As they often do, Passover and Easter coincide this year; Easter Sunday is the second full day of Pesach (which is also April Fools’ Day this year— beware). Normally this wouldn’t be much cause for concern; you stay in your lane and I’ll stay in mine. But this year, to celebrate the (alleged) resurrection of one Jesus of Nazareth, NBC is airing Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert!

I am on the record as thinking that Jesus Christ Superstar is dated, and straight-up anti-Semitic— a crowd of Jews chanting “Crucify him,” really? I have publicly decried this telecast’s existence as a modern passion play.

Call me a hypocrite. I love this musical so much I don’t care. This year, I’m celebrating Pesach by watching Jesus Christ Superstar.

If you think about it, it’s still seasonal. The Last Supper was a seder, after all (the body of Jesus? Matzo). And it is a piece of media full of Jewish characters (if not actors this time around—the musical’s only substantial female role is played by Sara Bareilles, whom people often think she’s Jewish but she isn’t, which is probably the best type of person to portray Mary Magdalene). So what if the Pharisees, the progenitors of rabbinic Judaism, are seen as conspiratorial murderers? The Beit HaMikdash makes an appearance! “Hosanna” comes from Hoshana! The show is full of Jewish references!

And for what it’s worth, one of the main producers of this telecast is Marc Platt, father of Broadway star Ben and a member of the family that is extremely, super-duper Jewishly involved. As in, his wife Julie is on the Board of Directors of the Foundation for Jewish Camp. I’m not saying this undoes problematic elements in the show (though it may help avoid some that are the result of direction rather than text), but I’m saying I would rather it come from friends.

I’m traditionally observant, which means I can’t use electricity till 8:02 pm on Sunday night. The show starts at 8 pm. I’m trying to find a calendar that’s about 3 minutes more liberal. So I can watch Jesus Christ Superstar. This seems like an unusual problem to have.

Chag Sameach. And zanna zanna, ho!

Photo by Tony Alter, via Flickr.

The post Why I Will Be Spending Passover Watching ‘Jesus Christ Superstar Live’ appeared first on Jewcy.

Punk chefs advise that if you want to ground up matzoh to make matzoh ball soup, you can have the punk rock band in your living room do it for you.

If you don’t have a punk rock band in your living room, this playlist should rev you up for all eight days of Passover. If it still isn’t enough (dayenu?), check out last year’s Passover punk playlist.

Yidcore: Bashana Haba’ah

A key theme of Passover is that while we might face problems now, things will be better next year. The chorus of this traditional song says, “You will yet see how good it will be next year.” In Yidcore’s cover, this rallying cry is more of a scream the last time it’s uttered.

The Shondes: True North

The chorus of “True North” connects the seder-ending slogan “Next year in Jerusalem” with social justice activism. Shondes singer Louisa Solomon said the song is about “utopian ideals” in “revolutionary movements—and the related Jewish tradition of actively imagining a better world.” The band included “Next year in Jerusalem” to “connect with our ancestors’ aspirations toward justice,” Solomon explained.

Gefilte Fuck: Why Don’t We Do It in the Shoul?

The song is modeled after the Beatles’ “Why Don’t We Do It in the Road?” and starts off by suggesting sex in a synagogue. There are four questions in total, and two of them are from the Four Questions: “Why do we eat unleavened bread?” “Why do we dip our parsley twice?” Click here to listen.

Schmekel: The Mohel Song

“The Mohel Song” addresses whether a transgender Jew should get circumcised. Toward the end of the song, singer/guitarist Lucian Kahn sings the chorus of “Chad Gadya.” Kahn associated “Chad Gadya” with his family’s inebriated renditions following four cups of wine at Passover seders. He saw in “Chad Gadya” the “drunken revelry of the liberation moment of the seder.” As Kahn put it, incorporating the song fit into Schmekel’s approach of taking liturgical melodies and other familiar elements of Judaism, “commenting on it,” “re-contextualizing it,” and “making it [their] own.”

G-d Is My Co-Pilot: Dayenu

G-d Is My Co-Pilot was part of No Wave, an avant-garde offshoot of punk rock. The band originally spelled out the first word of their name, but when they played overtly Jewish songs, they used a hyphen instead. Their 1994 album Mir Shlufn Nisht (Yiddish for “We Don’t Sleep”) included “Dayenu,” plus a hora, a Chanukah song, and “Hatikvah.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nphRFZg4zQE

Total Passover: Get Kosher

Total Passover qualifies for this playlist because of their awesome name. Their slogan, “Shalom Motherfucker,” wasn’t well received in their home state of Iowa in the early ’90s. In “Get Kosher,” the Jewish narrator tells a non-Jewish woman that he’ll only date her if she keeps kosher. The chorus includes the hilarious line “Lips that touch swine will never touch mine.”

Moshiach Oi!: Eliyahu HaNavi

This Hebrew song calls for Elijah the prophet to come to us soon with Moshiach. Moshiach Oi! have plenty of punk rock in their rendition, but there are also heaping servings of reggae. In addition, Moshiach Oi! discuss the Exodus from Egypt in songs “Yetzias Mitzrayim” and “This Is My God.”

Gangsta Rabbi: 1st Diaspora Egypt

“1st Diaspora Egypt” appeared on Steve “Gangsta Rabbi” Lieberman’s 69th album last year, and now he’s released three more since. The lyrics discuss how Joseph wound up in Egypt, Pharaoh’s order to build pyramids, the splitting of the sea, and wandering in the desert for 40 years en route to Israel.

…You might need to read the lyrics to get all that.

For more information about all these artists, check out Michael Croland’s book, Oy Oy Oy Gevalt! Jews and Punk.

Art courtesy of Tom Meehan/Total Passover

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Does it look delicious? Admittedly no, but Passover is nigh and you don’t have the time to fret over presentation. Trust that it’ll get rid of whatever food you have lying around, and it is legitimately both tasty and nutritious. Mark Bittman says bread is good for you, after all— the one thing you’ve always wanted to hear.

As for process and ingredients, think of this recipe like the Pirate’s Code, more guidelines than actual rules.

Ingredients:

3 cups cubed bread

1 cup vegetable broth or milk (or water that’s had onion or garlic boiled in it, you get the idea)

2 cups vegetables

4-6 Eggs

1 Tbsp butter

Grated Cheese (optional)

Directions:

1. Pour your liquid of choice into a bowl with the bread, and let it soak for at least an hour, or as long as overnight

2. If your leftover veggies are particularly hard, like root vegetables, sauté them for about five minutes, until slightly softened

3. Beat together the eggs— if you have leftover milk or cheese, mix together.

4. Lay out the soggy bread in a pyrex or other bakeware, and mix in the vegetables. Pour the egg mixture over the top.

5. Melt the butter (in the microwave is fine), and pour it over the whole strata

5. Bake at 350 degrees for an hour, or until the eggs have set and the butter has completely been absorbed.

6. Enjoy! Then gaze around your kitchen and realize you still have cleaning to do before the holiday. Godspeed.

Photo by Gabriela Geselowitz

The post Get Rid of Chametz— Fast— With Leftover Strata appeared first on Jewcy.

I like the multilayered ways in which Judaism measures time, how it acknowledges time’s flowing and circular character. In total, Judaism counts four new years that begin at different dates — Rosh Hashanah being the most obvious one. While Tishrei and Elul mark the first and last months of the civil year—5778—Nisan and Adar are the first and last months of the year that determines the religious observance of all festivals.

This poem is supposed to be an allegorical reflection on the relationship between Pesach in Nisan and Purim in Adar – two festivals that celebrate redemption. Also, the days and weeks between festivals are often important passages in Judaism, and this is especially true for the time we are in right now, leading from Purim in the month of happiness (Adar) up to Pesach in the month of freedom (Nisan).

Purim was a charming imp,

leaping, humming, singing; smiling

in the safety of his mother’s lap.

He turned heads with gifts of food and laughter.

The happiest of brothers,

he got away with his transgressions;

he was different, sensitive,

a special child of concealed zeal,

miraculously cheerful in somber hours.

He made everyone forget

what they were enjoined to remember.

Pesach watched his youngest brother

with the vigor of the first-born son.

Like their father,

he had an outstretched arm, a strong hand,

but Purim warmed Pesach’s earnest heart,

despite feelings of superiority,

a beat or two of jealousy,

despite the burden he was enjoined to carry.

The laws.

The blood dripping from cups of freedom.

They were one.

A family’s tale of two-fold redemption,

bound together on the calendar. 

Photo by Matt Hecht

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Can you believe Passover is eight ENTIRE days? More like eight and a half (insert Fellini joke here) when you take into account the day of the first seder.

Well, if you’ve run out of yummy treats and have matzo coming out your ears, here are three unusual holiday recipes. All of them are delicious. All of them have the potential to be pareve. And none of them have matzo.

Our first recipe is gluten-free pancakes (you may have seen them online before), which don’t sound like they should resemble pancakes at all, given the fact that the main ingredient is banana.  But it’s actually not bad, and it’s also OK regardless of if you eat kitniyot on Pesach:

Recipe #1: Perfect Passover Pancakes:

Ingredients:

• 2 bananas
• 1/2 cup of almond butter (or peanut butter, if you like/are able)
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp vanilla
• drizzle of honey

Directions:

Shmush everything together (if the bananas are ripe enough, a fork and elbow grease should do it).  Bananas first, then eggs, then almond butter, then extras.

Fry ’em up like you would pancakes!  Keep ’em small, and be patient as they cook.

Recipe #2: Hannah’s Chanukah, But Notka

This latke springtime treat comes to us from Hannah Simpson. She honestly wonders why more people don’t do this.

Ingredients:

• 1-2 onions, grated
• Potatoes, grated (3 times as many as onions, and they should all be of comparable size)
• 1 chute of diced scallion per potato
• 1 egg per 3 potatoes
• Salt, to taste
• Extra virgin olive oil, for cooking

Directions:

Mix all ingredients in a large pot. Take golf-ball sized scoops placed into EVOO, squished down repeatedly, flipped once or twice, and served burnt. Let fresh latkes cool over paper towel. Serve with sour cream, or apple sauce to keep it pareve.

Recipe #3: Black Salt Avocado Pickles

This hardboiled egg alternative for vegans comes to us from Ashley Goldstein. It’s quick and very easy:

Ingredients:

• 1 ripe avocado
• 1/2 tsp black salt
• 3 tbsp vinegar
• Water to cover

Directions:

Slice avocado and place into a sealable (ideally glass) container. Add the rest of the ingredients and allow to pickle for at least an hour.

And there you have it, kids.  Now go forth, enjoy, and power through your Passover.  We believe in you.

Image by Jewcy via photos from Pixabay and Wikimedia

The post Not Your Bubbe’s Recipe: The Passover Food Triumvirate appeared first on Jewcy.

Passover often falls when the weather just starts to turn nice, but the sound of the forbidden ice cream truck going past may be enough to make a grown man weep. But! Here is a recipe for how to make your own delicious frozen treat, that’s even dairy free, so you can serve it after a meat holiday meal.

The recipe comes to Jewcy from Aliza Goldstein and her dad Jeff. Its ease of making is miraculous, but Aliza endorses it thus:

“The real miracle is that no one has ever gotten salmonella from this.”

The Goldstein clan got this treat from a 1970s synagogue sisterhood recipe book, by a Bess Goldstein (no relation to Jeff, Aliza and co.). The cookbook notes: “A very nice dessert for Sedar [sic] night. Delicious over sponge cake.”

The modern Goldsteins are skeptical about the sponge cake part, given the holiday. But Aliza describes the ice cream as “life-changing.” So à la mode or by itself, give this a try!

• 2 egg whites
• 1 pinch salt
• 2 tbsp lemon juice
• 1 1/4 cup sugar
• 2 cups strawberries

In large tupperware, beat egg white until foamy and add salt. Continue beating as you slowly add sugar. When it stands in peaks, add sliced or partly crushed strawberries and lemon juice. Continue to beat for 15 minutes until mixture holds peaks. Cover, store in freezer and serve frozen.

Enjoy!

Image via Pexels.

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1. The Schleps: “Adir Hu”

Joshua Sherer handles vocals, guitar, bass, drums, and recording for the Schleps. Sherer said that while Passover has some of his “favorite holiday songs,” he covered “Adir Hu” “simply because it was the easiest and quickest song to record.” One could debate whether this metalcore song is more metal than hardcore/punk, but the guitar sound has a great, heavy crunch, whatever you want to call it.

2. Gefilte Fuck: “Diyanu”

Multiple Jewish punk bands covered “Diyanu,” but Gefilte Fuck was unique in adding “Fuck you!” to the chorus. “I thought the Passover song ‘Dayenu’ that I remembered so vividly from Sunday school needed to be screamed and played fast,” wrote guitarist Adam Bregman in the zine Mazel-Tov Cocktail. The band didn’t limit its Passover celebration to music, throwing matzoh and gefilte fish at fans during live shows.

3. NOFX: “The Brews”

The number-one Jewish punk anthem of all time is “The Brews” by NOFX. The song hailed the Brews (short for “Hebrews”) as an Orthodox street gang that celebrated Shabbat by drinking Manischewitz wine and beating up non-Jews. The Brews were described as skinheads with “anti-swastika tattoos.” The song ends by chanting the chorus of “Dayenu.” 

4. Yidcore: “Ma Nishtana”

Yidcore’s “Ma Nishtana” begins with a young boy reciting “Why is this night different from all others?” and making fart noises with his mouth. Yidcore then plunges headfirst into a screaming, full-throttle rendition of “The Four Questions” that’d make your zayde scream too (from being appalled, that is). It was hard to pick just one Passover song by Yidcore, seeing as how they’ve also covered “Dayenu” and “Vehi She’amda.” Yidcore front man Bram Presser noted, “The running gag for a long while was that Yidcore was started with the express primary purpose of speeding up the interminably long and boring seder. Anything beyond that was just a bonus.” 

5. The Shondes: “At the Water”

“At the Water,” from the Shondes’ The Red Sea, tells the story of Nashon from Exodus. Nashon led the way by walking into the Red Sea until it parted. Shondes violinist Elijah Oberman explained, “It was specifically inspired by Passover and that moment when Nashon goes into the Red Sea—and the idea that you have to go as far as you can on your own before G-d comes in and makes a miracle.” The band members found the story inspirational for social justice advocacy, as it suggests that people have to take risks in the pursuit of doing the right thing.

6. Schmekel: “Pharaoh/Moses Slash” 

The transgender Jewish punk band Schmekel wrote songs about most Jewish holidays, including Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Simchat Torah, and Purim. “Pharaoh/Moses Slash” addressed “the part of the Exodus that the haggadah leaves out”: a sexual relationship between Pharaoh and Moses. The chorus celebrates, “Shtupping is a mitzvah, and I’m a matzoh man.” Schmekel also played with “Chad Gadya” in one of their best songs, “The Mohel Song.”

7. Electric Menorah: “Let My People Go”

As the name suggests, the one-man band Electric Menorah started out with Chanukah songs in 2003. In 2008, singer/guitarist Brett Singer released Passocore. The EP featured punk covers of traditional Passover songs, including “Let My People Go.” Whereas the 2003 songs required his friend’s assistance with a drum machine and Pro Tools, Singer recorded the new songs on his Mac using GarageBand. This time around, Singer was truly a DIY one-man band.

8. Gangsta Rabbi: “Shout in Mizra’im”

In January (while he was in a medically induced coma, no less), Steve “Gangsta Rabbi” Lieberman released The King of Jewish Punk, his 30th album (68th if you count his prior cassette recordings). In 2003, his song “Shout in Mizr’aim” topped the Jewish/Israeli chart on MP3.com for eight days. The lyrics recall how the Hebrews built the pyramids and Moses told Pharaoh, “Hey, let my people go!”

You can learn more about all eight artists in my book, Oy Oy Oy Gevalt! Jews and Punk.

The post Passover Punk Playlist appeared first on Jewcy.

Aesthetic!

“Growing up we learn about the plagues but this brought about a more vivid understanding,” Rivka Goldin, who served as the canvas for the painted plagues told Jewcy. “It takes viewers on a journey through the 10 plagues.”

This project is actually a collaborative effort of three siblings— Chaya Pekar (a professional face painter) came up with the concepts for each plague and applied the makeup on Rivka, and their brother Zusha Goldin (a professional photographer) took the pics.

And so, we present them to you, in glorious creepiness. Which is your favorite? Ours may be diseased animals, a phrase we never thought we’d get to use.

1. Blood

2. Frogs

3. Lice

4. Wild beasts

5. Diseased animals

6. Boils

7. Hail

8. Locusts

9. Darkness

10. Death of the firstborn

The post The Ten Plagues Makeup Project appeared first on Jewcy.

Pop-cultural mashups with Jewish holidays are obviously far from new. In this Passover season alone we have the Unofficial Hogwarts Haggadah, and new song parodies added to last year’s hit the Hamilton Haggadah. But what makes this take on Pesach different from all others? Its source of inspiration is that most quintessential voice of modern wisdom: Queen Bey.

Yes, the Beyonceder reminds us that the wisdom of our ancient traditions jive really well with lyrics from the reigning queen of pop… or is it the other way around?

For example:

And this year is really special, because not only can you purchase merch (available in both “Classic” and “Lemonade”) that has these amazing images (and more), but you can have them special for your seder. The tote bags work as afikomen covers, and apparently the mugs are great for drinking wine.

The creator of the Beyonceder is Amy Schiller, a writer, grad student, and mashup meme creator who brought you the Ryan-Gosling infused, “Hey Girl, Happy Hannukah.” Back in 2014, the portmanteau of “Beyoncé” and “seder,” popped into her head, and she decided she had to follow through. And to top it all off, last year on the evening of the second seder, Lemonade dropped. Still, Schiller admits that Bey and Passover are “not necessarily congruent.”

“Though she’s a very empowering individualist, she’s an individualist, and Passover is all about collective liberation and collective experience,” says Schiller of Ms. Knowles-Carter. “That said, certainly there are narratives in her songs about emancipation.”

Regardless, you can get a T-Shirt that says “I don’t think you ready for this jelly” with pictures of Passover’s ubiquitous fruit slices. For that alone, let’s make this the new Chanukah sweaters.

If you order by Thursday (March 30th), you can still get your merch in time for the holiday, because obviously you want to recline on a pillow that says “Next Year in Jerusalem” over Beyoncé’s recent pregnancy photo (or maybe on a picture of Moses in Nile with the caption “Surfbordt.” It’s really hard to decide).

You can also follow the Beyonceder through future punny memes on Tumblr, Twitter, and Instagram.

OK, just a couple more favorites:

Chag sameach, and next year at Coachella (…you know, since Beyoncé had to postpone her appearance there till 2018 due to her pregnancy).

The post It’s Beyonceder Time appeared first on Jewcy.

As Passover nears (quicker than you think), you may already be dreading matzo. But be not afraid; the holiday cracker doesn’t have to taste like cardboard. Ashley Albert and Kevin Rodriguez of The Matzo Project are so determined to reclaim the stuff that they’ve created an entire food line dedicated to turning matzo into a year-round snack (in fact, their products are kosher, but deliberately not kosher-for-Passover).

From “Cinnamon Bun Matzo Buttercrunch” ice cream, to cinnamon sugar matzo chips— any style of nosh you need, they got you.

But they need your help in deciding just what to schmear on their flat matzot this Passover season: The Matzo Project and Jewcy are teaming up for the #MatzoDipChallenge, a contest to concoct the perfect dip for their unusual matzot (Passover is all about dipping, after all).

Here’s what you can do:

The classic flats come in two flavors: “Salted” and “Everything Plus Two Other Things.” Pick one (or both), and submit your recipe/s for a dip that you think will go best with your flavor of choice. If you think you need more inspiration, think sea salt for Salted, and Everything is like the same sort of bagel, with a smidgen of paprika and chili.

Don’t be afraid to get weird with your submissions— want to do that marshmallow fluff/cream cheese blend? Go for it.

If you want to pick up a box to help get your creative juices flowing, they aren’t hard to come by.

The finalists will all receive a free box of Matzo Project matzo, and the Matzo Project and Jewcy team will bring the recipes to life (on video for posterity) and pick a grand prize winner (the grand prize is honor, but also a bag full of swag).  We’ll also be releasing a virtual recipe book of our top picks!

To enter, email gabriela@jewcy.com with the subject “Matzo Dip Challenge.” In the body of the email include your name, number, flavor choice, recipe, and anything else you’d like us to know.

The contest ends Wednesday, March 29th, at 5 p.m.

And of course, feel free to tweet (#MatzoDipChallenge) at either Jewcy or The Matzo Project with thoughts or kvetches.

Happy dipping!

Image courtesy of The Matzo Project

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