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Lizzy the Lezzy Is The Funniest Lesbian on MySpace

Lizzy the Lezzy might be the cutest cartoon lesbian of all time. She’s got a British accent and a giant oval-shaped head, and she sings filthy songs about muff-munching in a high-pitched voice, sounding a bit like a sapphic Hermione on helium. The brainchild of Ruth Selwyn, a Jewish Brit based in Israel, Lizzy’s combination of hilarious candor—you should hear what she has to say about bisexuals—and unabashed pride has won her a devoted fanbase. After less than a year as a MySpace phenomenon, she was picked up by LOGO TV, which airs her episodes on “Alien Boot Camp,” their Friday night animation show for gay geeks.

We spoke to Lizzy through her intermediary Selwyn about sex, Judaism, and gay Tel Aviv.

Lizzy, what’s your background? Are you British? Where do you currently live?

I was born and raised in a secular Jewish family in a small town in England. I attended a Church of England local primary school where the headmistress was called Mrs. Winterbottom and my class teacher was called Mrs. Shrimpton, I kid you not. I developed my love for singing when they made me head of the choir and every week I sang merrily from the pulpit in church. I broke challah bread with my family on Friday night and offered it up to Jesus on Sunday. But there was never any confusion in my head.

One freezing winter’s day a teacher scolded me for praying in church with my gloves on. “But I’m not praying to your god,” I said, “I’m Jewish, and my god doesn’t mind!”

Throughout my teenage years I attended Habonim-Dror Jewish youth movement, where I learned about Judaism, Socialism, Zionism and smoking pot. It was there that I met a girl who liked it when we tickled each other’s arms and backs. “We’re not really lesbians, are we?” she said. “Naaaaa, it just feels nice.” I replied. It took me another ten years to realize that I was indeed a lesbian, and that it felt more than nice.

Successfully brainwashed to “marry someone Jewish” and feel like “Israel is my home” I packed a bag and made aliyah to Israel in search of a nice Jewish girl to tickle.

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