“New Year’s Eve is like the death of a pet,” says John Oliver. “You know it’s going to happen, but somehow you’re never really prepared for how truly awful it is.”
If you’re a human being with a modicum of sanity, you too hate New Year’s Eve. Welcome. Sit. Warm yourself by the fire of internet rage. This is a safe space for us haters to hate, hate, hate, hate the following: champagne, noise-makers, confetti, desperate kisses with near-strangers at midnight, and enforced joy at the ticking over of the clock into a regular day that just happens to be called January 1. (And who needs New Year’s Eve when there’s the prayer-food-guilt-laden-fest that is Rosh Hashanah?)
Anyway! Enough of my exasperated ranting. I’m turning the stage over to Jewish comediennes Soren & Jolles, who nail everything that is heinous about New Year’s Eve in their latest video, “An Honest New Year’s Eve.” (Avid Jewcy readers may recall their displeasure at the Anne Frank House make-out scene in The Fault in Our Stars.) Enjoy! And Happy New Year, I guess, FWIW.