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Messy Meshugane. Again.

Messy Meshugane. Again.

by
June 10, 2022

Shema Arielle, 

Remember the funny guy from before that I was supposed to be straight up with… well, that never happened. BUT, we are seeing each other again consistently-ish.

Oy.

Now that it’s been quite a few months of this back and forth, I find myself wondering… am I in a relationship? We certainly haven’t put any words to it and we don’t seem to be progressing. But we are becoming attached to each other. Well, at least I am.

Last night I found myself Googling “how often should you be seeing your partner” and “how often should you be texting your partner.” Silly, right? But having never progressed this far, I’m confused. I realized I don’t know what’s normal and I’m too embarrassed to communicate that to Mr. Funny-Jew-Boy. Maybe even that I want to see him more? What if he thinks we’re stuck in a casual loop? Is that why we don’t talk at all between dates?

Again, oy… Hoping for your guidance again. 

Sincerely,

Messy Meshugane

Hey Bubbela, 

Well, isn’t this a delicious deja-vu? WRONG! It’s as stale as the matzah my mom hoards in her pantry. You completely disregarded my words of wisdom in our last correspondence but I won’t hold it against you because I, too, never take my own advice. I do, however, also Google “how to know if a guy likes you,” so you’re in good company. 

My dear anxious meshugane, I know you know that it’s time to have “the talk.” Analyzing Mr. Funny-Jew-Boy’s every move — or lack thereof — is a waste of time and energy. You’ve been groovin’ and schmoozin’ with this hunk for long enough that it’s totally appropriate to pop the dreaded “what are we?” At this point, the fling needs to flourish into a relationship or come to a screeching halt. Honest communication is, dare I say, the final solution. If commitment isn’t on Mr. Playboy’s horizon then he must set you free! But, darling, waiting for him to initiate the talk is like waiting for Godot. The time to ask is now, because if not now, when? 

Your options are to continue agonizing over this fellow and risk a missed connection with someone who will actually talk to you between dates, or to respect your desires and go after what you want. And Mr. Funny-Jew-Boy isn’t necessarily what you want, Bubbela! Well, you think it’s what you want, but in reality what you crave is a secure romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t leave you feeling confused after every excursion. If you want to rid your stomach of that knot, you’re gonna have to untie it yourself. 

Rip off the bandaid and define the relationship ASAP. Like, right now. Okay? Yalla, bye!

Love, 

Arielle

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Arielle Kaplan is a columnist at Jewcy Magazine and the Digital Editor of Hadassah Magazine. Her bylines include Hey Alma, Kveller, JTA, The Nosher and Salty Magazine.

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