Everyone knows the drill by now. Go out to the movies, order Chinese food— it’s the Jews on Christmas way. But don’t just reach for the kung pao chicken on instinct; you should think very carefully about what dishes compliment your cinematic choice this holiday season (whether you eat before the movie, after the movie, or sneak your food into the theater is up to you). Don’t worry; we’re here to help with some suggestions:

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

The Star Wars franchise is classic, so you gotta go classic— have some lo mein. Like Episode 8, it’s loaded with everything, including a few things that might seem unfamiliar, but the noodles/space opera milieu provide a connection to comfort at its core.

Pitch Perfect 3

Egg rolls are a rare Chinese food you can eat with your hands if you need to, so you can keep eating, but stay ready to do choreography on a moment’s notice.

The Greatest Showman

Sweet, indulgent, but ultimately without much substance? You need something fried, my friend. Try the General Tso’s Chicken.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Get the broccoli stir-fry, and imagine that the greens are a tiny jungle! Whether it’s tofu, chicken, or beef, you can have your own tiny edible the Rock wander through its dangerous terrain wondering why they really needed to reboot this movie!

The Shape of Water

If you don’t keep kosher, you gotta go with shrimp dumplings. Appreciate that human/fish-person romance by having one of your own.

Ferdinand

Similarly, heighten the sense of danger our bull hero is in by eating some beef in black bean sauce. Or use this fact to emotionally destroy the child who made you see the film in the first place.

Coco

Of course— you were waiting to see the latest Pixar movie for when they finally took out that stupid Frozen short. So now, celebrate the film’s Mexican heritage by having one of those fusion burrito things with Chinese food stuffed inside. Culturally questionable? Sure. But we’re in too deep, now.

The Christmas Prince

If you want to stay home and watch the Netflix original rom-com to fulfill the mitzvah of a movie on Christmas, just open a box of fortune cookies. Eventually, one of them will say love will find you.

Image via Vimeo

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*Insert Star Wars joke here about a love a long time ago, on a film set far, far away.*

Or, to get right to it, Carrie Fisher reveals in her new memoir, The Princess Diarist (get it?), that during the filming of the first Star Wars film, she had an affair with co-star Harrison Ford. (In case you forgot, both actors are of Jewish descent.) She was 19 at the time, and he was 33.

The fling lasted about three months, according to Fisher, and began after a birthday party for George Lucas.

“I looked over at Harrison. A hero’s face — a few strands of hair fell over his noble, slightly furrowed brow,” her memoir reads. “How could you ask such a shining specimen of a man to be satisfied with the likes of me?”

Girl, please. The new book is based on her diaries from around that time, and good job capturing the voice of an insecure teenager in the presence of a charismatic older man. As much as we’ve all swooned over Harrison Ford, we’ve swooned over you too. Star or no, he’s still just a dude and you were a beautiful young woman over a decade his junior.

Also, Ford was married at the time to Mary Marquadt, with whom he had two children. Yikes.

The fling has been over for nearly forty years, and in that time Fisher and Ford made four more Star Wars movies together, playing out the greatest strained relationship in space opera romance history. And of course, in that time Ford has been married two additional times, and Fisher has been through enough turmoil that in the last decade she’s turned it into an autobiography and a one-woman-show, both titled Wishful Drinking.

But God bless our Space Mom for giving us this enticing information, especially decades later when the emotional impact is no longer quite so intense. It’s good to have new perspective on that Han and Leia chemistry.

Photo: Fisher and Ford together (blocking poor Mark Hamill) in 2015. By Gage Skidmore via Flickr.

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In March, Jewcy reported that up-and-coming actor Alden Ehrenreich was one of three finalists for the role of Han Solo in a new Star Wars prequel film. Well, your prayers and notes in the Western Wall have worked, and Deadline reports that he landed the role!

The boychik is currently in negotiations about the deal, and then, away we go!

On the heels of “Star Wars Day” (“May the fourth be with you”), this is fantastic news. While there is precious little information about the film out yet, we do have an image of Solo’s iconic blaster that Ehrenreich will wield:

Can't wait to get "shooting"!#MayThe4thBeWithYou pic.twitter.com/HlteYut6m0

— Christopher Miller (@chrizmillr) May 4, 2016

If you can’t wait till 2018 for what will likely be called Han Solo: A Star Wars Story to see Alden’s next picture, he has a lot in the pipeline already. For example, keep an eye out for The Yellow Birds, a serious war film.

Meanwhile, um, since the film is taking place before Han meets Leia, does he need a romantic costar?

Image Credit: YouTube

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1. Female Empowerment Vashti

Why not get political in the midst of the latest debate about female nudity as empowerment vs. exploitation? The costume would take very little effort; all you need is, say, a crown and the illusion of nudity everywhere else.  Maybe try a large covering posterboard that says: “This is my choice,” or, “Not for Achashverosh’s eyes.”

2. Star Wars Characters

Is it a bit expected this year?  Maybe, but if you have the dough to drop, it shouldn’t be difficult to buy a readymade look from any costume shop. And Etsy, as it turns out, is full of baby BB-8 costumes.

For women who dress traditionally modestly, Leia’s original white dress is fully covering, and Rey’s look would take perhaps the most minor of tweaks to make it tznius as well. If you bring in one of Leia’s looks from the new film, you and your mom could even dress up together! Aw!

Besides, it is my personal headcanon that Rey is short for Reyzl.

3. Jesus

Purim is about being edgy and subversive, but unfortunately also often displays a lack of effort (serious cosplay at Purim gets a side-eye; I know from experience).  So why not be blasphemous and lazy at the same time with a costume of the Prince of Peace?

Let’s face it.  If you have long hair and a beard, you already look like him.  Just throw on a white robe and some sandals, and maybe carry some wine or matzah, and you’re good to go.

4. A Holy Ark

This one is a bit more detailed.  I dressed as an Aron Kodesh about five years ago, so this may partially be an excuse to brag on it.

My costume base was all black clothing, and on my body I wore a cardboard box that I decorated with marble-patterned contact paper and Hebrew letters like you might see on a real ark.

Then, the reveal. Open your box in the front to reveal a Torah on your torso. Mine was made out of paper, so it was lightweight and quick to make. I added a “Ner Tamid” in facepaint on my forehead, and voila! The ultimate Purim costume that works any year.

5. Donald Trump as Haman

This one is easy.  Wear a suit, orange face-paint, an ugly wig, a triangle hat, and a cartoonish moustache. Wait for a fascist at the megillah reading to get into a fight with you. Before fists start to fly, I suggest you use the line:

“I’m the designated driver tonight.  Good thing I’m only drinking until I can no longer tell the difference between Haman and Trump.”

MAKE PURIM GREAT AGAIN! TRUMP/HAMAN 2016 #trump pic.twitter.com/JwIQQkRVt4

— Rabbi Jason Miller (@RabbiJason) March 16, 2016

Feel free to tweet @Jewcy with any more ideas, or photos of any of these!  You still have a few days, so go go GO!

Image sources: Wikimedia commons, Facebook

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The shortlist has leaked for casting the lead of the new Star Wars spin-off about a young Han Solo, and one of the three young men is Alden Ehrenreich. Even if he doesn’t land the role, you should know (and have an intense crush on) him.

Ehrenreich, 26, was raised in a Reconstructionist Jewish family in Los Angeles, and he has maybe the most Jewish big break since Paul Muni left Yiddish theatre. Young Alden was in a video sketch for a friend’s Bat Mitzvah, and as fate would have it, Steven Spielberg was at the party and liked Ehrenreich’s performance. Soon, an agent, TV appearances, and eventually, film roles.

Ehrenreich’s roles include a lead in the aptly-named Beautiful Creatures, but he’s been in the spotlight lately for his phenomenal turn in the Coen Brothers’ newest film, Hail, Caesar!  Ehrenreich plays cowboy actor Hobie Doyle, known for singing and doing his own stunts. The studio arranges for Hobie to take the lead in a highbrow romantic drama, and he is adorably out of his league.

Enough talk.  Want to fall in love? Just watch this clip:

Final notes to make you melt: When the Hollywood Reporter asked Ehrenreich who his dates would be for the Hail, Caesar! premiere, he responded, “My mom and my nana.” Aw!

Besides, Harrison Ford is of Jewish descent, so it only makes for a young Member of the Tribe to take on the mantle of the scruffiest rogue in the galaxy.

We hope that the force is with young Alden, and that we can see him hanging with a young Chewbacca in 2018.

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Over at Vulture, there’s a revealing, intimate profile of fun. guitarist and songwriter-to-the-pop-stars Jack Antonoff—AKA Mr. Lena Dunham—that’s well worth your time.

Antonoff—who rose to fame in 2012 on the back of fun.’s sweeping, exuberant pop hit “We Are Young“—talks openly about the death of his 13-year-old sister when he was 18, right before 9/11, and how the two tragedies shaped his psyche, his creative life, his germ-phobia (he wipes down airplane seats with anti-bacterial wipes before traveling), and his songwriting ethos. What emerges is a frank portrait of a sensitive, neurotic, likable thirty-going-on-sixty-year-old with a penchant for crazy socks and sweaters. Writes Jada Yuan:

Sarah lost her lifelong battle with brain cancer when she was 13 and Antonoff was a senior in high school, but his adolescence might have been marked even more profoundly by his family’s struggle than her dying, by those memories of hospitals and growing up in constant fear. “It’s not groundbreaking psychological stuff,” says Antonoff of his “germ issues.” “It’s coming from a very obvious place. You know, the scarring on the lung is not a big fucking deal. It’s just that in the context of my life, it just stresses me out. My real sickness is how I deal with it psychologically.” He’s seeing a psychopharmacologist and really needs to find a new therapist, but he gets stressed out thinking about starting over—not because he has a problem bringing up painful things but because of “the boredom of catching someone up.” He laughs. “Anyway, long answer to your question about why I drink tea. You realize that’s how this started, right?” We’ve been talking for only ten minutes.

We also learn that Antonoff can pull off “vaguely Nazi looks,” like a shaved head, because his face is “so Jewish.” His mom still buys him lunch, even though he’s a platinum-selling artist. And at his parents’ place in New Jersey he has a walk-in closet filled with Star Wars tchotchkes, which spill “out of three full bookcases and guarded by life-size cardboard cutouts of a Storm Trooper and Obi-Wan Kenobi.” His bar mitzvah, not surprisingly, was Star Wars-themed. It’s a credit to Antonoff that this detail is neither tragically nerdy nor annoyingly twee—it’s just endearing, like he is.

Image: Mat Hayward / Shutterstock.com

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J.J. Abrams, the force behind “Star Wars: Episode VII,” is offering one lucky fan the chance to win a walk-on role on the super-secretive set of the movie. All you have to do is give a bit of tzedakah, via the ‘Force For Change’ charity campaign the director is spearheading for UNICEF.

“We want to put you in the movie, in Star Wars,” Abrams explains in the promo video. “You get to come to London, where we’re shooting the movie mostly at Pinewood Studios…You’ll get to meet the cast, go behind the scenes, and see the whole movie-making process. But more than that, we’ll put you in hair, makeup and wardrobe, and you’ll actually get to be in the movie.”

Various items are being auctioned off Kickstarter-style—there’s a ‘Force for Change’ t-shirt for $100, and an advance private screening for you and 20 of your best friends for a cool $50,000. (If only.) Happily, everyone who donates $10 or more enters the draw to win the set visit.

Money raised will benefit UNICEF’s Innovation Labs, which supports the development of all sorts of cool gadgetry to improve the lives of children in developing countries, like solar-powered learning kits, and mobile phone apps to help reunite families in the event of an emergency.

Click, donate, and may the force be with you. (C’mon, I had to.)

Image: Omaze

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• From the artist who brought us Rahm Emanuel with pancakes on his head, NSFW Mitt Romney art in time for election day. [Flavorwire]

• From Buchenwald clothes washer to bespoke presidential suit maker, the amazing story of Martin Greenfield. [Washington Post]

• There’s a crocodile loose in the sewers of Gaza. Someone get this guy a Twitter account. [Al Arabiya]

• Taylor Swift’s inspirations? Lena Dunham and Gywneth Paltrow, obvi. [Vanity Fair]

• Ivanka Trump’s? Daphne Guinness and Blake Lively. [NY Mag]

• Conan O’Brien found Woody Allen’s Star Wars Episode VII audition tape. [Team Coco]

The post Daily Jewce: Election Day Art, What a Woody Allen ‘Star Wars’ Looks Like appeared first on Jewcy.

The post Celebrate Star Wars Day with a Darth Seder appeared first on Jewcy.

• J.J. Goldberg discusses New Yorker editor David Remnick and other pro-Israel journalists giving up on defending Israel.

• Germany is urging Iran to free imprisoned journalists.

• Michael Wex (author of Born to Kvetch) guest blogs over at the Jewish Book Council.

• If you’re curious about the comics to look out for in 2011, here you go.

• What Star Wars can teach your kids.

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