The first season of “Rock of Love” ended with aging Poison frontman Bret Michaels getting rejected by Jes, the self-consciously "punk" chick he’d chosen to be his one true VH1 soulmate. This season, which premiered Sunday, seems to feature fewer Jes types and more inflated stripper types like Angelique, who distinguishes herself in the clip below by having a delightful French accent and taking off her panties. Angelique actually looks a lot like Bret circa 1988, which makes sense given that most of the “Rock of Love” contestants seem more interested in being Bret Michaels than doing him. They’ve all got fake hair like Bret, they all have melty faces like Bret, and they all claim to be really excited about going to strip clubs and making out with girls like Bret. Also, it’s pretty clear post-Jes that what these girls want isn’t Mr. Every Rose Has Its Thorn—it’s that special kind of fame that comes with being known nationwide for your sexing-and-drinking abilities, exactly like Poison in its heyday.
So the whole show turns into a contest to see who can best emulate Bret in his youth— with Bret competing hardest of all.
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