Jon Gosselin Talks Judaism

Jon Gosselin (basic explanation for those of you lucky enough not to know who he is: he and his now-estranged wife had twins and sextuplets, then they got a show on TLC called Jon and Kate Plus Eight, then they split up and Jon started dressing like an overgrown frat boy and dating Kate’s plastic surgeon’s daughter. You’re welcome.) recently gave an interview to ParentDish.com. There was quite a bit of Jewish talk, since Jon’s girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, is a member of the tribe. Most of the quotes were so hilarious/embarrassing that we’ve decided to let them speak for themselves:

This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I’m now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great.

I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I’m learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar’s. I love that place. I’m learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself. Hailey makes fun of me. My mom came to the city on Yom Kippur and asked where all the traffic was. I got from the West Side to Midtown in five minutes. She wants to come to the city every year on Yom Kippur.

I talked to Rabbi Shmuley [Boteach] a couple of times. He has nine kids. I was really nervous dating a Jewish girl. She’s like the best girl ever. All my friends are like ‘I’m so jealous’ and I’m like, ‘Stay away, she’s mine.’

I have a therapist. But hanging around Jewish people you don’t need to talk to anyone else. My parents and grandparents are divorced and I want to break the pattern. I have Hailey and Mark Heller, my attorney, my therapist. They’re all Jewish. I watch them and I confide in them, especially Hailey. She is my best friend. She’ll tell me if I do something wrong. God has put these people in my life for a reason. My inner circle is Jewish. I only care what they think.