Without the ever-charming Andy Cohen, there would be no Real Housewives (well, there would be plenty of “real housewives,” just not the over-indulged, jaded ones who hail from privileged communities countrywide and make up an iconic guilty-pleasure pocket of contemporary pop-culture). Cohen, largely responsible for the reality programming success of the Bravo network, will step down from his executive role to focus on his talk show and projects with his production company, Most Talkative, the New York Daily News reports.

Though Emmy-winning Cohen has developed many of the network’s hit shows, The Real Housewives franchise set the stage for his talk show, Watch What Happens Live. In 2009, Cohen began hosting WWHL in a casual, conversational format, replete with alcohol, sexy guest bartenders, and Bravolebrities—a Cohen-ism that identifies the network’s reality stars.

In time, the show extended to five nights a week, while still, Cohen maintained his executive role with the network and hosted all the reunion specials for The Real Housewives franchise. The idea to have a live talk show air show directly after a new episode quickly gave way to a trend in cable television, the New York Times reported. Cohen’s production partner, Michael Davies, now produces talk shows of similar format for AMC like Talking Dead and Talking Bad after The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad.

Quickly, Cohen became a Bravolebrity himself. In 2012, Cohen’s autobiographical memoir, Most Talkative—the same name as his production studio—became a New York Times best seller, and recently, WWHL has grown to garner big attention: Oprah, Cher, and Lady Gaga have all been guests in the past year. While it’s unclear when the busy cable television renaissance man sleeps, he still makes time for his besties, like Anderson Cooper and Kelly Ripa! At a price though—during his tenure of working ‘round the clock, Cohen has become noticeably grayer. As in, an almost identical yay-to-gray trajectory to Obama’s first presidential term.

So, get some sleep, Andy. And mazel on your success!

(Photo by Bravo/Getty)

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First, Bravo came for the housewives, and we didn’t say anything because we aren’t housewives. Then, they came for the chefs, and we didn’t say anything because we’re not so great at cooking. But now they’ve come for the JAPS, and it is our civic duty, as a site that dares to call itself Jewcy, to speak up.

I grew up on Long Island. I say that with a mixture of pride and dread—proud because I survived relatively intact (and with great clothes) but also dreading having to hear about that kid you went to college with who was from Roslyn. That said, I like to consider myself, at least in my role as Jewcy editor, as something of a Strong Island guardian. Like, when you tell me I ‘don’t sound like I’m from Long Island at all,’ and I’m supposed to thank you, that’s annoying. And when more than five people I know professionally sent me the link to Bravo’s new show, Princesses Long Island, which premiered last night, I don’t really know what to think.

The nice thing about reality TV these days is that you can pretty much assume everything from the plot lines to the dialogue is scripted, and not actually real at all. But Princesses Long Island hits so close to home (literally!) that it’s unbearably painful to watch. The show centers around six twenty-something young women who live with their parents on Long Island, enjoying the lavish comforts of home and the unending affection of parents who only want them to be happy. But it’s not the 2013 reality of having to move back home because your unpaid internship never turned into that long-promised full-time gig or because your landlord jacked up the rent and your entry-level job doesn’t pay enough—these young women simply never left, and never plan to, until they meet Mr. Right.

The direct transition from dependency on parents to dependency on spouse is one of the most disturbing aspects of the show, which features mostly daughters of wealthy Jewish families who don’t visibly hold jobs (there is one cast member who works, we are constantly reminded). “You need a man to take care of you,” Chanel’s father says during a Friday night dinner. The 27-year-old is obsessed with getting married: “There’s an old Jewish proverb that says, ‘When you marry an old maid, you get a faithful wife,” she tells the camera in the episode’s opening voiceover. “But let’s be honest: no guy on Long Island is going to fall for that one.”

The problem, we learn, is that these girls just aren’t finding guys as great as their fathers—a recurring theme throughout the first episode, encouraged by the mothers and lamented by their prospect-less daughters. It’s twisted and kind of gross. Here’s Ashlee getting a mani-pedi with her dad, wondering how she’ll ever meet a guy who’s as good as he is (“I’m looking for amenities,” she later explains of her ideal mate):

The other irksome part of the show, which mostly reeks of cast members itching to promote their personal ‘brands,’ is the way Judaism is on display, less a religious affiliation and more of a personality trait. Erica, who’s set up as the 29-year-old lush (she falls down while drunkenly singing ‘Hava Nagila’ in the preview for the rest of the season, omg), tells the camera, “We’re reform Jews, which kind of means we’re not that Jewish.” Her father then fakes a blessing before telling the kosher-keeping Chanel, who’s over for a barbecue, that the non-kosher hot dogs are, in fact, kosher.

“Everybody has a stereotype of a Long Island Jewish girl,” Ashlee says at the nail salon, “People get so offended, I’m like bring it: I’m Jewish, I’m American, and I’m a princess.” While there’s certainly something to be said for owning your identity (less so for promoting it shamelessly on television, though), the way they yell ‘Shalom’ in greeting, repeatedly misuse the word ‘verklempt,’ and play up their Jewishness for the camera is pretty revolting. But then again, so is mostly everything else about these young women.

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On a Season 2 episode of Shahs of Sunset, Bravo’s reality television glimpse into Persian American life, Jewish cast member Mike Shouhed struggles with introducing his non-Jewish girlfriend to his family. After some encouragement from his brother David (a dentist, obviously), who brushes the meeting off as a “little hurdle” to overcome, Mike brings the Italian-American Jessica to his parents’ house for Shabbat dinner. He explains to the off-screen camera that it’s an effort to fulfill the nagging maternal directive to marry a nice Jewish girl and have babies—just, of course, minus the Jewish part. Mike does his best, but can only meet his mother halfway.

Kiddush is perfunctorily recited by Mike’s father, and white nylon yarmulkes briefly grace the heads of the men in the room. The camera zooms in on a bottle of Manischewitz on the table. After some initial tension post-motzi, Jessica impresses the Shouhed family by knowing to kiss both cheeks, a customary Persian greeting. Her career path as a nurse is also promising—as Mike explains, “Persians love professional degrees.”  

As a viewer, it’s unclear what the bigger issue is for Mike’s family–that Jessica isn’t Jewish, or that she isn’t Persian. After all, Mike’s Jewish observance doesn’t seem to go much further than an impressive respect for his mother and regular attendance at Shabbat dinners. As the only self-identified Jewish main character currently on the show, Mike’s storyline follows a well-trodden arc of success and assimilation. For him, the requirements of a Persian and Jewish partner are almost interchangeable—it’s a matter of ethnic belonging and continuity rather than religious priorities.

Shahs of Sunset, which follows the life and times of high-rolling Persian Americans in Los Angeles—Tehrangeles, they call it—as they navigate life, love, and partying, is yet another incarnation in the Jersey Shore trend: American ethnic enclaves mined for reality entertainment. Unsurprisingly, the Persian American community is less than pleased about what it sees as a cheap exploitation of negative stereotypes of cheap wealth and overdramatic behavior.

Yet while much has been said about that controversy, not much attention has been paid to the treatment of religion, and religious difference, on the show. The women on the show are all Persian Muslims. G.G., Mercedes, Lily, and Asa enjoy working and living in Los Angeles in varying industries, from real estate to swimwear. Except for Asa, the self-described Persian Pop Priestess who flings off her chador as part of her performance art, there is little discussion of how Islam plays into their identities—although there is much discussion of what it means to be Persian.

Mike and Sammy, both in real estate, are identified as Jews, although Mike is portrayed as more identified than Sammy (who also demoted to a supporting character in Season 2), attending Shabbat dinners and openly declaring that his Jewish mother is the most important woman in his life. Reza, who is openly gay, is torn between the Muslim and Jewish sides of his family (more on that later).

Season 2 sees both Mike and Reza struggling with issues of Jewish identity and belonging, though in vastly different ways. Mike hesitantly introduces Jessica to tadig, the crunchy rice which is the ultimate symbol of Persian cuisine. In the end, her Italian ethnic identity is close enough for Mike—an unexplained conflation of ethnic and religious identities. In the season’s finale, he asks his family for their blessing, and with his own “freedom of choice” (Mike’s own language) that his parents have given him by leaving Iran, he chooses to marry a woman outside his race and religion—a non-Persian and non-Jewish woman. His own immigrant parents only want happiness for their son.

Reza, the breakout star of the show, is the most vivacious, likable character of the bunch. The product of a Muslim-Jewish intermarriage (Muslim mother, Jewish father), he was raised primarily by his mother after his unfaithful father abandoned the family when Reza was young. He is proudly gay, which, despite initial reluctance from his family, seems to be widely accepted in their traditional Persian community. Despite identifying as a Muslim, Reza admits in Season 1 that he’s never been inside a mosque, adding that he’s been to plenty of bar mitzvahs so he might as well be Jewish.

While the show’s treatment of Judaism certainly leaves a lot to be desired, it at least gets airtime. Throughout the first two seasons of Shahs, Islam was mentioned only a handful of times. Muslim celebrations are either presented as completely secular or constructed as Persian, and not Muslim, events. While Iranian Jewishness is packaged as novel to viewers, Muslim Persian identity seems to have been scrupulously avoided.

For Reza, then, religious affiliation is marked by whom one parties with the most. His in-between status (there is no patrilineal descent here) is revealed during his first trip to Great Neck, NY, where we see his difficult relationship and (eventual on-screen reconciliation) with his father’s side of the family. Reza describes the Long Island enclave as an all-Jewish Persian Utopia, in many ways the suburban other to glitzy L.A.

Reza, bearing a carefully selected parve cake (the scene in Bruce’s Bakery where Reza asks repeatedly if the cake is dairy free is perhaps my favorite from the first season), approaches his father and asks for an olive branch. The two embrace and cry, but the reunion is marred by Reza’s grandmother, a ninety-plus matriarch who is not pleased that her grandchildren are, as she says, “goyim.”

Religion is a double sided sword on the show—harmful when divisions are enforced (such as the punishment for exogamy) but a unifying force when there is food to share and holidays to celebrate. Difference between Persians of varying religions is not a fundamental division, but a matter of generational conflict that can be solved with a family reunion, a good cry, and a healthy dose of American multiculturalism.

In Season 2, Reza brings the entire gang to Great Neck for Rosh Hashanah dinner, in an attempt to make further inroads with his Jewish family. Mike, the resident Jew, explains that Rosh Hashanah is the time to start fresh, and that the group should bring large gifts to Reza’s uncle Hooshang, who graciously agreed to host his nephew’s entourage. (Mike also explains that he had to ask special permission to miss Rosh Hashanah with his family. His mother must have been so upset.)

This pared down celebration of the Jewish New Year, with minimal ritual (a quick shot of apples and honey and a random cousin making a shortened kiddush is all the Jewish content we get) and no synagogue attendance (if anyone does go, it isn’t mentioned) allows for Reza to fully reconcile with his old grandmother, portrayed until now as a rather terrifying personality—perhaps the scariest on the show to date. In a classic Shahs ending, everyone makes up in time for late-evening cocktails.

Perhaps it is quixotic to demand nuance from reality television, but this pop-culture-fan-turned-academic would have loved to see a fuller treatment of religion and ethnicity, how young Persian-Americans are creating their own identities amongst the classic divisions of American society, and how especially Persian Jews are demanding their role on the current American Jewish scene—a scene that is dominantly white and Ashkenazi. While you ponder those possibilities of these Jewish Shahs, you might as well enjoy the tadig.

Previously: Learning Farsi with ‘Shahs of Sunset’
‘Shahs of Sunset’ Mega-Mansion Can Be Yours for Just $58 Million

The post Shahs of Sunset’s Jewish Problem appeared first on Jewcy.

“You’ve watched the fights, seen the drama…but who’s gonna clean up the mess?” a Bravo-esque voiceover teases. The Real Housekeepers of Long Island, that’s who—at least according to this (at times NSFW) parody video from the guys behind the YouTube video Nassau (County) State of Mind.

Mocking the Real Housewives series on Bravo, which seems to be reproducing endlessly in new locations, the video turns the cameras…onto the maids. An obnoxious Long Island woman demands Xanax and accuses Olga of stealing her jewelry, while her husband demands to know who made a $200 phone call to El Salvador. It’s absurd and over-the-top, just like the shows it skewers.

Tyler Gildin, one of the video’s creators, said they put out casting calls and hired actors and actresses for the one-day shoot—a step up from last year’s music video tribute to the unparalleled opulence of Long Island’s Nassau County, which featured Gildin, Evan Krumholz, and Keith Gould rapping in front of sports cars.

“With YouTube, there are so many opportunities to put yourself out there now,” Gildin, an aspiring comedian, explained. It’s hard not to believe that, coming from the guy who stars in the video’s toilet-clogging scene.

Would you tune in for the Real Housekeepers of Long Island?

Related: Tribal Humor Goes Viral [Tablet Magazine]

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• Meet Faygele ben Miriam, the gay rights activist who mobilized Washington state’s battle over marriage more than 40 years ago.

• Bravo’s Andy Cohen totally understands why we watch reality TV, and will get us to watch even more of it.

• A first look at LiLo as Elizabeth Taylor.

• We’re very sorry we missed Bar Refaeli’s 27th birthday earlier this week. Please accept our sincere apologies:

The post Daily Jewce: Bar Refaeli Turns 27, Joe Biden Does the Hora, and more appeared first on Jewcy.

Jones, the daughter of Quincy Jones and Peggy Lipton, confirmed that she is completely awesome in real life by giving spot-on descriptions (of Bill O’Reilly: “He went crazy live on Fox News, he was like ‘Live! I want to do it live! I’m gonna do it live!’”) which Slattery quickly identified. When a picture of Mel Gibson popped up, she shouted “He hates Jews! And he’s hateful and angry!” then added, “He said horrible things to his girlfriend. He’s Australian. His dad hates Jews!”

Seriously, can we be friends?

(photo credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

The post Rashida Jones Skillfully Describes How Mel Gibson Feels About Jews appeared first on Jewcy.

• Natalie Portman is one of the celebrities involved in a Facebook campaign drawing attention to the continuing bloodshed in Syria, one year after the uprising.

• “Are you or are you not sleeping with me?” -Drake. “Gross, dude.” -Everyone else.

• Here’s a picture of Ruth Madoff taking out the trash in Connecticut.

• Depardieu, meet DSK.

• Homeland heads to Israel to film.

• Isaac Mizrahi loves the Real Housewives shows, but draws the line at Orange County.

The post Daily Jewce: Elle McPherson Accuses Howard Stern of Acting Jewish During Interview, Ruth Madoff Takes Out the Trash, and more appeared first on Jewcy.

The cast members are, as expected, out of touch and generally unlikeable, transforming into caricatures of themselves when the cameras start rolling. There were, however, nuggets of intrigue during the first episode, specifically a conversation at a booze-filled dinner that highlighted tension between the group’s Jews and Muslims. GG, clearly cast as the trouble-maker, suggested that Mike (who we see having Shabbat dinner with his family in the episode) might date Muslim women but would inevitably end up marrying a Jewish woman. Granted, that moment may have been manufactured, perhaps to build speculation that something is going on between Mike and GG, who is Muslim.

Hopefully, Shahs of Sunset delves into cultural issues more significant than discussions of appropriate pool party attire, but we’re not holding our breath. In the meantime, we’re totally learning Farsi—the following subtitles appeared on screen during the premiere:

“Joon = dear”

“Heyvoon bazi = animal party”

“Khobi = how’s it going”

“Pishi = kitty, kitty, kitty”

and,

“TPG = typical Persian guy”

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