God wants you to have a great sex life—if you’re married, that is. This is the claim being made by Paul Wirth, lead pastor of Tampa, Florida’s Relevant Church.
Pastor Wirth has issued a thirty day sex challenge to his married parishioners, advising couples to have sex every day for a full month. A mission statement available on the initiative’s website describes the plight of married couples (previously best explained by Flight of the Conchords) and the steps they can take to “review the obvious needs of him and uncover the forgotten needs of her.” It says that married couples are letting “dirty dishes, frumpy clothes, and a lack of authentic connections” get in the way of the romance, resulting in “an epidemic of breakups.” The solution: thirty days of sex in conjunction with a detailed guide in which couples are directed to share their thoughts, needs, and emotions (NOTE: don’t leave this in the bathroom when your in-laws visit.) If you have the determination, you will prevail and voila! Magic: restored.
So maybe it's no surprise that this news was picked up joyously on the parenting site Babble, where (presumably married) new parents seem nothing but psyched about the idea of having sex for God — even if they're Jewish. Non-married couples, on the other hand, need not apply. In fact, singles and dating couples are strongly encouraged to take their own version of the thirty day challenge: to abstain from sex for the same amount of time in order to better understand and appreciate the virtues and joys of marriage.
What would the rabbis say about all this? The Jewish attitude towards sex is not that far from the one Pastor Wirth is preaching. Jewish sex, formally permitted only within marriage, is not only for the production of Jewish babies. It’s also a means for strengthening the love and commitment between two married people. As the Torah frequently uses the verb “to know” to describe sexual relations between people, sex can be thought of as a way to truly and most intimately become familiar with your spouse. Not to mention: it’s a mitzvah!
Maybe Relevant Church is onto something after all.