Things have sort of spiraled out of control ever since a guy who calls himself Fat Jew taught a spin class to homeless people on Citi Bikes in June. Today we meet Sammy Cycle, lead instructor at CyclePathic, who says things like “Spinning is great because sometimes you want to bike, but you don’t want to pass poor people on the street.”

Sammy Cycle (“You’ve heard of Lance Armstrong? I’m Dance Armstrong”) is really Evan Krumholz, a Long Island native whose past work includes Semitic-centric parodies like “Nassau (County) State of Mind.” His latest doesn’t compare to the workout video New Girl actor Max Greenfield filmed in character as Schmidt (though we admittedly have a pro-Schmidt bias around here; he was the inaugural feature in our Network Jews series), but it’s probably the only time you’re going to see a spin class pedaling to “Oyfn Pripetchik” from Schindler’s List.

Dayenu?

Related: Tribal Humor Goes Viral
Previous: ‘Fat Jew’ Gives Free Spin Class For Homeless People—On Off-Duty Citi Bikes

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The trailer for the new season of Homeland is here, and while the Showtime hit might not be the key to achieving Middle East peace, as co-star Mandy Patinkin believes, it’s one of our favorite shows on TV right now.

So what does the trailer reveal? Not much, unsurprisingly, but there are a ton of scenes packed into the three-minute video: Brody shaves his head, Carrie wears a hospital bracelet, Carrie and Saul get called before a hearing, Saul maybe sells her out, Brody wears a hoodie, someone maybe puts a bomb together, police come for Carrie, and angsty teen Dana Brody snaps a topless selfie (really, Howard Gordon?) and possibly takes up Islam. Have a look:

Need another Homeland fix before the September 29 premiere? Check out Dov Friedman’s ode to Saul Berenson, who he argues is the most accurately depicted American Jew on television; and Sarah Breger’s sharp analysis of why the American adaptations of Israeli dramas like Homeland (called Hatufim in Israel) and In Treatment have been (wildly) successful, while Israel comedy transplants like The Ex-List have fallen flat for American audiences. She also points out the glam makeover the casts of both Homeland and In Treatment got when the show was revamped for American audiences.

Or you can always watch this video of Mandy Patinkin completely freaking out after learning his Good Day New York interviewer’s wife just gave birth to the couple’s first child. In the words of the plotzing Patinkin, “Oh my god, how thrilling!”

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In what he calls “the most electrifying performance of my career,” rapper Action Bronson took to the rec room at St. Hilda’s East Community Centre in London to do some of that rap stuff for the residents. “This is about to be popping,” he tells the camera. “I don’t care about Coachella, anywhere in New York; the Garden, it don’t matter.”

He was up against brass cleaning in Room 2 (and right before naptime), but the Jewish rapper from Queens got a pretty big turnout nonethless—though not many of the audience members seemed to particularly like his style of music. What they did like, though, was his beard.

The whole thing is strangely adorable.

(Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Coachella)

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Last week, we reported that Trigg Laboratory’s lubricant had received kosher certification from the Rabbinical Council of California. The RCC cried foul, though, announcing that they had rescinded the certification once they found out what lube was:

Certification of non-edible items is common in the kosher industry, but the intended uses of these items as now revealed, was misunderstood. The RCC has rescinded its certification with immediate effect, and deeply regrets the widespread consternation that this error caused.

So instead of kosher lube, now it’s just…lube?

UPDATE: The RCC’s Assistant Director of Kashrus Services sent a letter to Trigg Laboratories explaining that the company can just throw a ‘K’ on their product and call it kosher: “Although we are not able to certify the product, it is our understanding that one may legally place a ‘K’ on their products to indicate its kosher status. When there is no outside certifying agency, this is called ‘self-certification’ and when inquired about a certifying authority you advise them that you have self–certification based on the fact that your ingredients are exclusively known to be kosher without any cross contamination on your mixing and bottling line.”

Hopefully that’s the latest twist in this slippery saga.

Previous: Finally, You Can Buy Kosher-Certified Lube

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“Adam Levine and his girlfriend Behati Prinsloo are excited to announce they are engaged to be married,” the rep says. “The couple recently reunited and Adam proposed this weekend in Los Angeles.”

Prinsloo isn’t the model girlfriend in this naked photo shoot with the clothing-averse singer, but now the pair has a lifetime to take pictures together in various states of undress. Though feelings about the Jewish pop star are decidedly mixed (see: ‘Adam Levine Continues to Ruin Everything‘), we wish him nothing but the best on his impending nuptials.

Mazel tov, guys. (And if it doesn’t work out, Adam, call us!)

(Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

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Madonna’s second child, Rocco, became a man this weekend, getting called to the Torah for the very first time. He was bar mitzvahed at Manhattan’s Kabbalah Center, where her Madgesty is a regular, Us Weekly reports:

The actual bar mitzvah ceremony took place on Saturday at the Kabbalah Centre in New York City, but the entire family gathered one night earlier at the Centre for a little pre-party. Madonna and Ritchie were very cordial and looked “so proud” of Rocco, the onlooker says of the singer and her director ex, who welcomed their only biological child together in August 2000.

Mazel tov, Rocco. I’m sure our invite got lost in the mail.

(Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

The post Madonna’s Son Rocco Got Bar Mitzvahed This Weekend appeared first on Jewcy.

Polish archaeologists discovered something unusual at a construction site in the South of Poland: what is believed to be a Medieval-era burial site for suspected vampires. According to the Guardian, who broke the ghoulish news, “Skeletons were found with their heads removed and placed on their legs indicating they had been subjected to an execution ritual designed to ensure the dead stayed dead.”

Unfortunately no identifying objects (jewelry, objects, garlic cloves) were found, so the archaeologists can’t ascertain exactly when the bodies were buried. But apparently the vampire craze existed pre-Twilight. From the Guardian:

Historians say that the practice was common in the Slavic lands during the decades following the adoption of Christianity by pagan tribes.

Happy Friday. (Boo.)

Polish archaeologists unearth ‘vampire grave’ [Guardian]

The post So, Archaeologists Discovered a Vampire Gravesite in Poland appeared first on Jewcy.

Their Kickstarter campaign for a music video may have epically failed, but The Cabin Sisters won’t be deterred. Girls’ Zosia Mamet and her banjo-wielding sister Clara are headed to Brooklyn this weekend for a Saturday night show at The Grand Victory—and tickets will only cost you $10 this time, not $5,000.

Here’s a clip of the Sisters Mamet doing their laid-back folksy thing at Bowery Electric. Would you see them in concert?

Previous: Win A Date With Girls Star Zosia Mamet
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Zach Braff, who made a post-Garden State splash in April when he announced plans to fund a sequel to his 2004 coming-of-age-for-real-this-time epic via Kickstarter (it was successful), is headed to Broadway, Vulture reports. And not just any old Broadway show—a musical, directed by Woody Allen, adapted from his 1994 film Bullets Over Broadway.

Here’s the film’s trailer. Just picture Cusack as Braff, and you’re all set.

(Photo credit: CARL COURT/AFP/Getty Images)

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AdWeek interviewed Dylan Lauren, daughter of Ralph Lauren and namesake of Dylan’s Candy Bar, and in addition to learning that she reads her horoscope out of her neighbor’s copy of the New York Post and is a Chelsea Handler devotee, we discover that the 39-year-old is so hooked on her BlackBerry, she wrote her entire book on it. While using something called a StairMill:

I love the BlackBerry. I’m on it all the time. I literally wrote my whole book, Unwrap Your Sweet Life, on the BlackBerry while I was working out on the StairMill. So many people tease me about having a BlackBerry, but I meet a lot of people who still use one. Obama has a BlackBerry!

Obama may have a BlackBerry, but does he have a StairMill? Should we have a StairMill?

(Photo credit: Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images for Glamour)

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