Boyfriend and Girlfriend Discuss Glee: The Britney Episode

Last night was the much anticipated “Britney Spears” episode of Glee.  Here, boyfriend and girlfriend discuss it, along with J. Crew sweaters, Jewish minstrel shows, and Kurt being awesome.

Girlfriend: I just want to point out you spelled Britney wrong throughout this whole discussion.  Clearly, you didn’t have to deal with her as much growing up as I did.

Boyfriend: My mistake, should I go back and fix it?

Girlfriend: No, suffer. And now, on to the Britney (with one T). Boyfriend: Meh, okay. So Schuster was wearing a J. Crew sweater I almost bought.  Do you think he looks better in it than I would?

Girlfriend: I think Will is looking more and more like a hapless dork — I wasn’t looking at what he was wearing, because I was too busy trying to look away from the nerd.  Default, you look better in the sweater.

Boyfriend: Awwww, thanks.  Okay, back to the discussion.

I have a weak spot for adult contemporary.  I’d love to hear them cover Christopher Cross. Thoughts?

Girlfriend: I was REALLY hoping they’d at least give “Between the Moon and New York City” a try before segueing into Britney.  Sometimes I think the New Directions rallying cry of “we are nerds and the only people that like us are in this club” is undermined by their relentless assault on popular music — if they really sang all that Gaga and Britney at school, I’m pretty sure the other kids wouldn’t be picking on them.

Boyfriend: Britany S. Pierce!  Britany is my favorite character in this episode by far. I think she’s actually the most insane one of the bunch.  The plaque thing is somewhat endearing.

Girlfriend: I think the Brittany thing was very much a piece of Ryan Murphy ephemera.  He loves POP CULTURE.  Once again, looking at Nip/Tuck as an example, he had Joan Rivers on the show all the time essentially playing herself.  Still, the actress who plays Brittany really proved herself here.  I read that she used to be a backup dancer for Beyonce, which really showed in all her dance scenes.

Boyfriend: Okay, so while you were busy cooing over Uncle Jesse, I was thinking STAMOS!  YOU BASTARD!!!  Hate this motherfucker.  George Clooney did loops around his bullshit act.

Girlfriend: Please, you’re just jealous.  I think Stamos did his very best to make Will look like an absolute nerd, and he succeeded.  I saw Stamos in Bye Bye Birdie on Broadway, and he has a great singing voice.  I hope we get to hear him sing next week.  They were teasing us a little during his scene with Will in the dentist chair, but no such luck.

Boyfriend: Never thought I’d say this, but I really miss Britney Spears.  After attempting to watch Katy Perry the other night, I thought that to myself, but this confirms it.

Girlfriend: I never really missed Ms. Spears, but it was nice remembering the days when pop stars could at least dance to make up for the fact they couldn’t sing.  Now they can’t do either.

Boyfriend: Can’t believe these kids “grew up” on Britney Spears.   You “grew up” listening to her too, didn’t you young Jedi?

Girlfriend: I never cared for bubblegum pop, but yeah, my peers generally came of age to the sounds of Britney Spears.  I would go so far as to say that all the guys in my elementary school simultaneously went through puberty during the premiere of the “Hit Me Baby One More Time” video.

Boyfriend: So um, Rachel doing “Hit Me Baby…”  This is pretty, um, awesome.

Girlfriend: It was funny to watch, but she struggled with the song.  It was clearly difficult for her to sing it, as her voice is a lot better and more able than Britney’s.  It was pretty strange to see.

Boyfriend: Jacob Ben Israel is the worst Jew on the fucking planet — wanking off in the library like that. What a pathetic little slime.

Girlfriend: I feel bad for him too, but I’m also repulsed by him.  He’s kind of venturing into minstrel show territory.

Boyfriend: Think they should lay off the pathetic Jew thing?

Girlfriend: Well, I think they should lay off the pathetic Jew stereotypes.  It’s just unsettling.  The sexual deviance, the physical weakness, the general inability to control his bodily urges…oy.

Boyfriend: Wheelchair football seems like a pretty fun sport. 

Girlfriend: Once again, an improbable and slightly offensive Ryan Murphy flourish.  What’s next, bobbing for Asians?

Boyfriend: I wouldn’t be at all surprised.  The awkward Asian comments outnumber the Jewish ones.

Oh, so Kurt makes me want to rock a bow tie.  Thoughts?

Girlfriend: I think you’re too muscled up top, but try it.  I’m more interested in Kurt’s..skirt?  He was definitely wearing a skirt when he stormed off to the principle.

Boyfriend:  Kurt rules.  I want a friend like him.

And finally, the best Sue quote of the night: “Lady Bird Johnson’s Tramp Stamp,” tied with: “You wear more vests than the cast of Blossom.”