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Even I Have Standards…

Despite the book’s best attempts to answer everyone’s humiliating sex questions, there were a few queries that just couldn’t make it into the mainstream media. I was tasked with the careful extraction of X-rated and/or completely bizarre musings. These were some of the questions that made me wonder what, exactly, I was doing with my life and if my career would soon be reduced to writing ad copy for vibrator catalogues. Then I realized, well, I’m not the one with these insane problems. Some of you people are really screwed up! My top ten:

10. I am part of a group that engages in unusual sexual practices. What would happen if I let 30 bees sting my penis?

9. What’s the weirdest thing anyone has tried to shove inside their body?

8. My friend claims she knows guys with a three-headed penis. Is this possible or an optical illusion?

7. Why are women so mean?

6. Is it possible to lose your virginity to yourself?

5. Can I buy or special-order condoms for dwarves and midgets?

4. I would like to give my husband a partial circumcision. What would you recommend I do first?

3. Is it possible to tell if a man is a virgin just by the way he walks?

2. Why do men wear pleated pants?

1. Can I tag my husband’s penis so I can tell if he’s cheating on me, like with a tiny microchip?

Kara Baskin, author of Size Matters, is guest blogging on Jewcy, and she’s here all week.  Stay tuned.

 

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