Rihannukah may be an obvious pun but that doesn’t make it any less amazing when Drake raps about them both on SNL and makes them rhyme, or when you can buy greeting cards with the mashup.

But now, elevating what could be a one-off pun to its next level, Amy Schiller, the creator of the Beyonceder brings you another pop diva Jewish holiday with Rihannukah memes.

Enjoy a few examples, with RiRi lyrics in the context of the Festival of Lights:

And of course, this calls for a revisit of Schiller’s OG meme project, “Hey Girl Happy Hannukah,” in which Ryan Gosling seductively invites you to celebrate Chanukah (and other Jewish festivals).

For example:

Happy Chanukah. And Beyoncé bless us, every one.

Images courtesy Amy Schiller

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Dear Selena,

I’m writing to you on behalf of two 12-year-old girls living in Southern Israel who were upset by something you posted to Instagram a few weeks ago—a post which expressed sympathy for the people of Gaza, but also provided a space for your followers to condemn and delegitimize the State of Israel in the comments.

I met Noa and Yarden* in Southern Israel while I was doing some reporting for a few stories about religion and conflict in that region. This may be a bold statement, but they’re your biggest fans—seriously, your biggest fans. “Selena Gomez,” cried Yarden. “I love her! I love her music!”

And then you let them down. You hurt them. You prayed for Gaza, but not Israel, taking sides in a conflict that is not your own. By doing that, you isolated some fans.

Selena, Noa and Yarden have something to say. They love you. They idolize you. That’s why they want to say this—because they’re worried that their idol hates them simply because they’re Israeli. I wanted to relay their message to you. The remainder of this letter is based on my conversation with them.

“Everything you say about the Arab-Israeli conflict is wrong. It’s so much more complicated than anyone not living here can imagine,” Yarden said. “Even the people in central and northern Israel don’t understand it they way we do. So, Selena, why did you say what you did?”

“To you, Rihanna, and anyone else who has anything ill to say about us and our people,” Noa added, “come visit us, spend a day in our life and see what it’s like.”

Israelis, like all Middle Easterners, are known for their generosity and hospitality. “We’d be more than happy to host you for however long,” Yarden said. “You can even stay with me or Noa—we have safe rooms, bomb shelters, in our houses. We have to, given the number of rockets that are fired at us daily.”

Noa and Yarden live in Israel on Kibbutz Yad Mordechai, a small village of 500 people two kilometers from the Gaza border. They’re the last Israeli residents before the border crossing between Israel and Gaza. On any given day, they are pummeled with rockets. On a good day they have two warning sirens—in Hebrew they’re called tzeva adom. On a bad day they can have as many as fifteen.

“From the time the sirens signaling the rockets sound, we have 15 seconds—just 15 seconds—to run for safety,” Noa explained, with a twinge of lingering fear in her voice. “Usually, the Iron Dome intercepts the rockets before they can harm us. When that happens, everything shakes from the booms—my house shakes, our whole neighborhood shakes. And in turn, we all shake. It’s terrifying. There is nowhere to hide.”

“We live in our shelters now,” she continued. “They still shake, a lot, but when shrapnel falls from the intercepted rockets, at least it can’t hit us. We hardly ever leave our shelters.”

At that moment, I must interject, the girls and I heard a bone-rattling boom—a boom that you feel in your core. I jumped, but the two girls just looked at me and said, “don’t be afraid. That is us bombing Gaza—it’s not here. Nothing will hurt us from that boom.” A few moments later, a plume of light grey smoke appeared through the trees in the distance. “Gaza is close to here,” Noa said. “Very close,” Yarden added.

“We”—meaning the Israeli Defense Force—”don’t bomb to hurt,” they felt the need to tell me. “We bomb to defend. In Gaza the terrorists bomb because they want to terrorize us—and they do!”

“I remember on the first day of the war, oh, what a trauma we experienced,” Yarden recalled. “Noa and I were on the beach very close to here. We were enjoying ourselves, swimming, you know, because it was hot. And then, all of a sudden, we hear a siren. As daughters of the south, we knew what that meant. We had 15 seconds to find shelter. But we were in an open space with nowhere to go. We saw the rockets approaching overhead. It was terrifying! With nowhere to hide, we did the next best thing: we dropped on our stomachs and covered our heads, lest shrapnel from an intercepted rocket fall on us.”

8 seconds.

7 seconds.

6 seconds.

5 seconds.

“And then two loud booms. Everything shook. The Iron Dome had saved us. We were safe. But with rockets being targeted at our homes, could we ever be truly safe?”

“Between me and my classmates who live in villages like Zikim, Carmia, and Sderot, all over Southern Israel,” Noa said, “rockets are aimed at us all the time. Without end.”

“But we live in the South of Israel,” Yarden added. “We’re used to this way of life already. We were born into this. It’s our life.”

Noa’s family has lived in Yad Mordechai since the kibbutz was founded in 1936. They came here to escape anti-Semitism in Europe. They built the kibbutz up with their own hands. They defended it from Egyptian invaders in 1948—there were only fifty kibbutzniks with twenty outdated guns between them, facing hundreds of trained Egyptian soldiers. But the kibbutzniks, Noa’s family, persevered. They then lived in peace with their Arab neighbors in Gaza. Sure, there were tensions and flare-ups, but for the most part they lived in peace. And then just after Noa and Yarden were born, the rockets started.

“At this point, I’m not scared of the sirens anymore,” Noa stated plainly.”I’m scared of the booms, but not even so much. I’m really more scared of the terrorists who are shooting them.”

“Why can’t we just live in peace?” asked Yarden. “We hope the kids in Gaza are good and safe,” she said. “We don’t wish this kind of trauma on anyone. I’m sad that everyone dies. We can’t live like this. Let’s just be neighbors in peace.”

“That’s all we want here,” Noa said. “Peace.”

I’m paraphrasing now, but the girls wanted you to know that you’re still one of their heroes. Look at everything you’ve overcome in your life! But you hurt them. They just want you to understand before you isolate them, before you dismiss them and their families as bad people.

So, will you take them up on their offer and visit? Will you see their life and cheer them up?

On behalf of your fans in Israel,

Rachel

*The girls’ names have been changed.

Related: In Lieu of Tel Aviv Concert, Neil Young Donates to Budding Israeli & Palestinian Musicians

(Image: Randy Miramontez / Shutterstock.com)

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Kids, gather ’round for another exciting installment of “War, What is It Good For?” Episode two: Soliciting celebrities’ opinions on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Specifically, Joan Rivers.

Last week, the legendary comedian delivered an impassioned defense of Israel to TMZ, which was gleefully disseminated by supporters and critics of Israel alike. (“Joan Rivers — GOES OFF on Epic Israel/Palestine Rant,” read TMZ’s headline. I was half-hoping firecrackers were going to fly out of her bouffant. Sadly, no dice.)

“Let me just tell you,” Rivers began, planting her feet on the ground outside LAX, where the film crew had accosted her. “If New Jersey were firing rockets into New York, we would wipe them out… You can not throw rockets and not expect people to defend themselves.” She said BBC and CNN “should be ashamed of themselves” for their unbalanced coverage of the conflict, and then, when asked about Selena Gomez’s ‘Pray for Gaza’ Instagram pic, she questioned the 22-year-old singer’s ability to spell the word ‘Palestinian.’

The video clearly struck a chord with TV producers the world over, because Israel’s channel 10 sought Rivers out for a more in-depth interview today. When asked what the country could do to improve its PR campaign—and why celebrities like Gomez and Rihanna were expressing their support for Gaza on social media—she offered the following analysis: “They see pictures of children and they go crazy. I think Israel should start showing pictures of dead puppies, and they’ll go boo hoo.”

The interview concluded with a riff on ‘Gotta Have It, Make It Stop,’ the hot-or-not segment from Rivers’ celebrity style show, Fashion Police.

“I think we should make it [the conflict] stop, and I think I know how to make it stop,” she opined. “I think every Palestinian should get a nose job, because once somebody’s had a nose job, they won’t fight because they’re scared the new nose will get broken. I think we should send over every great Jewish plastic surgeon doctor, fix their noses, and there’ll be peace in the Middle East.”

Ladies and gentlemen, the floor is open to comments. Be my guest.

Related: Russell Brand Rips Into Sean Hannity For Bullying Guest on Gaza Conflict

Image: YouTube

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P!nk, born Alecia Beth Moore to a Jewish mother, was just named Billboard’s Woman of the Year Mazal tov. She’s the 8th woman Billboard has awarded, and although we are proud of our Jewish sister and her accomplishment, we are left wondering one thing: where is Rihanna on this list that includes Reba McEntire, Taylor Swift, Beyonce and Katy Perry?

Barring the year 2008 (when she was opening for Kanye West on his last solo tour), Rihanna has released a top selling album every year since 2005. You can literally mark the past seven years of your life with the Rihanna song that was playing in the background. “Pon De Replay” played at your Bat Mitzvah, “Disturbia” at your Sweet 16, “S&M” at your high school graduation and “We Found Love” during every frat party your freshman year of college. We learned about life and love with Rihanna, and she taught us how to overcome and power through. Her Wikipedia page is literally too long, overflowing with accolades and accomplishments, to even read. Time named her one of the World’s Most Influential People. Plus, she’s got love for the Jews. Rihanna called traveling to Israel an “Amazing amazing experience” and had a short-lived fling with Drake—the ultimate good Jewish boy. Who knows if she might’ve converted had things progressed.

I guess Rihanna hasn’t come out with an album this year yet, but the rumor mill is churning with recent news from MTV Italy about a possible album in November. (Yay!)

We’ll give Billboard credit for naming Rihanna the top artist of the 2010s. At least they’re acknowledging her greatness, but to be honest, we’re not even halfway through the decade and it seems a bit premature to even give out that award.

One last shout out to P!nk, though, for not really caring what other people think. This post was really just an excuse for us to tell you she’s Jewish and show you this still from her “Raise Your Glass” video.

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On Tuesday night, Joan Rivers, clad in a silver sequined jacket, took the stage at New York City’s West Bank Cafe. Shining like a disco ball, she warned us she was a little drunk. She had just performed for a group of Jews, and “Uchhh,” she whined. The crowd cheered in the name of inebriation, or something.

Rivers is a legend. If the warm reception of the audience, visibly elated to be in her presence, is any indication, her “Queen of Comedy” crown is still intact. Her facial expressions—scrunched up, eyes rolled, tongue out—were a hit. Her jokes, laced with racism, classism, and ageism, invoked that uncomfortable, nervous laughter—and even some outright roars. Among today’s crop of clever comedians, a “Mexicans are so ugly…” joke would likely be considered lazy and stupid. But Rivers had the woman sitting in front of me laughing through seriously pursed lips.

As her set went on, we got the Rivers List: She hates the old, the young, the homeless, the blind, the Rihanna, and Princess Diana. But it’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t mean what she says—the show’s proceeds were all going to charity. A salad of pointed insults and self–deprecation has always been her act. It’s just Rivers, working her signature style—one that is loved, and tolerated, because she’s been doing it so well for so long with no signs of stopping.

“I think we’ve all laughed at things we didn’t think we’d laugh at,” she told the crowd.

She’s right. She may be off-color and her jokes uncomfortable, but while whispers of, “Oh, she’s so bad” could be heard throughout the room during her set, the crowd is always on her side.

Previous: Happy 79th Birthday, Joan Rivers
Five highlights from the New York Times interview with Joan Rivers

(Photo by Craig Barritt/Getty Images for New York Women In Communications)

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• Richard Belzer, who’s Jewish and really great on Law & Order: SVU, made a Nazi salute on a red carpet in Monaco. He claims he was referencing Charlie Chaplin’s The Great Dictator—he also put two fingers to his lip to represent a Hitler mustache and then went on to show his butt to photographers—but the usual suspects (read: the ADL) are not pleased.

• To prepare his crew for filming Cosmopolis—which takes place mostly in a billionaire’s limousine—David Cronenberg screened the Israeli film Lebanon and the claustrophobic German war epic Das Boot.

• Barbra Streisand held a $20 million (!) fundraiser to raise money for research into women’s heart disease.

• Larry David’s almost-lost sketches from ABC’s SNL competitor, Fridays.

The post Daily Jewce: Drake and Chris Brown Beef, Babs’ Mega Fundraiser, and More appeared first on Jewcy.

“What the fuck is going to happen in Israel?” Berg asks, before going off on an impassioned, if scattered, tangent. “Its the most serious issue facing our planet right now,” he says, “Moreso than the movie Battleship.”

Inquiring whether the 25-year-old reporter served in the army (he didn’t), Berg asks if he was a draft dodger.

“You gotta join the army motherfucker,” he says, before saying the interviewer’s last name doesn’t sound Jewish (we learn that both of their fathers are Jewish).

We couldn’t tell you when Battleship is coming out (is it out already?), but we sure like seeing an American movie director go nuts about Israel.

(Photo credit: ROBYN BECK/AFP/GettyImages)

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• Scott “Scooter” Braun, Justin Bieber’s Greenwich-bred, Emory-graduating manager, has a new gig with Universal Music Group, while little brother Adam is in the news for his non-profit, Pencils of Promise.

• SoHo’s newest tenant? A hip kosher restaurant called Jezebel.

• Real Estate website Curbed named this granny-chic, plastic-covered apartment the worst real estate listing in New York.

• Here are some kids reenacting the Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage” music video. They rule:

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