‘Girls’ Recap: Season 3, Episodes 1 & 2

I woke up still thinking about Jessa giving oral sex to “Taystee” from Orange Is the New Black. How’s that for Monday coffee talk? If you’ve watched, you feel my pain. If not, I’ll run through what went down last night on the back-to-back, fast-paced episodes of Girls.

In “Females Only” we were greeted with a snapshot of each of the girls and where they’re at today. For Hannah, it’s with Adam. And for Jessa, it’s in rehab. Shosh is stuck in an awkward morning cuddle with a guy from class, and Marnie is in a new apartment, but still not getting out of bed.

It’s safe to say that one of this season’s goals is to dig deeper into the reasons why the “girls” are the way they are. This all starts with Jessa’s stint in rehab, where we witness her sermon in “speaking the truth” to her fellow addicts who tend to beat around the bush (no pun intended). Another truth- teller in this episode? Sir Adam, the wise, always naked, “Neanderthal sex-addict sociopath.”

In the beginning of the episode we witness a cringe-worthy coffee-run in scene focusing on the awkward love triangle that is Hannah, Adam,and Natalia. After a discussion at Grumpy’s on why Ray won’t attend Hannah’s dinner party (because of Shosh), Adam walks in to greet Hannah, and pretends he’s invisible once he realizes his ex, Natalia, is sitting at a table with Amy Schumer (the “feisty shiksa”), who plays her loudmouth friend. Natalia spits some well-deserved venom at Adam, “So you know what you have on your hands here right? An off the wagon Neanderthal sex-addict sociopath whose gonna fuck you like he’s never met you and like, he doesn’t love his own mother. I hope you two just enjoy your life, fucking like the two feral animals that you both are. You’re gonna end up with a baby that you don’t know how to care for. You’re gonna fucking kill your kids. You’re gonna give it spoiled formula.” Hannah stares on in awe, with that “is-this really-happening and holy-shit-this-is-Natalia?” kind of look. This situation leads to a conversation where Hannah tells Adam despite what Natalia said, she really gets him. He feels the same way, and the whole situation is pretty much overlooked. Hannah’s thunder can’t be stolen by Natalia, because she’s flying high on her impending book deal, as we see later in the episode when her and her editor happily eat chocolate teacups at Dylan’s Candy Bar.

We find Jessa in rehab, not because she is coming to terms with her addictive behaviors (Hannah refers to Jessa as a “life addict”), but because it’s the only thing her grandmother would financially support. Jessa’s as insubordinate and rude as ever in group therapy, refusing to share her feelings, but more than willing to take on everyone other addict’s issues. As she says, “I figured my shit out already when I was 5 years old. Heroin is really fun, but it can also kill you.” She attacks the meth user for wearing scrunchies, which rivals her other best moment, when she calls out lighter-fluid huffing Laura for using being raped by her uncle as an excuse for taking drugs and not admitting she’s a lesbian. This then leads Laura to throw a cup of coffee on Jessa, and nobody gives Jessa a napkin to wipe her dripping face. Later on in the episode, Jessa goes to make amends with Laura, and asks her if she’s ever kissed a girl. Shortly after, we see Jessa, full out “going down” on purple-vest wearing Laura, which ends up getting her kicked out of rehab (what she wanted all along).

In more “normal” situations, Marnie is still picking up the pieces from her broken relationship with Charlie. In the beginning of the episode Marnie is at her mom’s house in New Jersey, where her mom, played by Rita Wilson, is telling her she has to work hard to move on. Marnie insists she’s trying and has changed her whole life, but her mom is just “Fucking sick of talking about him. He is just the first of 20 guys whose going to fuck you over. That’s just what guys do.” But Marnie thought she was going to spend her life with him. We get it, Marnie. Later on at Hannah’s dinner party, Marnie breaks down crying after Adam slips that he ran into Charlie on Bedford Avenue. This leads to a very heartfelt moment between Adam and Marnie, where he tells her what love really feels like, and what it will be like when she finds the “real” one.

And of course, Ms. Shosh, who is clearly getting more screen time than ever before. Shosh is back in school, and trying to balance hooking up with boys and her studies, which is totally Shoshable. Her high-pitched voice is still funny, and so is her neuroses, but her comments this season seem less whimsical, and more recycled. How many times can we hear Shosh starting a sentence with: “Well, once my friend told me, that like…blahblahblahblah.” Shosh redeems herself in the second episode though, when her, Hannah, and Adam venture upstate to pick up Jessa from rehab.

“Truth or dare” focuses on the journey upstate, with a Hannah/Shosh sing-along to an Adam Levine song, which prompts Adam to smash the car radio. The three have a sleepover where Shoshanna suggests they play truth or dare, since Adam’s never played. Shosh’s wild dares for adam? After retracting her dare for him to run to the ice machine naked, she dares him to kiss Hannah. This then leads to “bed time” where Adam and Hannah get frisky under the covers, and Shosh runs out of the room saying, “I’ll come back when the cum parade has just paraded on by.”

Hannah comes out in a “Pebbles” pony and sits on the carpeted motel floor with Shosh as they eat Chex Mix and discuss whether or not it’s the “right thing” to go pick up Jessa from rehab, after Adam suggested she stay there. Although Hannah appears to be the voice of reason in this conversation, Shosh says she wasn’t aware that Jessa even had a problem because “she’s so pretty, and guys love her, and she doesn’t even really want a job.” Hannah tells a sad anecdote about college, summing up what a lonely soul Jessa is, and although Shosh agrees that the story’s sad, she decides she’d still rather have Jessa home to cameo in her graduation photos.

When they get on the road again, Adam insists they stop for a hike, and Shosh is all for it, frolicking up the hill, gripping her hiking stick. Lena protests: “You go ahead. You live your truth. I’ll be here, living my truth.” Hannah proceeds to lay in the leaves and listen to a podcast, while Shosh tells Adam he’s “so dementedly helpful” for being there for Hannah post-breakdown. Here we realize just how lonely and weird Adam is (he has no friends, no job), but also how much he truly loves Hannah.

In Season 2, Jessa last left Hannah stranded at her parents’ house with only a note and an signed “x”, but of course, knew she’d still come running as her “sister” to escort her out of rehab. Jessa was officially kicked out for “fraternizing” and “distributing a zine of provocative cartoons.” The two go on to have a confrontational chat in the gazebo outside where Hannah schools Jessa on what friends do, and don’t. Hannah says, “It made me remember what it was like in college when you’d say, ‘Oh, meet me at the Free Palestine party,’ then I’d find out you’re over at the Israel house. And so I just wish you would get it that this is not ok behavior for a friend.” The episode ends with the four of them riding off into the country sunset, with Adam at the wheel, Hannah and Jessa snuggling in the back seat, and Shosh strapped in the passenger seat.

Until next time..