Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve heard that Tila Tequila, the MySpace sensation turned reality star (remember A Shot at Love?), who announced she had converted to Judaism in 2012, has a new alias: Hitila. That’s right. As Liel Liebowitz reported on our sister site, Tablet Magazine, earlier this week, Tequila declared on her blog that having been rejected by the Jews, she is now a Hitler sympathizer.

To drive the point home, Tequila posted an elaborate illustration of herself as sexy Hitler, practically straddling the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp on her Facebook page. It has since been removed, but not before being circulated throughout the World Wide Web.

Tequila even wrote a song reflecting on her new alter ego and worldview, drawing from those old school, anti-Semitic conspiracy theories.

A few key lyrics:

Every time you hear my name it’s going down, goin down X 4
Feeding yo mind with GMOs
while givin yo babies flo flo
not flo rida but flo ride
that shit that burns yo third eye
Jewluminati motherfuckers hate me
Oh no they don’t wanna date me
Nor you nor you nor you too
Worldwide Genocide blame it on the jews

So now they call me a nazi
no bitch I’m just good at yhatzee
Espionage is my middle name HA!
I got you good while rolling through yo hood
Hitler no Hi Tila
Hitler no Hit Tila
Hitler No Hi Tila

Well, Tony Ortega at Raw Story decided to check in with the peeps at the white supremacist forum Stormfront, many of whom are apparently quite pleased to win Tequila as an ally. Other reactions ranged from confused to suspicious of the Vietnamese-Jew-turned-Hitler (shocker: Nazis are not too keen on Asian American’s either!). Ortega kindly compiled a list of responses for us, so that we don’t give those hateful bastards any more web traffic than they already have. It’s worth a read:

“It’s insulting to Adolf Hitler to have that promiscuous, degenerate, mongrel defending him. She makes me want to vomit.”

“The sad part is this no one will listen to her.”

“I congratulate her for finding the truth.”

“Brave woman to throw her career away for truth. Jew Hollywood and media will never hire her again.”

“Very, very strange. Her entry almost seems copied and pasted from this website. I wonder if she wasn’t somehow ‘encouraged’ — either overtly or covertly — to promulgate this information in an attempt to discredit it. I, for one, am quite skeptical.”

“She sounds perfectly lucid to me.”

“She’s not a truther, she’s a plant.”

“We need more people like her spreading this type of message. As long she does not preach racial mixing, has no kids, and eventually commits suicide, it is all good.”

“She’s got 2 million followers. People will listen to her. The Zionist veneer is finally crumbling.”

“I posted a supportive comment on the page. I think we all should to show her that she is not alone in her beliefs.”

And perhaps inevitably…

“Is she of Jewish racial ancestry?”

The post Neo-Nazis Confused by Tila Tequila appeared first on Jewcy.

Yesterday, Bernard Madoff’s ex-finance chief gave a colorful testimony against his former colleagues in a federal court, explaining that as auditors closed in, Madoff instructed them to destroy years of forged account statements, and replace them with more credible forged account statements.

Account managers Annette Bongiorno, Joanne Crupi, operations director Daniel Bonventre, and computer programmers Jerome O’Hara and George Perez, all stand accused for their role in the Ponzi scheme which came crashing down five year ago.

Frank Dipascali, Madoff’s right-hand man, recounted how on one occasion, in order to satisfy an auditor, fake documents to verify trading activity were produced in a hurry, and Madoff aides took great pains to make the documents look authentic, Newsday reports:

When DiPascali left the auditor to retrieve the report, he said, he found O’Hara, Crupi and Perez “tossing it around like a medicine ball” and laughing hysterically. He asked why.

“They explained to me that the document should look used, and I should not bring a hot, warm piece of paper up to an auditor,” he testified. “They had put it in the refrigerator.”

Madoff did not go down gracefully either. Dipascali testified that when the con man realized a Florida-based investment firm that invested in Madoff, Avellino & Bienes, was being investigated for not registering promissory notes, he started swearing, “throwing himself around the office like a lunatic,” and “ranting and raving to himself about the idiocy” of the firm.

The post Madoff Sidekick Reveals Freakout Over Government Probe appeared first on Jewcy.

This Thanksgiving, Randi Zuckerberg wants you to unplug. That’s right. Sister of Facebook mogul Mark Zuckerberg suggests you stop updating your Internet life and attempt to engage with actual life. That means talking to people in your family and stuff. Ugh, how awkward…

On her Dot Complicated blog, Zuckerberg urges readers to enjoy one-on-one time with their families and friends rather than Instagramming the turkey, referencing her own social media mishap last Thanksgiving. She also took the opportunity to promote her new book on web addiction.

Before you point out the hypocrisy of Little Miss Facebook proposing a social media ban, you may want to take a look at the post. She kind of has a point:

Yes, I do mean eating your Thanksgiving dinner instead of live-updating from the table. And calling or Skyping a loved one directly instead of shouting “Happy Thanksgiving” to your followers. This year, let’s take a day off from sharing our every thought and feeling with the world. Give thanks for the people in your life by giving them your undivided attention. The most meaningful thing we have to give is our time. Stop broadcasting and start listening.

All things in moderation, of course:

Initially, I was going to suggest a total Internet black-out for Thanksgiving, but a tech boycott isn’t the answer. Our devices and our social networks do keep us connected, when we use them thoughtfully. It’s pretty amazing that I can see a relative’s face from across the country, or see photos instantly from a special event I wasn’t able to attend. Tech connects us when we use it mindfully.

So what if her bro’s company was kind of what started this mess? So what if the Zuckerbergs seem to have conspired to create the most brilliant business model ever? So what if while one Zuckerberg sibling entraps us with apps and ads and photos of our cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s dog, another is promising to free us from the dizzying loop of technology?

Previous: Mark Zuckerberg’s Sister Writes Children’s Book About Going Unplugged

(Photo by Waytao Shing/Getty)

The post This Thanksgiving, Put Down the Smart Phone, Says Randi Zuckerberg appeared first on Jewcy.

Jewish parody videos are nothing new. In the beginning, God created the Maccabeats’ Candlelight video set to the tune of Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite,” perhaps the catchiest Hanukkah anthem ever. Then, Agent K Media graced us with a raunchy LMFAO spin, informing the interwebs that “he’s Jewish and he knows it.”

But this year, the Jewish holiday parody is back with a vengeance. Sick and tired of Hanukkah being perpetually outshone by Christmas, the Jews are finally getting theirs: a once in a lifetime, super-holiday, Thanksgivukkah. And we will not shut up about it! Those shopping mall carols have got nothing on the overload of irritating Thanksgivukkah parodies that are spamming up Facebook newsfeeds everywhere.

Here is a Jewcy countdown for the Top Five Most Annoying Thanksgivukkah Parodies:

1. “Oils,” a play on Lorde’s hit, is a great way to immortalize the fantastical holiday. And, it comes at the heels of the slightly creepy pro-circumcision spoof, “Mohels.” Now you’ll never get that damn song out of your head.

2. In this video, you will see Benji Lovitt’s singing head superimposed on Star Wars characters, Popeye’s Olive Oyl, some pilgrims, and the cast of Eight is Enough, as he tells the Thanksgivukkah story to the tune of Don McLean’s “American Pie.” You’d better watch it because he’s “about to cry from Jewish and American pride.”

3. Then there is that epic Manischewitz Thanksgivukkah rap battle. A classic, in which Hanukkah and Thanksgiving face-off for sovereignty over November 28th. Cute, Manischewitz, but that still doesn’t change the fact that your wine tastes like cough syrup.

4. The puppet band, Buba Myses, explores what happens when a non-Jew accidentally happens upon a Thanksgivukkah celebration and is bombarded with dreidels, latkes, and singing puppets in an adaptation of Will.i.am and Britney Spears’ “Scream & Shout.” YOU CAN’T LOOK AWAY. Trust me.

5. Finally, this parody is closer to resembling what many of our Thanksgivukkahs will actually look like. This sweet crooning couple (Gil and Margie Brodsky) could easily be your parents, and that menorah, with the turkey tangled in its branches— a likely Thanksgivukkah centerpiece.

Sing it with me, now:

Thanksgivukkah, Thanksgivukkah,
Come light the menurkey
Let’s have a party
With latkes and turkey
Maccabees and Pilgrims
Americans and Jews
Thankfulness and freedom—
The lessons we choose.

Take that, Baby Jesus!

The post The Top Five Most Annoying Thanksgivukkah Parodies appeared first on Jewcy.

Twenty-nine years after his death, it seems Andy Kaufman may have pranked us from the grave.

A 24-year-old woman claiming to be the avant-garde comedian’s daughter took the stage at the Annual Andy Kaufman Awards at Gotham Comedy Club Monday, and told the audience that her father, long-rumored to have faked his own death as one of his characteristically elaborate hoaxes, is very much alive, reigniting the rumors.

Kaufman’s brother Michael addressed the audience saying he was not certain whether his brother was alive or dead. The Comic’s Comic reported from the event:

Michael Kaufman told the audience that while cleaning out Andy’s things after his death in 1984, he found among his many writings an essay about how Andy planned to fake his own death, his literal, figurative and spiritual leaps through meditation, and how he’d eventually reappear on Christmas Eve on 1999 at a particular restaurant that had served him a favored dish years earlier. When that date arrived, Michael said he ventured to the restaurant, asked for a table under one of Andy’s pseudonyms, and waited. He didn’t meet Andy that night, but said someone handed him an envelope, and in that envelope was a letter addressed to Michael from his brother. The letter purported that Andy wanted to go into hiding and live a normal life, that he’d met and fallen in love with a woman and had a daughter, and that he didn’t want Michael or anyone to say anything while their own father was still alive. Andy’s and Michael’s father died this summer. Michael said a young woman called him a month afterward to say that Andy indeed was alive, that he was watching the Andy Kaufman Awards from afar and loving the fact that so many comedians had been inspired by him. When Michael asked the Gotham audience if that young woman had showed up Monday night, a 24-year-old eventually stood up from the back of the room and sheepishly made her way onstage

Then this happened:

One of the award finalists, Killy Dwyer, wrote on Facebook about how real it felt in the room that night:

As much as this seems like bullshit as I type it, it was as real as anything I’ve ever seen. There is video. It was chilling, upsetting and absolutely intriguing. I bawled my eyes out. The entire room was freaked out. It was, if nothing else, brilliant. and incredibly mindfuckng and AWESOME.

Of course, it didn’t take long for the internet to figure out that Ms. Kaufman was actually Alexandra Tatarsky, a 23-year-old New York City based actress, whose father is not Kaufman, but a doctor.

If you still aren’t sure that Kaufman is very dead, here is his death certificate.

In the words of a lost legend: “Tenk you veddy much.”

The post Andy Kaufman’s Secret Daughter Surfaces at Andy Kaufman Awards appeared first on Jewcy.

Tel Aviv-born, Canadian photo artist Dina Goldstein, of Fallen Princesses fame, which depicted the far from happily ever after mid-lives of Disney princesses, has a new photo series, this time depicting the imperfect life of Barbie, titled In the Dollhouse.

As in her previous series, there is a distinct feminist perspective in Goldstein’s latest work. Though the shots feature the troubled relationship of Barbie and Ken— he’s apparently a gay man who likes to try on Barbie’s stilettos—Barbie is clearly the protagonist. The sequence closes in on her emotional deterioration as she struggles, in vain, to win her man’s affection. The narrative gets a little confusing at the end when, after cutting her hair and dressing in drag, perhaps to please her man, Barbie’s head pops off.

Goldstein enlightens us on her website:

Barbie, the idealized woman. More than any other childhood construct, Barbie represents the concept that Beauty is Power and necessary to attain Happiness. However, when Ken, Barbie’s handsome but emasculated boyfriend, expresses his individuality, the value of beauty as an apex trait is exposed as a cheap, plastic facsimile.

See the website for Goldstein’s full photo series.

Previous: A Darker Look at the Lives of Disney Princesses

The post Dina Goldstein Exposes the Imperfect Life of Barbie appeared first on Jewcy.

So, funnyman Sacha Baron Cohen just bombed another award show. This time he “accidentally” pushed a wheelchair-bound old woman off stage for the glammed-up celebrity audience at the BAFTA Los Angeles Jaguar Britannia Awards on Saturday. Ouch!

The second Baron Cohen strutted on stage, it was clear that the episode would not end well. After being presented with the Charlie Chaplin Britannia Award for Excellence in Comedy by Salma Hayek, a mysterious woman named Grace Cullington, supposedly the only living actor from Chaplin’s silent films, presents Baron Cohen with one of Chaplin’s canes. After doing a terrible Chaplin impersonation, the cane collapses and Baron Cohen crashes into sweet old Cullington, wheeling her off stage, to the horror and screams of award show guests.

What do you think? Check it out. Action begins at 1:51:

The post Sasha Baron Cohen Kills It appeared first on Jewcy.

Cats are definitely the animal kingdom’s most photogenic species. There is something about kitties on film that melts our cold cynical hearts into pools of warm milk. Which is why I was surprised to find them frolicking with Nazis in this positively adorable war-time photo series. This Tumblr may just be the internet’s starkest juxtaposition of cute and sinister ever.

See for yourself:

Nazis With Cats [Tumblr]

The post Nazis Who Love Cats appeared first on Jewcy.

Apparently porn star James Deen is looking for amateur porn actresses to be featured on his pay-per-view website. This Nice Jewish Boy Gone Bad is about as discerning about women as he is about tacos, he loves ‘em all. But he’s got some standards, check it out:

•This is not a contest. This is an ongoing casting call for women that would like to shoot a porn scene with James. There is not one lucky girl that will shoot a scene with James, there are many lucky girls. :)
•We love you all very much, but we will NOT accepts applicants under the age of 18. Strictly forbidden. No exceptions. Ever.
•James shoots with ALL types of women. Confidence is key!

After spotting Deen’s tweet, D.C.-based comic Jenn Tisdale took Deen up on his offer, and she lived to write about her experience on Jezebel this week. Tisdale described Deen as the decent, considerate hipster we imagine him to be. For the shoot, the pair roamed around New York City, grabbed coffee, and laughed together on the front steps of a church. When it was all over, they killed time watching John Mulaney’s New in Town special. Tisdale reflects:

After he left I felt really good. There are few words in the English language more annoying than the word empowered. Imagine that feeling but swap it out for a different word because I would sound like a complete asshole if I used it….It’s further proof that porn is not the Wizard behind the curtain it once was. The Sexually Liberated Dorothys of the world have pulled back the drapes to reveal something not quite frightening after all. Surrender Dorothy, turns out she’s a submissive after all.

As for Deen, it seems he has also cashed in on Tisdale’s reporting:

because of @jenn_tisdale's awesome sex and writing on @Jezebel http://t.co/MPyW4Zc3uL crashed… it is back up now if you wanna go jerk it

— James Deen (@JamesDeen) November 1, 2013

(Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty)

Previous: Jewish Porn Star James Deen Films Google Glass Porno

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There’s another Jewish spin on Banksy’s street art this week. A Jewish business owner was the lucky recipient of Banksy’s recent bumper art. In drippy red lettering, the back door of a delivery truck in Sunset Park, Brooklyn now reads, “The grumpier you are the more assholes you meet…,” the Orthodox Jewish news site Vos Iz Neias reports.

Israel Lippel, the owner of I&A Merchandise, was at first unaware of his good fortune:

“After Shabbos I got a lot of phone calls,” Israel told VIN News. “I googled Banksy and thought I would just leave the truck where it was until Monday, but a chassidishe guy called me and said ‘you better go move the truck before someone vandalizes it.’”

Lippel told the news site that he was offered $75,000 for the door, an offer he expects to accept, hoping to pay off some debts. But when we spoke, Lippel said he didn’t think that was a serious offer.

“We have other art from juvenile children that doesn’t matter, but if this is the way god wanted to send me some money that’s also good,” Israel told me. “We’re trying to see the best way to sell it. We never got any concrete offers, we are waiting for the right person to come.”

Many of Banksy’s crime scenes have been valued at well over $200,000, but the street artist doesn’t care for the money.

Previous: Banksy Channels Hannah Arendt and Nazis

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