Yesterday I wrote about how, after spending the past year of my life writing 11,002 Things to Be Miserable About, I’ve become an expert in seeing the misery in just about anything. And so today, in honor of an important and exciting event in our nation’s history, I present a list of Things About the Inauguration to Be Miserable About.
The $150 to $170 million total cost
The fact that there are only 5000 portable toilets for 2 million people
The upscale toilets that were brought in for members of Congress and dignitaries, but are off-limits to everyone else
Pepsi’s adaptation of Obama’s "O" symbol into the Pepsi swoosh
All of the disappointed fashion designers Michelle Obama didn’t end up wearing
Scalpers who sold free inaugural tickets for $99 and up
The hour-long lines for the DC Metro
The scam in which teenagers paid thousands of dollars to represent their states "for" the inauguration, but received no tickets
The overwhelmed cell phone networks and dropped calls
The long list of very ordinary items prohibited at the parade, including bottles, strollers, and umbrellas
The 30-degree weather
The fact that the Capitol was built by slaves
The possibility that pregnant women who live on Capitol Hill will go into labor during the inauguration, and be unable to get to the hospital due to the crowds
The miles of gridlocked traffic in and around Washington
The impossibility of Obama’s living up to everything that everyone is expecting from him
Okay, I meant to make a list of 44 things, in honor of our 44th president… but honestly, I’m having a hard time coming up with anything else. The media, typically a reliable source of gloom and doom, is full of stories about low-income teenagers receiving free trips to the capitol, racially segregated churches coming together to offer hospitality to those attending the event, and families setting aside their political differences to celebrate together. It’s a tough day to be a writer who specializes in misery. But I have to admit, it’s a pretty exciting day to be an American.
Lia Romeo, co-author of 11,002 Things to Be Miserable About, is guest blogging on Jewcy, and she’ll be here all week. Stay tuned.
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Preview 11,002 Things to Be Miserable About, visit the book’s website, or check out book trailers and videos on YouTube.
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