, created an elaborate set of rules to make sure I kept my body pure. Keeping kosher (kashrut, whatever) is ultimately the greatest divide between Judaism and Western Society, a day-to-day reminder that to be Jewish is to Not Be other things. Big Macs are not yours, Red Lobster is not yours, the food of a hundred other cultures from a hundred countries is not yours, nor are you to touch a piece of it. You have kugel.

I still keep kosher. I have, however, given up most of the other religious beliefs I was raised with. That makes me a kosher atheist, and I’m not the only one. A recent profile of Ezekiel Emanuel, wonder-doc and brother of Rahm and Ari, reveals that he, too, is an atheist who keeps kosher. Lisa Miller picked up on this, and questioned his eating habits in the Washington Post. Determining that Emanuel’s own reasoning is “wobbly,” she concludes that the real reason an atheist would observe these dietary laws is because—wait for it—they aren’t atheist at all! Rather, keeping kosher is a way to remain in contact with the “transcendent parts of life,” whatever those are. It’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to be an atheist. She writes:

Usually when a person ditches religion, he or she also happily ditches the antiquated rules and regulations that go along with a strict observance of faith. Good-bye, stupid rules about who can have sex with whom, and under what circumstances!

Really? That’s what people are thinking about? I’d never claim to speak for anyone else, but my own coming out as an atheist was nothing but painful. I grew up in a proud, loving, religious community. Every aspect of my identity was defined by a religious Judaism: not just who my friends were, but every person I knew, and every activity I participated in. Maybe there’s nothing unique about being raised religious in America, but I remember every detail of it. A lot of that rests on food: Friday night dinners, seders, getting the toys from Happy Meals without the burger.

I also remember slowly starting to realize that none of it was for me. As a kid, I had assumed that no one actually prayed, and when I realized otherwise, it started to become clear the whole God thing wasn’t for me. The summer before college, the big question among the students at my yeshiva was who would stay religious and who wouldn’t. For many, the answer was clear: some were already sneaking in trips to In N’ Out Burger during lunch breaks, and others were going to Israel. It wasn’t until I entered my college dining hall, 3,000 miles away from home, that I first grappled with the question myself.

Faced with endless food options, I backed myself into a pizza-filled corner. I had no fully formed opinions about religion, but figured that I could play it safe by eating only pizza. Breakfast, lunch and
dinner, that’s pretty much how it went for that first year. On spiritual autopilot, my only real crisis came when I won concert tickets—for a Friday night show. Panicked, I called a high school friend, who asked me to weigh what was more important: one night’s fun or 5,000 years of tradition. It was an odd comparison, I thought, but I ended up choosing the latter.

Soon after that, a family friend back home, and a pillar of our synagogue’s community, died suddenly. I ran to American University’s Kay Spiritual Life Center to pray, but as soon as I opened the siddur I realized I felt emptiness in what I was doing. These were words written by wise men from the Middle Ages who didn’t know the man who died, and, even more disturbing, I knew their words were going nowhere. The idea of existence beyond the grave felt, first and foremost, false. All my past hesitations with religion suddenly made sense. I left the Spiritual Life Center knowing that I had no use for it anymore.

There wasn’t any joy in that, at all. No vitriolic triumphalism, no throwing the rule book in anyone’s face, just the knowledge that God wasn’t (and still isn’t) an idea I could accept. It was a very depressing thought, honestly. It led to hours-long conversations with my parents, since I was convinced that with one more explanation of the Jewish people I’d finally understand the concept of faith. I tried to embrace secular Judaism, a disaster which left me crying in a bookstore holding a copy of Hannah Arendt’s Jewish Writings. All I had left were the rules.

And then those fell, one by one. Keeping Shabbos was the first to go; the joys of Saturday Netflix came easily. Hanging out with a mainly Jewish crowd also quickly fell out, as all the kids who went to the Hillel were assholes. It became clear that the thousands of years of tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax, just didn’t mean a whole lot to me.

The one thing that remained were those sticky dietary laws. They felt removed from the culture they had come from, as if my parents had conjured them out of thin air. I was lonely on the opposite coast, and picking out what I did and didn’t eat gave me a tangible connection back to the warmth of Los Angeles. Months became years, and I eventually realized that I had stopped eating meat altogether.

In the profile, Emanuel plays coy about why he still keeps kosher, stating that “Orthodoxy and orthopraxy are not the same.” I’m pretty pleased with that obnoxious non-answer, mostly because it reflects my own uncertainty as to exactly why I keep these rules. Acquaintances are routinely shocked (shocked!) when I tell them I’ve never had the slightest curiosity about oysters, pepperoni slices, or that holiest of holies, bacon. Maybe someday, but I doubt it. And my knowledge about vegetarianism extends as far as the liner notes to Moby’s album 18 (he makes a pretty convincing argument about utilitarianism and the world’s resources).

A friend suggests that Emanuel does what he does because “it annoys people,” which makes sense to me. It’s a way for us to embrace our parent’s traditions and communities on our terms. I wish Miller would look past hokey terms like “transcendental” to describe decisions to remain involved in religious communities. I eventually came to realize that just because I was giving up yarmulkes and the six hundred and thirteen mitzvahs didn’t mean I had to lie about who I had grown up with. Keeping kosher is a concrete way to keep alive the ties to the people who raised me—my parents, my friends, my first community. And there’s nothing more real than that.

Art by Margarita Korol

The post Why I Gave Up God But Still Keep Kosher appeared first on Jewcy.

Gold wields his Judaism as a weapon instead of letting it hold him back in this stereotypically Jewish profession. He’s the type to feign offense at what he could concoct to be an insult or a slur, name-checking his heritage to exact leverage on an enemy when necessary. More than anything, he wants to win, whether it’s an election, a petty rivalry with a law partner, or a match of wits with his ex-wife’s new campaign manager.

The well-dressed Gold is actually played by a rather peculiar Scotland native, Alan Cumming. Known for his flamboyant nature, double entendre name, and pronounced eye makeup, Cumming is the complete opposite of his onscreen persona. The only small trace of the actor in his character is a tendency to get overexcited when passionately talking about something, which usually causes Gold’s carefully styled hair to move independently of his body. Gold is much more normal—and straight—than most of the characters that Cumming has played, and it’s somewhat shocking to discover that he’s just as fascinating when he’s buttoned up.

Gold addresses his Judaism only when provoked, and, since he works in politics, Israel comes up often. He is stubborn and opinionated, and it’s no surprise that his teenage daughter, Marissa (Sarah Steele), would inherit those same qualities. When she suggested that she wanted to move to Israel, Gold promptly rejected the idea as preposterous. Talking up Israel and name-checking his Judaism is largely superficial—Gold is definitely more of a ‘High Holiday Jew’ who’s not particularly observant.

In one example of the show’s constant mirroring of headlines in its plot lines—which have included social networking site scandals and Ponzi schemes—Gold found himself pulled in opposite directions as a metaphor for the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Though the primary thing holding Gold back from defending a Muslim student accused of killing a Jew is the threat of losing financial support from a prominent Jewish group, it’s hardly as deplorable as it seems. Gold may not be subtle about his motivations, but being honest doesn’t make him a bad person. Being cunning and conniving just puts him one step ahead of the rest of the crowd. He may be shrewd and greedy, but unlike most Jews on TV, Gold is far from nebbishy. Anyone watching would rather be him than be one of the people he yells at on a given day.

It’s no coincidence that Gold has been compared to a real-life famous Jew with a similar profession. Rahm Emanuel, former Chief of Staff for President Obama, and brother of Ari Emanuel, the basis for Entourage’s super agent Ari Gold, has quite a reputation for winning at all costs, and Gold has managed to earn that same status in what could easily have been (and originally was) merely a guest-starring role. Gold may reinforce the stereotype of Jews wanting all the power, but he’s definitely someone you’d want on your side.

Previously on Network Jews:

Howard Wolowitz, the nerdy, sex-obsessed engineer on The Big Bang Theory

Paris Geller, Rory Gilmore’s high-intensity, over-achieving friend and foil on Gilmore Girls

Kyle Broflovski, South Park’s Resident Jew

When he’s not working in the world of Jewish outreach, Abe Fried-Tanzer can be found blogging away about movies and television.

The post Network Jews: Eli Gold, The Good Wife’s Political Operator appeared first on Jewcy.

• This Russian billionaire is reenacting the Passover march through the desert this week.

• Rookie editor Tavi Gevinson does not like the green variety of fruit slice candy.

• There’s a South Park Passover episode.

• “If Lucky Charms were a Jewish cereal, would the box have a picture of Rahm Emanuel?”

• We highly recommend skipping the second seder and heading to BAM to see Lena Dunham’s excellently curated ‘Hey, Girlfriend! Lena Dunham Selects’—Clueless and Vamp screen Saturday evening, and Dunham leads a Q&A with Amy Heckerling & Alicia Silverstone after both.

• Happy Passover, from General Ulysses S. Grant.

• Sausage! Get your kosher for Passover sausage!

• No bugs at the seder table, please.

• Why are these seders different? They’re held by Messianic Jews.

• Introducing the Bloody Maror, the ultimate Passover cocktail.

• Kim Ima’s recipe for Passover Apple cake, which she sells year-round from her Treats Truck.

• From the Jewcy archives, Deleon frontman Dan Saks shares his grandmother’s Passover recipes, Emily Goldsher-Diamond explains the joys of Kiglin, and HAVE WE MENTIONED OUR CAT HAGGADAH?

We’ll leave you with Les Matzarables, courtesy of Shalom Sesame. Dayenu!

The post The Only Exodus Round-Up You’ll Need appeared first on Jewcy.

Preparing for the graphic fanfare that the Chicago elections would bring in our coverage, I came across a fascinating artistic venture headquartered in Minnesota and catching art collectors’ eyes internationally via eBay. Forget Mary toast, say hello to Dan Lacey’s Rahm paintings.

Jewcy: Portrayed with lox, what is Rahm saying with his eyes?

Dan Lacey: ‘Come closer and let me share with you what is on my mind.’

J: When did you start putting pancakes and other breakfast foods on celebrities?

DL: My first pancake portrait was of John McCain and was inspired by the Oolong the pancake bunny meme. Before that I drew a webcomic called ‘Faithmouse’ and previous to that I operated an art studio in the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas and contributed role model portraits to a magazine called ‘Saludos Hispanos.’ I stopped drawing the cartoon following a loss of faith and began to paint again, posting paintings for sale on eBay and drawing inspiration from the internet.  The pancake portraits represent created self-context and the absurdity of changeable and impermanent identity. The related Obama Nude On A Unicorn series is the carnalized Messiah-substitute superman.

J: What inspired you to take your brush to Rahm’s face?

DL: I did no such thing.  It would have been rude and perhaps created unnecessary personal jeopardy to approach Rahm with a pointy stick in my hand.

J: Who’s buying these Rahms?

DL: Art collectors from Australia to Serbia. (Including this Toronto blogger who has her Rahm prominently framed.)

J: Do you think you’ll be inspired to paint more kosher gourmet Rahms after the Chicago election?

DL: Rahm needs to win so I can paint him with deep dish pizza.

Commissioned by this Toronto blogger who prominently features her framed Rahm.

The post Jewcy Art: Rahm With Pancakes, Lox, And Bagels On His Head appeared first on Jewcy.

After months of dirty tricks, smack-talking, and a reaffirmation as to why Windy City politics are the most interesting in the nation, the day to vote has finally arrived.  While it’s unclear if a record number of voters are expected to turn out today, or a somewhat lower number than usual, one thing is for certain, the city might have it’s first Jewish mayor.

All times CST.

Last night: @MayorEmanuel is ready.

According to the now famous fake Twitter account, Rahm’s brother, Hollywood power player Ari, arrived to cheer on Team Emanuel:

6:00 AM Let the Games Begin

As he entered Chicago’s Chicken and Waffles on the city’s south side for some last second campaigning, Emanuel ran into supporters of rival, Carol Moseley Braun

7:30 AM Chicago is a hockey rink

“I slipped all the way to the polls,” one voter told me.  “Hoping Rahm or whoever wins will make sure that doesn’t happen again.  It’s an ice storm out there.”

8:30 AM Chico thinks runoff

“We’re looking at April 5, that’s the big circles on our calendar,”says Gary Chico.  Meanwhile, Rahm is out doing last-second handshaking.

9:15 AM Looking back

Redeye takes a look back at the cities last 45 mayors.

9:30 AM Joe the Jewish Plumber

Joe the Jewish Plumber (that’s how he signed the e-mail) from Rogers Park e-mails to tell us, “I never thought I’d see the day when I’d be voting for a Jewish mayor in Chicago.  This city has come a long way.”

9:35 AM Everything gonna be alright?

“I still think Emanuel will get enough of the votes today to avoid April 5,” says Chuck Sudo at Chicagoist.

10:00 AM Mayor meme.

Gapers Block wants to take this election viral.

11:05 AM Greetings from Bucktown

“I don’t care that he’s Jewish.  Rahm is the best choice for mayor.  If anybody thinks otherwise, they are totally insane.”  Sheila from Bucktown writes in to tell us.  We guess we know where her vote went.

11:10 AM Low in some places

The Chicago Tribune is saying some districts are having low voter turnout.

12:30 PM Predictions

Whet Moser of Chicago Mag predicts that “Snow and semi-crappy weather cuts into the ambivalently-for-Rahm vote.”

1:10 PM Red Line love

“Today I met the girl I’m going to marry on the Red Line towards Howard.  Both of us  voted for Rahm.”  Harold from Lincoln Park sends us this tip that would seem earns a big “mazel tov”?

2:00 PM Running smooth

The Chicago Tribune and our reader, Harold, tell us that things are running smooth.

4:30 PM There is power in a union.

Rahm talks to CNN.  Disses Wisconsin Gov. Scott Brown.  Probably can’t hurt to attempt to mobilize a few last second union votes in the Windy City

6:00 PM Winding down

It’s been a “light turnout,” but from what we’re hearing, things are “upbeat” according to one reader with close ties to the Emanuel cam paign.  According to the Ward Room Twiiter, people are already congratulating Emanual, referring to him as “Mr. Mayor.”

7:00 PM Polls closed

Polls closed officially.  People connected to the Rahm campaign are telling me that they don’t think there’s going to be a runoff.  We wish them luck.

7:05 We had to mention it

Can’t help it, but @MayorEmanuel is done.  He wants a beer.

7:30 PM Rahm with a commanding lead

According to the latest Chicago Tribune polls, Emanuel has 51% of the vote, the next closest is Chico at just under 30%.

7:50 PM CNN calls it

According to CNN, Rahm Emanuel is the projected winner.

8:10 PM WGN calls it

Rahm Emanuel is going to become the first Jewish mayor in Chicago history.

The post Rahmpocalypse Now: Will A Jew Run Chicago? appeared first on Jewcy.

• Keeping an eye on the Libyan uprising.

• Jesus won’t save you from Rahmageddon.

• Part 3 of The Guardian’s fantastic series on Spinoza.  Read: Part 1, Part 2

• Why do students want to go to more elite colleges?  Probably because they know they’ll make more money that way.

• Note to self: if you beat up a war criminal in prison, you will never get out of jail.

The post Daily Jewce: Libyan Uprising, Rham, Spinoza, Beating Up War Criminals And More appeared first on Jewcy.

• At The Guardian: A series dubbed “After Tunisia” includes a few piece on Egypt, a couple on Lebanon, a bunch of Palestine, and nearly every country in the Middle East.

• At The Daily Beast: Egyptian police use water cannons on protesters; including Nobel laureate Mohamed ElBaradei

• At The Chicago Tribune: Rahm keeps running.  @MayorEmanuel is thrilled.

• At Listverse: Ten famous people named Adolf that aren’t, ya know, Hitler.

The post Daily Jewce: Post-Tunisia (Sans Israel), Egypt Uses The Water Cannons, Rahm Keeps Running And More appeared first on Jewcy.

• Larry Brown steps down as head coach of the Charlotte Bobcats: is this the end to one of the greatest Jewish coaching careers in basketball history?

• Rahm Emanuel is officially able to embark upon his quest to dominate the mayoral elections in Chicago,

• The office of incoming House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) has created a Twitter account for the lawmaker’s new post:  @CantorPress.  We’re sure you will get lots of exciting news.

• Brett Gelman gives us Jewish Santa.  (NSFW)

• A gallery of people dressed as Krampus, the horrific anti-Santa-Claus who is traditional in Alpine mythology.  Kinda looks like one of those old Jewish devil cartoons.

• Stephen Sondheim visits Michael Rosenblatt on Bookworm.

The post Daily Jewce: Larry Brown Quits, Is Krampus Jewish, Rahm Can Run, Jewish Santa And More appeared first on Jewcy.

• 3 Hebrew boys are going to prison for a long time.

• Rahm Emanuel gets grilled on a chilly Chicago morning.

• The big beef industry is coming for Michael Pollan.

• The late Richard Holbrooke’s quest to get restitution for Holocaust survivors.

• Sarah Glidden’s “How To Understand Israel In 60 Days Or Less” is chosen as one of Jezebel’s favorite comic creators of the year. 

The post Daily Jewce: 3 Hebrew Boys Going To Jail, Pollan Vs. Beef, Holbrooke’s Quest And More appeared first on Jewcy.