Dating Blogger Charles: “Pattern Recognition”

Patterns in my life emerge rapidly and men fit into the most recent one, only a few weeks old. Two most recent patterns are by told I’d make a fabulous-looking woman, and being propositioned by men in relationships. Drag queens/transgender women telling me I’d make a fine like specimen. Last Friday night I was out with two lesbian friends. (I collect lesbians because I love them. I keep them in a tiny china cabinet in my heart and they all know it). I was dancing and having a good time when a drag queen came up to me and said, “Why aren’t you in drag… you’re gorgeous!” STRIKE 1. Saturday night: I was at ladies night (my favorite night because you can dance without being groped by sleazebags) with my lesbians and a transgender woman approached me to tell me that I would be divine in high heals and a mini dress. “Just look at those hips,” she said. STRIKE 2. Monday night: Out having one beer by myself and another “woman” felt the implicit need to inform me that I would be a stunning and elegant woman, that I would need half as much makeup as she needed and could I please let her do me up as a Queen. STRIKE 3. Do I look like a girl? I really like being a man and these comments are starting to insult me. Men who give me their number/e-mail address on the sly because they are in relationships or dating other people. This phenomenon has recently arisen and hopefully will cease in the near future. All of these men have been extremely kind and lovely people, who I would date if their status read: “not taken.” Ugh. I am not one to destroy my own karma or the happiness of others by pursuing an interest in dating men who are already taken. Contact with these guys – and all have been handsome, smart, and hilarious – does violate my own codes of ethical principle. Therefore, I cannot and will not pursue someone who is otherwise engaged… I was clearly interested in Todd; I have decided that he should be a friend. Who doesn’t need a wonderful friend, right? The level/growth stage that I am at in life leads me to the conclusion that these guys shall remain friends, nothing but friends, until death do us part. The actions/direction of the aforementioned parties indicates otherwise, I will from this point forward run from the guys that want to date me although they are otherwise engaged. (Wow, could that sentence be any more Upper-West-Side-private-school-pretentious?) Who says “aforementioned” in an email to a new friend? While accepting a date from a man who is dating someone else does not agree with my moral principles, what happens when you fall in love at first sight with one of these people? When does breaking your own code become acceptable? Since I do not have the answer I am not going to do anything with this particular guy. But… His eyes when he sang (karaoke)… must watch. His presence when you speaks… so full of life. Meeting him… refreshing and regenerative. And now I am done gushing because how unattractive is gushing? Very! Especially from me when it should be a ranting diatribe about how unattractive it is when men completely ignore the fact that they are in relationships and become pigs at the first piece of hot ass (even if it would also be a hot female ass) that walks by. This week’s lesson: I would make a lovely woman. Unavailable men in relationships love me. I think you are all swell and thank you for reading. Wishing you peace and blessings in the New Year.