The new Hulu show The Handmaid’s Tale – based on the novel of the same name by Margaret Atwood – is, like other dystopian stories, a warning. It paints a picture of a possible future society in which women are fired from their jobs, their money is taken by the government, and they’re forced into servitude to men. Their oppression is perpetuated by strict rules like dress codes and curfews. At first glance, anyone could call this future ridiculous and impossible. But the point of portraying these hypothetical societies is to to take a critical look at our own: our culture in anyway similar to The Handmaid’s Tale, in which we oppress women?

The answer is, obviously, yes. Women are policed all the time, from their reproductive choices to their clothing choices. And a recent example in the New York ultra-Orthodox community looks like a step down the road towards the dystopic nation of Gilead.

Recently, an all-girls Haredi high school called Bnos Menachem in Crown Heights issued a dress code. It’s not unusual for a school to require this of their students, but this time, it wasn’t for their students. It was for the moms of their students.

The school had an already-established dress code for parents, which included covering the elbows and collarbones, covering their feet, and wearing a sheitel. (The policy also requires parents to agree to a “TV free home policy,” and to monitor and restrict videos and Internet usage.) Apparently, the women must have been taking extreme advantage of the leeway in this policy, because Bnos Menachem decided to step it up a notch – or twelve.

The school sent home a new policy with a letter to the moms (for both the mothers and fathers to sign) with requirements like, “shaital length should not exceed the shoulder blades,” (the underlining meaning they’re serious,) and, “nail polish should be conservative/soft colors.” Because of course, the louder nail polish colors might incite women to have a voice and speak out against bullshit.

Unfortunately for Bnos Menachem, that didn’t work. Women of the community began sharing their opinions about the new restrictions. Some were infuriated, but some were definitely less triggered. Of course, men, as they are wont to do, weighed in on the woman’s issue as well. Crownheights.info, a news website for Haredi Jews, became the main forum for people to write in and give their two cents.

One woman who opposed the new policy from within the community was Chaya Sara Waldman. She asked how “a man, especially a frum man and a chossid – could ever imagine it appropriate to speak to a woman about her body?” (Yaaas, Chaya Sara!) She argued that other issues are more pressing of the community’s attention than whether a woman’s skirt is cotton or denim:

“To me, more appalling than denim, is the eight-year-old boy who has been bullied since he was four. More obscene than a three-year-old girl’s bare calf, is the shameless conspicuous consumptionism [sic] of a bar mitzvah I recently attended… More dreadful than red nail polish, is the silent serpent of poverty that poisons the happiness of young families who can barely make ends meet… More alarming than a tight skirt is the rampant consumption of alcohol by our children in yeshivos.”

One man who couldn’t resist weighing in was Rabbi Avrohom Brashevitzky. Rather than commenting on whether he agreed with the policy, he chose to address the people who were angered by it. He argued that parents have a choice in which school they send their children to, writing, “you don’t like the school – you don’t send your child there.” He also provided a metaphor of following an airline’s instructions while flying to following the policies of a school.

“Imagine buying an airline ticket and demanding consideration from the airline for your own choices, such as not using the seat belt or to remain standing in the aisles for entire duration of the flight. If you CHOOSE to fly – you have to follow the rules! No one is forcing anyone to travel; certainly not with a particular airline.”

Regardless of what Rabbis or other women think, it’s important to listen to the people this directly affects–the mothers of Bnos Menachem. One wrote an op-ed anonymously. She agreed with Rabbi Brashevitzky – she thinks that the school has a right to set their standards. However, she also believes that woman should be able to look fashionable. “I want my daughter to feel pretty and confident and not to be embarrassed of her mother who looks like a ‘nerd,’” she wrote. While the school argued that the dress code for mothers will allow them to be role models for their daughters, this mom argued that it’s in being “beautiful and Tznius” that she’ll encourage her daughter to have similar values.

You could say that this woman, who believes in “classy, light colors only” for her nail polish and chose to speak anonymously, shows internalized sexism. But that wouldn’t be a feminist standpoint. She has a choice, and can choose a life of religiosity and modesty. But I still wonder if she’s just drinking the kool-aid.

At least the girls of Bnos Menachem wear uniforms. I hope they’ll be able to put of the stress of picking out the right skirt – and deciding whether dress codes are empowering or oppressive – for at least a little longer.

Photo from a fascinating piece from Lehraus, about the oft-used facetious argument that strict modesty rules are the way it’s always been, when instead there’s been revisionism to hide a more liberal past. The above photo was photoshopped to give sleeves to Bais Yaakov girls in the 1940s.

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War, what is it good for? Policing female bodies, apparently.

COLlive.com reports that women in the Chabad enclave of Crown Heights, New York are organizing a tznius (modesty) contest for girls “in the merit of the safety of Israel.”

Beginning July 20, Project EDEN (which stands for “Eat Ice Cream and Defend Eretz Yisroel Now”) will encourage day camp attendees between the ages of 3 and 12 to wear modest clothing that keeps “necklines, elbows, knees and feet covered at all times.” The clothing compliant will then receive cards they can trade in for “great prize incentives,” like ice-cream and raffle entries. Why? Well, the Lubavitcher Rebbe saw a direct correlation between modesty and God’s protection, so… encouraging pre-pubescent girls to cover themselves up in the peak of summer seems like the natural next step towards a ceasefire, no? Because as we all know, there’s a causal relationship between the collarbones of 4-year-old girls and Hamas’ weapons cache.

Meanwhile, female visitors to the rabbinate in Ashdod, Israel, were initially blocked from entering the building’s bomb shelter on modesty grounds. MK Stav Shaffir told The Forward that her staffer observed a sign on the door that read “For men only.” Turns out the women’s shelter “was just a regular room, with windows and plaster walls and no indications of protection from rocket attacks.” SO NOT A SHELTER AT ALL, THEN. Writes Elana Sztokman:

In response to women’s exclusion from the bomb shelter in the Ashdod rabbinate, MK Stav Shaffir filed an urgent complaint with the Religious Affairs Ministry, demanding to put an immediate halt to the segregation. “The idea that women seeking shelter from a rocket barrage are met with a closed door is untenable,” she told Yediot Ahronot. “Discrimination against women is unacceptable under any circumstances, but when this discrimination prevents women from protecting themselves, it’s not only unacceptable but also dangerous.” Apparently the administration of the rabbinic courts was unaware of the exclusion, and responded to Shaffir’s query with embarrassment. “It was a local initiative of an employee acting without formal authority,” they responded. “The rabbinical court views such attempts at gender segregation in a very severe light and will take serious actions against those involved.”

Just keep those elbows covered, ladies.

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The BallaBuster is Dvora Meyers‘ biweekly column about all things Semitic and womany.

Earlier this month, Saige Hatch began a modesty crusade at her high school in Southern California. In response to Hatch’s newly-created modesty club, the city of South Pasadena set aside an entire week to encourage their young girls to resist pressure from popular culture and dress with “dignity.” While some of Hatch’s arguments are perfectly reasonable—the media does commodify women’s bodies in order to sell products—the movement’s agenda is decidedly not progressive. Unless, of course, it’s considered forward thinking to tie a woman’s dignity to her sartorial choices.

More problematic, however, than this 15-year-old’s well-intentioned attempt to get her classmates to cover up is the recent proliferation of blog posts written by adult women proudly defending their choice to show less skin as a feminist, progressive act—while also subtly putting down women who choose to show some cleavage and a little leg. In short, modesty apologia.

These types of essays and blog posts seemed fairly innocuous at first. A woman—sometimes Orthodox and sometimes not—testifies about how covering up makes her feel good about herself. Seems pretty positive, right?

But the problem with these essays is that the authors frequently don’t restrict themselves to their own subjective experiences. Rather, the writers pass judgment on how other women dress by insisting that covering up isn’t just optimal for her, as an individual, but also helps her earn respect. And here I thought people should judge me based on my ideas, actions, or even my taste in television shows.

Last month on XOJane, Chaya (who made waves a few months earlier with a blog post insisting that Hasidic women were more empowered and liberated than they’re portrayed to be) wrote a defense of modest dress that typifies a lot of the modesty apologia I find so troubling. In describing how modest dress made her feel better about her size, Chaya included this little gem: “Not only did I feel better about myself by keeping my body for me, but I also felt more beautiful.”

I am super happy that Chaya (and the other women she quotes) have found a mode of dress that makes them feel beautiful and confident. What I take issue with, however, is how she connects her decision to cover up with the ownership of her body. Naked or clothed, your body always belongs to you and never to anyone else. Someone else seeing your breasts doesn’t transfer ownership of them to that person.

Anyone who has been educated in the Orthodox community—at practically every level—knows that the rules of tznius, or modesty, are not bound up in liberation, no matter what sort of modern-day apologetics are used to explain the strictures, but in patriarchal control. Women are taught to cover up what rabbis, over generations, have deemed sexually titillating.

We’re told to think of the men on the street and how they perceive us, especially our Jewish brothers who have been commanded to think only about Torah 24/7. We’re taught that men cannot fully control their thoughts when they see us women, especially if we are immodestly dressed, and therefore the burden falls to us to manage our appearance and minimize their temptation.

During one of our innumerable lessons about feminine modesty, a high school classmate challenged the teacher, asking her why we have to modify our behavior simply because men cannot control their own thoughts and actions.

“You don’t know how hard that is for the boys. When they see a girl, all they can think about is sex,” the female teacher explained. To further illustrate her point, our teacher quoted Leviticus: In front of a blind person, do not place a stumbling block.

In this setup, males are blind and females are obstacles (literally, objects). A blind person can’t be held responsible for tripping over an obstacle, right? And if the object doesn’t want to become a stumbling block, it better get the hell out of dodge by not walking alone at night dressed like a slut.

My teacher certainly wasn’t condoning sexual violence, but in the way she explained the need for feminine modesty she was reaffirming and perpetuating the idea that men cannot be fully accountable when it comes to their behavior around women.

Equally troubling, Chaya’s essay contains dubious claims about how women’s dress illustrates their sense of self-worth. She quotes one woman who says this:

When a person is comfortable with her sexuality, she can much more easily dress modestly. When people have complexes about it, and are trying to prove themselves, and are not comfortable in their own skin, that’s when they have a problem covering up.

If you’ve ever been a teenage girl who felt fat and hid under baggy clothes, you might be tempted to call bullshit on this assertion. My most modestly-clothed years were also the years I was the most insecure about my body. I was wearing long skirts at the time, but I often wished for even more layers of sartorial camouflage.

I don’t fault tzniut rules for how I felt about my appearance. There were many forces at work, including my age. At my body hate nadir, I was in my teens, a particularly trying time for any girl, Orthodox or otherwise. During those years, self-consciousness is the rule, not the exception.

But as I’ve gotten older and more comfortable with my body and sexuality, I’ve dressed less modestly, not more. I especially favor backless shirts because they show off my muscular back—something I’ve worked hard for as a gymnast—and the scar from spinal surgery that I consider particularly badass. Our bodies are the keepers of our personal narratives and that scar, which runs from just above my bra line down to the base of my spine, is a visceral reminder of a major medical crisis and my ability to bounce back from it.

Of course, that isn’t what I’m thinking every time I don a backless top—sometimes I just think it looks hot. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s okay if a guy looks at me and finds me sexually attractive. I’m a full-fledged human being and my sexuality is a part of all that human goodness. God knows, I spend a good chunk of my subway commute scanning the car for hot guys to glance at surreptitiously while reading or listening to music. No one suggests men modify their dress or appearance to ward off the libidinous thoughts of women. If that were true, all guys would immediately grow soul patches.

Unlike the woman quoted in Chaya’s essay, who sees a woman dressed immodestly and instantly makes all sorts of assumptions her self-esteem, when I see a woman who is covered up, I don’t assume that she’s prudish or oppressed. Liberation isn’t a mode of dress. I feel liberated when I have an intense intellectual debate with a worthy opponent. I feel liberated when I dance, whether it’s in front of others or by myself. And I always feel fantastic when I dance in drop crotch leopard-print pants because they are awesome. I hope she feels as good in her clothing as I do in those ridiculous pants.

To a certain extent, I sympathize with the writers of modesty apologia. They, too, are bombarded by messages from advertisers about what constitutes feminine beauty. They know their way of dress does not conform to mainstream notions of sexual appeal. These blog posts are often their way of saying, “Guess what? I’m beautiful and look good, too!”

I heartily agree with that sentiment. You—in the long sleeves and skirts and hats and scarves—are beautiful and deserve to feel good about yourselves. But you are not more dignified or more deserving of respect than the women whose hemlines are higher or whose necklines plunge deeper. Respect and dignity should always be determined by our actions and the content of our character, not the contents of our closet.

Previously: Olympic Gymnast Gabby Douglas’ Jewish Past
Feeling Out My Post-Shomer Negiah World

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I have no idea why the powers-that-be at the Gap and other stores decided that season that covered elbows were “in.” But my friends and I were grateful that, for once, we could shop in the same chain stores as the rest of the country and be part of what, in retrospect, was a really ugly moment in fashion history.

Another such moment is now upon us. As this BuzzFeed article observes, it has never been a better time to be a fashion forward Orthodox Jewish female. Decreed by designers, retailers, and trend-setters—reality TV star Olivia Palermo, stylist Rachel Zoe and the regal Kate Middleton among them—modesty (or tznius, as Ashkenazic Jews are wont to say) is officially back in style.

The necklines are higher and the hemlines longer. The fabrics are less clingy. It is finally possible for an Orthodox (or Mod-Ortho) Jewish girl to walk down the street and not be immediately identified as such, blending in with the rest of the young, hip set.

(I’ve got an internal chip that is like one of those police scanners but instead of picking up on the presence of a cop car, I can distinguish a skirt-wearing Orthodox girl from the general skirt-wearing population. Same goes for sheitels, the wigs that married Orthodox women wear. No matter how expensive they are, I can pick them out from a mile away. I’m like a bomb sniffing dog for wigs.)

Unlike many in the ultra-Orthodox and Hasidic camps, some more mainstream Orthodox folks do wish to be able to slip into the wider society every once in a while. Many go to secular colleges and are avid consumers of pop culture. They live tantalizingly close to the mainstream and though they put religious priorities above all else, they are still greatly affected by Madison Avenue. When congruous with religious law, they want to be part of American culture.

But designers are probably not responding to Orthodox girls’ deep seated desire to blend in. So this begs the question—what exactly is driving this current mainstream fashion trend to cover up?

I like to (wholly and unoriginally) call this the Brooklyn Hipster Effect. Though hipsters are much maligned and the term itself has practically become a punch line, certain fashion sensibilities of the Williamsburg kids have taken root and started to influence threads not found in a thrift store. Their sartorial challenge: I’m going to pilfer the racks of this secondhand shop for other people’s cast offs and layer practically to the point that it seems like I’m wearing my entire wardrobe all at once—and dare you to not find it sexy and alluring. And so far, it’s been working. No need for cleavage and knees here.

But can the influence of Brooklyn hipsters last forever? Odds are, no. Fashion is nothing if not constantly evolving. Some day real soon those aspiring artists will decide that overt is sexy and the plunging necklines and tight fitting clothing will return. And failing that, I’m sure that the spandex-loving 80s trend will reassert itself in, say, 2018. (Just a guess.)

So, frum girls, do as my circle of friends did all those years ago—stock up. Buy those skirts and blouses in every color and texture, because this too shall pass.

Dvora Meyers is a freelance writer based in Brooklyn. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Slate, Salon, Tablet and several other publications. She is the author of the essay collection Heresy on the High Beam: Confessions of an Unbalanced Jewess and blogs at Unorthodox Gymnastics. You can find Dvora on Twitter here.

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