About Marty Beckerman

Marty Beckerman is the author of Dumbocracy (September 2008).

Rudy’s Oral Fixation

By January 7, 2008

It seems that former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani can’t go five seconds without invoking 9/11, but his defeat in the Iowa primaries brought a new low: “None of this worries me—Sept. 11, there were times I was worried,” Giuliani … Read More

Brands the Nazis Gave Us

By January 7, 2008

Are you supporting companies that supported the Third Reich? Can you drive a car, wear a suit, use a computer or cure a headache without the deaths of six million Jews on your hands? Cracked lets you know.  

Young, Horny, and Impotent

By December 24, 2007

Woody Allen defined the act as “sex with someone I love.” But sometimes you hurt the one you love, and in my case I proved Norman Mailer’s theory that “anybody who spends his adolescence masturbating enters his young adulthood with … Read More

Paging Dr. Ruth: A Brief Encounter with America’s Best Sex Therapist

By November 16, 2007

I am going to ask Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the legendary 79-year-old sex therapist who stands no taller than Frodo Baggins or Yoda the Muppet (four feet, seven inches), if she is the perfect Blowjob Height. Before I harass the near-octogenarian … Read More

My Failed Quest for Forgiveness

By September 18, 2007

Last week I fulfilled my obligation as a Jew by apologizing to eight people. Only one forgave me. Apparently I’m that much of an asshole. The rabbis tell us that we must seek forgiveness directly from people we’ve harmed. Many … Read More

Fear and Kvetching in Jerusalem: Part II

By August 6, 2007

DAY FOUR We go to the Tel Aviv Center for Educational Technology in order to hold an experiment in “open space technology,” which is a fancy way of describing the act of sitting in rooms and talking. Sessions include “Can … Read More

Fear and Kvetching in Jerusalem

By August 6, 2007

A few months ago I was invited to participate in the ROI (“Return on Investment”) Global Summit for Young Jewish Innovators, held in Jerusalem between July 1 and 5. By some miracle my invitation was not nullified after I posted … Read More

Premature Education?

By July 26, 2007

Last week Democratic Senator Barack Obama made headlines by suggesting that public schools teach “age-appropriate," "science-based” sexuality lessons to kindergarteners. He later clarified that "age-appropriate" means teaching children how to avoid predators, not how to unroll condoms. Former Massachusetts Governor … Read More