Well, that was exhausting.

Round One of our Jewish Celebrity March Madness had some predictable results (did anyone really think Jake Tapper could take the Notorious RBG?), but also some upsets, and some really close races.  Here’s a recap of just a few showdowns:

• Neither member of Broad City is making it past the first round! Abbi and Ilana won’t have to go head to head.
• Winona Ryder held a lead on Rachel Weisz until the last few hours of the competition, and then BOOM! Ditto a last-minute reversal taking the round from Paul Rudd and giving it to ScarJo.
• Bette vs. Babs? Dylan vs. Joel? Bette, and Joel, it turns out.
• In a stunning turn of events, Drake is out in the first round! Let’s hear it for Daveed Diggs!
• Bernie loses, yet again, though this was much closer than the 2016 primaries.

And so, we present to you, the Round 2 bracket:

Go ahead and vote below; you have until Friday morning the 24th, 9 a.m. Eastern Time. Also, keep tweeting us angrily (new hashtag— #JewishCelebs); you had the moral high-ground for Round 1, but now, these are your picks.

And is the anticipation killing you? Well, if you sign up for emails below, you’ll have the results of Round 2 emailed to you, before Round 3 is live:

THE ACTORS:

THE MUSICIANS:

MOVERS AND SHAKERS:

OTHER:

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We need to talk about sexy Jewish punks.  Why don’t we talk about them more?

After all, this year marks the fortieth anniversary of the Ramones releasing their debut, eponymous, groundbreaking album. But of persisting American-Jewish stereotypes, one of the least-prevalent is that of the grimy, ragamuffin kid causing trouble around town.

Well, let’s call it an archetype; there are others based on fact; we remember the Bugsy Siegels, so-called “Tough Jews,” bad men who did bad things, like, ya know, murder. But too-often we forget the, well, punks, teenage boys in leather jackets who smoked cigarettes that you would never take home to mom but fooled around with under the bleachers whilst skipping class.

(I never experienced anything remotely like this, but with the Ramones it was fun, and easy, to pretend.)

But for Pete’s Sake, who do you think was hitching a ride to Rockaway Beach? It’s fairly common knowledge that two of the original Ramones were Jewish (Tommy was even the son of Holocaust survivors), but their grungy rock personas weren’t created out of thin air. They were an ethnic minority, kids or grand-kids of immigrants, living in New York City and causing trouble.

Jews didn’t stream out of the tenements and onto manicured lawns; there was often in-between. The Ramones’ Forest Hills neighborhood of their youth, for example, was heterogeneous, and even for their more well-to-do peers, it was still somewhat urban.

In “Only the Good Die Young,” Billy Joel is the scruffy Jewish kid from the wrong side of the tracks seducing the nice Catholic girl. But he’s really convinced people that he’s Italian (I hear it all-too-often), because of his time hanging with blue-collar crowds growing up on Long Island. (Remember, the Ramones had the Italian persona, too, with that stage name.)

While this reality isn’t extinct today (blue-collar or lower-class Jews are a thing, people), maybe we started to drift away from it as one wave after another rose socioeconomically. After the Ramones, we got the Beastie Boys, and while they were scruffy and petulant, too, they were a bit more winking, and they tended to hail from more privileged families than the Ramones.

Pouring through Jewcy‘s old “Jews Who Rock Wiki,” it’s really amazing how many punk or rock bands we’ve helped forge.  So why are these groups seen as anomalies, as “Hey, did you know at least one Jew participated in rock and roll?”

“Punk is Jewish,” Steven Lee Beeber says in The Heebie-Jeebies at CBGB’s: A Secret History of Jewish Punk, “Not Judaic. Jewish, the reflection of a culture that’s three millennia old now. It reeks of humor and irony and preoccupations with Nazism. It’s all about outsiders who are ‘one of us’ in the shtetl of New York.”

So why does Jewish sex appeal today have to be of the quiet, nerdy variety, or the goofy, dorky sort? Andy Samberg’s musical career comes from the humorous juxtaposition of an awkward weirdo-persona making the music associated with being suave or tough. Lou Reed was suave enough on his own, thank you very much.

Listen, there’s nothing wrong with loving a Motel Kamzoil, but don’t forget that Perchik is there, too, and he’s bringing the revolution.

So it’s forty years since the Ramones. And for someone born only five years before they broke up, they’re undeniably retro. But my crush on these old-timey (to me) hooligans is part of my New York Jewish identity. I barely went out to anywhere but school, synagogue, and USY when I was a teenager. But it’s fun to pretend that the bad boys next door (a mixed group of Jewish and not) would sneak me out of the house for a different, equally authentic Jewish experience.

(Except for Johnny. Forget that Nazi-obsessed weirdo.)

Image via Wikimedia

The post Rock ‘N Roll and the Jewish Bad Boy appeared first on Jewcy.

Billy Joel to play monthly concerts at New York City’s Madison Square Garden

If there’s one universal truth, it’s that even a little Billy Joel is too much Billy Joel. It seems, however, that New York City disagrees. The balladeer has signed a deal to play monthly (!) concerts at Madison Square Garden for “as long as the audience demands.” To be clear, if you didn’t get enough Billy Joel at the January concert, you can pay real dollar bills to hear him play again in February, March, and April. The New York Daily News reports:

The Garden must anticipate the demand will be great since they simultaneously announced Tuesday that Joel will become their first ever musical “franchise.” That appointment turns Joel into the Garden’s fourth pillar, equal to its three sports teams: the Knicks, The Rangers and the Liberty.

Disconcertingly, the first four dates are already sold out. Under the florescent lights, thousands will sing the “Piano Man” and Walt Frazier’s retired jersey will cover its figurative ears.

In other concert news, Lady Gaga will play Israel in summer 2014. And, in 2014, Billy Joel will probably still be playing concerts in MSG.

(Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty)

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Far an akshen iz kain refueh nito: For the disease of stubbornness there is no cure.

TAURUS (APRIL 21- MAY 20): Taurus, the bull, is a fixed earth sign, often depicted with its horns pointing upward toward God. These ‘horns of the law,’ confer the Taurean bull with godly power and moral authority. Taurus is an important sign during Shavuot, the festival of the giving of the Torah, as Kabbalists believed Taurus to represent the law of the Torah. Furthermore, the four rivers of the Garden of Eden are thought to represent the four fixed signs: Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius.

Taurus is ruled by Venus, the goddess of love. As Taurus extraordinaire William Shakespeare wrote in Twelfth Night, “Shall we set about revels? What shall we do else? Were we not born under Taurus?” Often thought to be hedonistic fools for love, due to both a love of pleasure and material delights, Tauruses often need someone to take them by the horns.

Tauruses are substantial, practical, lovers of luxury, bluntly direct, and sensuous. You have the power to heal and soothe others, and are hypothetically relaxed yourself—but strong currents of nervousness run below the surface. Although you are usually reserved, you can be pushy, with a tendency toward backseat driving if you think you know what’s best for others. You would do well to me darf leben un lozen leben—live and let live. As your fellow Taurus Barbra Streisand says in Yentl, “Why is it people who want the truth never believe it when they hear it?”

Taurus governs the throat and neck; that is, you serve the head (ruled by Aries) and can be quite obedient, prefering to wait for something than to run after it. Although you are uncomfortable taking risks, you have great determination to stick to a course of action. This is usually a good thing, but can mean you obstinately refuse to change. Ask advice from everyone, but act with your own mind: Barat zich mit vemen du vilst; un tu miten aigenem saichel.

Mars in Taurus from April 20 to May 31 will give reinforce your bullish strength, while Mercury in Taurus from May 1 to May 15, will help you focus your mental energy on the material, earthly things. Now is the time to make way for new ideas, which will come in handy when Mercury enters its home sign, Gemini, from May 15 to May 31.

Famous Taurus Jews: Sigmund Freud, Karl Marx, Golda Meir, Barbra Streisand, Jerry Seinfeld, Mark Zuckerberg, Theodor Herzl, Bea Arthur, Irving Berlin, Billy Joel, Burt Bacharach, Howard Da Silva, Hank Azaria, Elaine May, Phil Silvers, Don Rickles, Lainie Kazan, Nora Ephron, Maya Deren, Tori Spelling, Aaron Spelling, Charles Grodin, David Krumholtz, Genya Ravan, Lena Dunham, Tavi Gevinson, Saul Bass, Jack Klugman

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): Take comfort in the fact that planets will be moving into your sign in the coming weeks. However, be careful with your words when Mercury moves from Taurus to Gemini, one of its home signs, on May 15. You’ll feel a sudden jolt in your imagination, which has heretofore been a bit farshluggineh (literally, shaken or mixed). Use this energy wisely. Gemini rules talk and news (read: gossip), but don’t let your inner yenta get the best of you.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 20): Cancers, ruled by the moon, are often emotional and moody—if not downright pessimistic. Just when it seems like life is adding up to bupkis (absolutely nothing), the new moon Eclipse in Taurus on May 9 will help bring you back down to earth. There’s a difference between being realistic and giving yourself over to needless suffering! Meanwhile, avoid any major commitments (signing a contract, etc.) for the time being; wait until closer to the middle of the month to tie up loose ends.

LEO (JULY 21-AUGUST 20): What can be said about Leo that hasn’t already been said about America’s Next Top Model? You regal beasts are fierce! Not that there’s anything wrong with that—and to you flashy Leos that’s nisht geshtoygen, nisht gefloygen (neither here nor there; it doesn’t matter). You’ve been in a fugue for far too long, now is your time to shine. Ruled as you are by the sun, you should take pride in the fact that you were put on this earth to give light—and your creative force can do just that.

VIRGO (AUGUST 21-SEPTEMBER 20): You think you know what’s best for everyone? You muttelmessig (meddlesome person, kibbitzer) Virgos can be so pushy! Der kluger bahalt dem saichel; der nar veist zein narishkeit (a wise man conceals his intelligence; the fool displays his foolishness), and it would be wise for you to keep your advice to yourself for once. With your ruling sign, Mercury, in Gemini (also ruled by Mercury) from May 15 to May 31, try to reign in your desire to tell people what they should be doing. Instead, with Venus entering Gemini on June 1, tell them how they make your life more bearable!

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 21-OCTOBER 20): Libras are guilty of being almost too forgiving of others—letting people walk all over you for fear of changing the fabric of your life. You may be a yiddisher kop (smart person), but the shtuss (a minor annoyance that arises from nonsense) you’ve put up with makes you seem like you’re dangerously close to becoming the ill-fated schlimazel. On May 9, the new moon eclipse in Taurus offers you a chance to start a new chapter in your life. Whether this means relocation or finally putting your foot down, stand up for yourself and how you want your life to proceed.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 21-NOVEMBER 20): The full moon lunar eclipse in your sign on April 25 had you waiting on tenterhooks. As always, Scorpio assumes vos veyniker men ret, alts gezinter iz (the less said, the better – lit., the less you speak, the healthier). Your ruling planet Pluto’s continuing retrograde isn’t helping much to get you out of hiding. However, Scorpio boasts two out of the three Beastie Boys (MCA, may he rest in peace, was a Leo) giving you extra incentive to fight for your right to party!

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 21-DECEMBER 20): Everyone knows the old adage that those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it, nu? With your ruling planet Jupiter in Gemini, which is considered to be quite lucky, you will find resolving tense issues from the past much easier. Make the most of it! However, because Sagittarians require a great deal of freedom, you may find working on relationships alle ziben glicken (not what it’s cracked up to be; lit. all seven lucky things). Fuhgeddaboutit! Relationships will be a big focus this year—while the grass is always greener, try to stay positive about what you’ve got.

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 21- JANUARY 20): Take a cue from David Bowie, the Capricorn glam king chochem (genius): turn and face the strange changes. While may be consistently rockin’, you never know what life will throw your way—but you can prepare yourself for the possibilities. Az me muz, ken men: when one must, one can! Since you can’t fight change, continue to work on resolving past issues. for you capricious Capricorns, di shversteh arbet iz arumtsugain laidik: the hardest work is to go idle.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21- FEBRUARY 20): Deigeh nisht: don’t worry so much, Aquarius! It’s time to put on your dancing shoes—the energy on May 18 is favorable for finally letting loose! Venus, the planet of love, forming a favorable angle with your ruling planet Uranus heralds the possibility of a surprising night of fun! Although you Aquarians are turned off by anything too shmaltzy, you can still mach a leben (have fun) and still be true to yourself

PISCES (FEBRUARY 21-MARCH 20): Because your head is often in the clouds, you are prone to taking bubba meisah (old wives tales) too literally. Before you spit three times (to ward off the evil eye), take a look at what’s in front of you. Although the other signs of the zodiac could take imagination lessons from you, it can become dangerous if you close yourself off to reality completely. Spend too much of your time contemplating yeneh velt (the other world; the world to come), and you’ll miss the best that this world has to offer.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20): With your ruling planet Mars in Taurus from April 20 to May 31, your impulsiveness will slow down considerably. However, it will be replaced with stamina and endurance. Trigger-happy though you may be at any other time of the year, now you will be forced to consider the consequences of your actions. Men iz dir moichel di t’shuveh, nor tu nit di avaireh: never mind the remorse, don’t commit the sin!

What’s Your Sign?
Aires, the Headstrong Fire Sign
Pisces, the Dual-Natured Water Sign
Aquarius, Sign of Contradictions
Capricorn, the Cardinal Earth Sign
Sagittarius, the Adventurous Archer
Stinging Scorpio
Lovely, Lawful Libra
Virgo, the Anxious Maiden
Leo, King of the Jungle

***

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The post Jewcy Horoscopes: Taurus, the Hedonistic Bull appeared first on Jewcy.

• You should probably avoid shouting “this is what the Nazis do to Jews,” especially if you’re a teacher.

• Michael Ian Black really outdid himself with this one.

• Marc Chagall’s former townhouse isn’t selling.

• Joseph Gordon-Levitt joins the cast of The Dark Knight Rises:

The post Daily Jewce: More Old Jews Telling Jokes, Michael Ian Black as Billy Joel, and more appeared first on Jewcy.

Face it: there are no good songs for or about Hanukkah.  Sorry if we have to be the ones to break that to you, but it’s the sad truth that may never be rectified.

In the meantime, here are ten songs we wish were actually for the Festival of Lights.

1.  Talking Heads – “Burning Down the House”

This could be a public service announcement for cautionary candle lighting.

2. Burl Ives – “The Donut Song”

Even though this song literally sounds like what slowly descending into hell sounds like, it will have to do.

3. Arthur Brown – “Fire”

If you need help lighting your candles, maybe call the god of hellfire?

4. Del Richardson – “Soul on Fire”

It would be really great if this song came on as you lit the first candle of the evening.

5. Danzig – “Soul on Fire”

Even sweeter if this song came on instead of #4.

6. Don Burdick – “Candle”

We’re really happy a song this good was written about a candle. We only wish it was called “Menorah” instead.

7. Dee Clark – “Hot Potato”

Because in order for your latkes to be good, your potatoes need to be hot.

8. Dead or Alive – “You Spin Me Round”

Until we watched this video, we actually thought it was about dreidels. Bummer.

9. Notorious B.I.G – “Mo Money Mo Problems”

This is the song you blast when you’ve won all the gelt.

10. Billy Joel – “We Didn’t Start the Fire”

This is the song you sing when you do a poor job of lighting your candles.

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