Get ready for grub-themed man films coming your way via Seth Rogen and Jason Segel. Rogen’s film, co-written, as usual, with Evan Goldberg, is aptly titled Sausage Party:

Directed by Conrad Vernon (“Monsters vs. Aliens”) and Greg Tiernan, ”Sausage Party” is a raunchy animated movie about one sausage’s quest to discover the truth about his existence. After falling out of a shopping cart, the hero sausage and his new friends embark on a perilous journey through the supermarket to get back to their aisles before the 4th of July sale.

Segel will star in a film based on a maple syrup heist. Yes, you read that correctly.

Family Guy vet Chris Sheridan is writing the script. Barry Josephson is producing with Gordon and Segel. The comedy with dramatic overtones is inspired by real events reported in the Montreal Gazette by journalist Anne Sutherland. Over $20 million worth of maple syrup was stolen in 2012 from Quebec’s Federation of Maple Syrup Producers and to date, over 20 individuals have been arrested in conjunction with the heist as prosecutors try to make the charges stick.

Don’t they sound like perfect date movies?

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Funny or Die brings us these bloopers from Judd Apatow’s latest, This is 40, and they’re pretty funny.

The best part comes from Jewcy favorite Jason Segel, who’s having some trouble keeping a straight face while intimately stretching Leslie Mann’s character. He’s supposed to say “Everything you need is inside of you,” but he keeps cracking up.

“Come on, Segel. This is what you do,” he says to himself in an adorable pep talk. “This is what I do for a living.”

The post Are These Bloopers From ‘This is 40’ Funnier Than the Actual Movie? appeared first on Jewcy.

Capricorn (Dec. 21–Jan 20): Krich nit tsu hoich, vestu nit darfen falen: Don’t climb too high and you won’t have to fall.


Hebrews named Capricorn “the slain kid,” which refers to the blood of the lamb sacrificed during the Passover story, saving firstborns from slaughter. Capricorn was also known as Azazel, the scapegoat from Leviticus.



Capricorn, a cardinal earth sign, shows a great deal of initiative: you want to control your environment rather than have it control you. Although you are earth-bound, you are more concerned with your own state of mind—which is largely ambitious, but also idealistic to the point of neurotic—than with the outside world.  

While Capricornis generally thought of to be ruled by the goat, you are actually ruled by a goat-fish (a goat with a fish tail!). Although your goat side is always climbing toward the top of the mountain, you also take refuge in the waters of consciousness (this is associated with the Greek god Pan, who took refuge in a river by turning his lower half into a fish). Finding a balance between caution and passion allows you to flip the script on those who have you pinned one way or the other.  If you lean toward the goat-side, try to handle others—and yourself!—with kid gloves. 



There are three different levels of Capricorn:  practical, earthly and sensual, and confused by depth of desires—why you may often fail to express your true feelings, concealing them under your practicality and work ethic. Striving to be industrious and persevering, calm and diligent and determined, your concern with status makes you almost puritanical in your discipline. Largely conservative, you are the consummate professional—shveyr arbiter (hard worker)—not exposing your feelings, and patiently waiting for the results of your hard work and ambitions. 



The New Moon in your sign on January 11 gives an opportunity to put something in motion—perhaps one of your long-awaited ambitions will come to fruition if you put your nose to the grindstone. Mercury also shifts into your sign on December 31, where it will stay until January 18. You can really get into your pragmatic thinking and express your true self. With Mars in Aquarius starting December 25, take more initiative in a leadership role. Venus in Sagittarius, meanwhile, gives you a chance to really take a look at your love life, giving you more freedom to solidify your true self and what you want out of love.  


Famous Capricorn Jews: J.D. Salinger, Jason Segel, Bebe Neuwirth, Sandy Koufax, Hank Greenberg, Simon Wiesenthal, Howard Stern, Shari Lewis, Andy Kaufman, Helena Rubenstein, Heidi Fleiss, Phil Spector, Harry Shearer, Soupy Sales, Diane Von Furstenberg, Vidal Sassoon, Laura Schlessinger, Susan Sontag, Stan Lee, Isaac Asimov (unknown, but celebrated on Jan.2)



AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21-FEBRUARY 20): You may be dreaming of a better reality, but try to relax and let the fates do their thing. Vos vet zein, vet zein: what will be, will be! While you Aquarians tend to be emotionally detached, you can harness these cosmic energies to give yourself over to something greater than yourself.  

PISCES (FEBRUARY 21-MARCH 20): You’ve been selling yourself short for far too long, and your neshama may be a bit worse for wear. Forces are at work to get you the recognition you deserve, and perhaps a much-needed boost in your finances. Sweet Pisces often want to help others—but before you do that, you must help yourself. 
 
ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20): With your ruling planet Mars in innovative and philanthropic Aquarius, you may find yourself spending time with new people and in situations that call for your special brand of bravado. If you can look at your life from the outside, you’ll see that you can deal with your ongoing issues while giving attention to the rest of the world.

TAURUS (APRIL 21- MAY 20): Life keeps teaching you the lesson that time can alter everything: di tseit ken alts ibermachen. As much as you’ve been burning both ends of the candle for what seems like ages, you must continue to assert yourself. Doing what’s right for you, rather than what others think is the right thing for you, gives you the courage of your convictions.

GEMINI (MAY 21- JUNE 20): Kolboynik (rascally know-it-all) Geminis have a knack for finding convenient excuses and explanations for everything. With your ruling planet moving into Capricorn around January 8, you may become more focused on money matters, favoring independence and practicality over flights of fancy.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 20): With the full moon in your sign on December 28, you will be more inclined to pay attention to details that may have previously gone unnoticed. Because this particular full moon has some stressful energies attached to it, you may feel even more like secluding yourself in your shell. If you can find a way to make your home cozy while getting yourself out into the world, you may be in for a surprise or two.

LEO (JULY 21-AUGUST 20): Ven nit di shein, volt kain shoten nit geven: If not for the light, there would be no shadow. Leos have the potential to light up a room with your good vibes, and the upcoming full moon energy is perfect for empathizing with others. Understanding other people and what they’re all about can help you relate to yourself with more clarity of purpose.

VIRGO (AUGUST 21-SEPTEMBER 20): Be good to yourselves this month, dear Virgos. You may hold dear to your balobotishe (respectable, well-mannered) reputation, but embracing your creativity and individuality does not mean letting go of your cred. Your ruling planet Venus will be in Sagittarius for the first part of the new year, giving you the freedom to explore what makes you truly healthy, wealthy and wise.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 21-OCTOBER 20): Libras sometimes get a bad rap for being a Jack-of-all trades, master of none (Fil meloches, vainik broches). This month, you may be feeling insecure about your indecision, and tendency to flit from one interest to another. Deep feelings may be heading your way, and holding on to a something stable may help you to decide what is most important to you. 


SCORPIO (OCTOBER 21-NOVEMBER 20): To you secretive Scorpios, information is power, and power is maintained by keeping that information to yourself. Who do you think you’re fooling? Listening to your heart will give you a sense of what you really want out of life, love and career.  You can be true to yourself without giving the rest of us shpilkes. 


SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 21–Dec. 20): If you feel your confidence has been given a once over from all of the planets traveling through your sign in the past month, keep in mind that you fire signs have a lot your corner to ensure you remain true to your echt (authentic) self. You’ve got a lot of room to maneuver, and if anyone gives you a hard time for your freedom-urges, they probably weren’t worth having around to begin with.

What’s Your Sign?
Sagittarius, the Adventurous Archer (Nov. 21 – Dec. 20)
Stinging Scorpio (October 21-November 20)
Lovely, Lawful Libra (September 21-October 20)
Virgo, the Anxious Maiden (August 21-September 20)
Leo, King of the Jungle (July 21 – August 20)

(Art by Margarita Korol)

The post Jewcy Horoscopes: Capricorn, the Cardinal Earth Sign (Dec. 21–Jan 20) appeared first on Jewcy.

• It’s official: Hanukkah ham is back for another holiday season. [Snope]

• Adam Levine really expletive hates Honey Boo Boo. [GQ]

• But Honey Boo Boo loves Israel! [Mako]

• Ray from Girls, aka Alex Karpovsky, stopped by the Rookie treehouse and gave some grown man advice. [Rookie]

• Seinfeld beat out Friends for the honor of best sitcom ever. [Romenesko]

• From Day 2 of the best Les Mis advent calendar ever, Jason Segel and Paul Rudd singing “Confrontation.” [Vulture]

The post Daily Jewce: ‘Seinfeld’ Named Best Sitcom Ever, Honey Boo Boo Hearts Israel appeared first on Jewcy.

• President Obama won 69 percent of the Jewish vote. Tee hee. [JTA]

• District Diva Mindy Meyer lost, big time, in last night’s election. We’re talking three percent of the vote. [Forward]

• Tony Kushner talks Lincoln in the Obama era. [LA Weekly]

• The Gaza crocodile has been caught and returned to the zoo it escaped from two years ago. “We hope he lives a good life here with his wives,” a policeman actually said. [Yahoo!]

• Jewcy favorite Jason Segel might not be involved, but the Muppets sequel will feature new music from Flight of the Conchords’ Muppet-grammy-winner Bret McKenzie. [Vulture]

• Ithaca grad Ben Feldman called his aunt in Chicago to tell her about his Emmy nomination for his role on Mad Men. [Access Hollywood]

The post Daily Jewce: Four More Years for Obama, None for Mindy Meyer appeared first on Jewcy.

Almost every character on Freaks & Geeks could have been Jewish. After all, it was a Judd Apatow show. Lindsay Weir (Linda Cardellini), all dark hair and trigonometry prowess, and her scrawny little brother, Sam (John Francis Daley), totally could have been Jews. Bill Haverchuck (Martin Starr) also had a Jewish way about him, so nerdy and hairy was he. James Franco and Jason Segel are Jews in real life. And Ken, as played by Seth Rogen? Forget about it. So Jewish.

But this was network television. Though our beloved Freaks & Geeks ultimately (and cruelly) lasted only one season, the Weirs were probably conceived as a spin on the market-tested, relatable every-family, the kind at the center of a long line of family sitcoms. That means not Jewish. For all of Judd Apatow’s Jewish influence, the other creative force behind the show was Midwesterner Paul Feig, whose Michigan upbringing provided the basis for many a Freaks & Geeks (but mostly Geeks) plotline. So it makes sense that the Weirs were goyim. But it also entirely amazing that Neal was so Jewish.

Neal Schweiber, arrogant but mostly loyal friend to Sam and Bill, played by Samm Levine (why the double m, Samm?), probably wasn’t the only Jew in his school or town. But he was enough of an outlier that the class bully singled him out with cracks about his circumcision and, as Neal once confided to a fellow William McKinley High minority, a black kid, “Last year I was elected school treasurer. I didn’t even run!” The show went out of its way to point out Neal’s Jewishness at every opportunity. When the geeks needed to buy nonalcoholic beer to neutralize the potential danger of a kegger, it was Neal’s bar mitzvah money that provided the funds. When the geeks considered whether ninth grade was too old for trick-or-treating, Neal declared that when he hit 13, he became a man. As a part of the show’s ensemble, Neal helped flesh out the different shades of geek that appear in the wild: as opposed to sub-100-lb. Sam or nut-allergy-prone Bill, Neal’s geekdom was expressed in the form of … well, annoying, crotchety Jewiness. It’s almost surprising that to call someone a Schweiber doesn’t carry the same cultural weight as calling someone a Shylock. It’s kind of like being a Jewish Eddie Haskell.

Like Seth Cohen would a few years later, Neal took a special pride in his own comedic stylings, dressing up as Groucho Marx for Halloween and confidently but haplessly advising his fellow geeks that the way to land a woman is through one’s sense of humor. The three geeks were all obsessed with comedy—Bill Murray, Steve Martin, Saturday Night Live—a detail easily attributed to Mr. Apatow’s own youthful interest in funny business. Neal took it a step further, though. See, Samm Levine didn’t play Neal like he was playing of a Jewish high school freshman; instead, Neal was more of an elderly Jewish man, perhaps a veteran of the Catskills comedy circuit, trapped in the body of a 14-year-old boy. Witness his penchant for sweater vests, the throwaway detail that he chose to write his book report on an autobiography of Sammy Davis, Jr., and even the small but perfect way Neal posed during the show’s credits sequence, a picture day montage set to Joan Jett’s “Bad Reputation”: other characters smiled awkwardly, embarrassed, but Neal plastered on his best Lounge Lizard grin, as if to say “Who loves ya, baby?” Neal was so confident about his own wit that when the position of school mascot became available, he was convinced he could revolutionize the job with his use of props and physical comedy. And of course, when he had problems at home, his mode of acting out was to take up ventriloquism, performing cringe-inducing routines with a dummy he called Morty.

The show’s portrayal of Jewishness wasn’t all shtick. Freaks & Geeks drew class distinctions between the freaks that we were to understand came from the wrong side of the tracks and the nicer, middle class Weir family, in which Mr. Weir owned a sporting goods store and Mrs. Weir was a homemaker. But then we can compare the Weirs to the Schweibers, headed by dentist Dr. Schweiber (who had vanity plates reading “I Flossem”) and the kind of mother who took tennis lessons and ordered in for dinner, which is to say, one with more disposable income. Their house was slightly nicer, and Neal was slightly more spoiled—remember, he was the first to get an Atari. And can we pause here to appreciate the immaculate casting of Amy Aquino as Neal’s mother and David Krumholtz, in one episode, as Neal’s older brother home from college? Rarely have two Jewier Jews Jewed (well, Googling doesn’t confirm that Amy Aquino is Jewish, but her hair on the show was so flawless). If the show had gone on to a second season, surely Lisa Edelstein would have appeared as an aunt or Hebrew High teacher.

As strange as it is that Neal’s most notable character trait was his Jewishness, and that this was often portrayed as a punch line in and of itself, knowing that he was created by Judd Apatow & co. makes it seem like a loving, rather than offensive, portrayal. Neal feels like a special Easter Egg—or perhaps hidden Passover matzo?—for all the Jews who were watching. I like to think that he paved the way for all the Network Jews that came after him, all of whom he schmoozes with on the high holidays at the big TV Temple in Jewcy’s imagination.

Previously on Network Jews:

George Bluth Sr., the erstwhile Jew and patriarch of Arrested Development

Fran Fine, the nasal-voiced star of The Nanny


Noah Puckerman, the coolest Jew in school on Glee

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Responding to a Twitter follower who questioned whether the fellow in the picture below, seen rooting for Portugal in the Olympics, might be Judd Apatow, the director offered two simple, beautiful words. “Sephardic Judd,” Apatow tweeted back, both identifying the man and coining the title of what would be his most overtly Jewish (if entirely hypothetical) directorial project yet.

Sephardic Judd would probably star Jason Segel, with the requisite Jonah Hill supporting character and maybe even a Paul Rudd subplot, if we’re lucky. And a lot of circumcision jokes.

“@musicflick: Any reason @juddapatow would be representing Portugal? twitter.com/musicflick/sta…”Sephardic Judd.

— Judd Apatow (@JuddApatow) August 13, 2012

The post Judd Apatow Movie-Based-on-a-Tweet We’d Like to See: ‘Sephardic Judd’ appeared first on Jewcy.

• Mayor Bloomberg’s daughter, Georgina, thinks her dad should run for president.

• Joan Rivers on Ben Franklin’s sense of style: “He was a fashion plate, he was smart. He knew how to wear long coats to elongate his chubby little body.”

•Tel Aviv-born artist Maira Kalman illustrates her native city on Israel Independence Day.

• Judd Apatow’s new film, The Five Year Engagement, is out today, and guess what—there’s a yarmulke scene:

The post Daily Jewce: Maira Kalman Draws Tel Aviv, Joan Rivers Talks Ben Franklin’s Fashion Sense, and more appeared first on Jewcy.

• Awesome couple alert: Jason Segel and Michelle Williams.

• The best part of NCAA Final Four weekend? The Saturday morning bagel brunch held by the Jewish Coaches Association.

• Jon Scheyer never went to the Dead Sea while he was playing basketball in Israel.

• DSK “was treated like the messiah at orgies.” Gross.

The post Daily Jewce: Mayim Bialik Schools Dana Carvey, Jason Segel Dating Michelle Williams, and more appeared first on Jewcy.

• New York Mets owner Fred Wilpon settles his Madoff suit for $162 million.

• There goes Senator Chuck Schumer, riding his bike in the Prospect Park bike lane his wife opposed.

• Alice Cooper seriously needs a new shirt.

• Jason Segel + Adam Levine = BFF.

The post Daily Jewce: Mets’ Owner Settles Madoff Suit, Joseph Cedar Talks Filmmaking in Israel, and more appeared first on Jewcy.